Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Rand's report on China 2005 (via Babylon transl)

The United States the Rand Corporation on the Chinese people evaluation
The United States the Rand Corporation is a well-known non-profit research institutions, to the United States official "objective analysis and effective solution. Recently, they public more of a China-U.S. relations analysis report, that is a positive, has a strict criticism, it is worth people of the country reflection. This article Rand Corporation from Asia-Pacific Policy Center.

read as follows:
If the twentieth century of China is a rich and the national unity, we will have a completely different the First World War, we will not have the Second World War but 2 European wars. China can prevent Japanese aggression or defeated Japan. The United States ahead and the cost from fundamental sense, a much reduced since Pearl Harbor incident will not occur. We and the whole world, not to mention 1 billion Chinese people, a century, has to China's weak paid a heavy price. The world needs a healthy China.

China's demand to Japan out recession last year. Japan situation to the world economic risks. On this point, I'm are not 誇 Zhang. The Japanese high levels of debt will produce domino domino effect, gradually spread to the world. In the help of China's strong, and the danger seems to have over the past. China globalization to the United States has brought a lot of impact. The most obvious is that China has become the largest U.S. goods market.

Coca-Cola has already accomplished its that look like the myth: sell 1 billion Coca-Cola bottle; once ridiculed dream of China in the common Chinese sell a lot of Buick auto, in a difficult time the profit China 占 General profit by a substantial part of it; China's legend IBM purchase PC business, and save the dying sector jobs. China to provide more low-price the necessities of life for the Americans live in water standards has made great contribution, particularly for we are not well the residents of well-off. There are indications that because it can purchase of China's low-price export goods, low-income Americans' lives in water standards may increase the 5 to 10 per cent.

China's financial system not reasonable means that the Chinese construction of dying enterprise, resulting in large excess capacity. In recent years, China's financial policy volatile lead to the excessive construction of iron, aluminum and cement and other raw materials produced a huge demand. Japanese and Chinese now there seems to be purchase of world of all things, but when you see their financial situation of the when potential problems, you will find a black hole. The Japanese in the 1990s into such a black hole, and is still in efforts to crawl out. China

A lot of people after years will still be for the current such uncontrolled and fanatical felt very sad purchase acts.
At present, China faces enormous challenges. The Bank of China as we know the worst in the World Bank. China each generation, there are quite large scale population in the United States for the rural areas to urban areas. Each year, have 1200 ~ 13 million new workers to join work force. In in the industry, and the productivity to employment effects than our country to a more serious. By 2020, China's population aging will make the working population and not working population ratio the world's largest worse than the Japanese even worse. If there was no magic new policies, China's economic during that period will be severely over a wall. The Year 2020, to our standard standards, it will be a very poor countries.
Chinese lack of good faith and social responsibility. The Chinese do not understand its them as social individual should state and social responsibilities and obligations. ordinary Chinese people generally 只 interest in their families and relatives, the Chinese cultural is built on the family lineage hill and not on a rational social. The Chinese 只 in their immediate families, as well-being of their own unrelated the suffering people turning a blind eye. There is no doubt that this kind of blood as hill based ethics selfish would inevitably lead to cold, such a selfish and cold had become a barrier China Social Development The most crucial factor.

China has never had become a rule of law, because the Chinese ways of thinking and law-abiding conduct incompatible. The Chinese to take a shortcut. They do not understand such a fact that success is coming from and hard work and sacrifice. The Chinese tendency and not to obtain 于. They need to understand why one principle that life is not really said how many of you, you can be obtained from the you can be given to social and your fellow human beings.

Most Chinese who have never learned what had been a decent and honorable to life. Chinese people have generally do not know how to personal and social well-being of productive life. subconscious about that the Chinese regard their lives to elevate their own thus enjoy other people's awareness. In this way, a person is to keep" face" would be satisfied negligible desire. ” face" is a Chinese psychological the basic components, and it has become the Chinese people to the insurmountable obstacles hindering the Chinese accept the truth and try a meaningful life.

This should be condemned habits and characteristics of the Chinese life of a relentless and selfish characteristics, and it has become the main reason behind China.
The Chinese lacked the courage pursue their view, the correct thing. First, they have not from the error screened right things of capabilities, for their thoughts have been greed has occupied. Further, even if they can filter the correct, and they also lacked courage the truth into practice.
The Chinese accustomed to cheap and free of charge things, they are always dream miracle or good luck, because they are not willing to make efforts, they always wanted free-rider. There is little Chinese aware of the fact that prestige and achievements through a step by step is hard work and sacrifice, do not pay no income. In short, if it is to make a living, the

A personal 只 have to obtain; but if that is to make a living, one must need to go to dedication.
In the poverty and environment as a result of growth and lack proper education, most Chinese do not know how the elegant demeanor and basic courtesy. Most of them to dress clumsy crude but does not feel shy. They in the youth, because the education of how from others and lying about the solicitation, rather than to and others to share their own.
China is a rich in natural resources. But unlimited fertility policy making China bring adverse consequences of unlimited cheap labor in exporting countries. The output also include those educated labor output, apart from their education water standards but in reality and other general coolie not fundamentally the difference.

China's large-scale production of cheap products reduced the importation of these products in the region commercial credit ratings. due to inadequate technologies, the management failures in China for the unit of energy use than developed countries like Japan, the United States are much higher. Therefore, with exports increased by China in expanding production and losing his precious energy. At the same time, that such acts also seriously polluted the environment, the China into the world's most are unfit for human living.

Currently, China is suffering from a capitalist 2 evil torture, namely, the environmental destruction and human lost. Because the Chinese people born to be the greed in the nature, they can say without reservation the accept capitalism's dark side of endless pursuit of profit overlook the human dignity. The Chinese people's Western technology and products fanatical pursuit, but the Western management culture has emphasized the frank, direct and honest these qualities indifference.
The Chinese culture does not encourage risk-taking such good quality, so Chinese try to avoid risk-taking, they do not want to find opportunities to improve their living. The Chinese people living the balance of nature and significance and are not interested, and instead more obsessed with the request of material, this point is far better than Westerners. Most Chinese discovered they do not know," Ling," freedom belief" and "Mental Health" such a concept, because their ideological and cannot attain a life (S.: the physical and spiritual co-exist) the presence of a higher level. They thought remain focused on animal instincts of sexual and food that poor desire greed

In the Chinese eyes, education is not in order to search for truth or improving quality of life and the 只 identity and prominence is the symbol and Che subject. China's intellectuals from others that about to respect and not because of their to other people's well-being done nothing about, and the 只 because they were possession of a considerable knowledge. In fact, most of them 只 were just a group understands only concern but has never examination truth and moral patrons.

China's education system has become a large extent as a failure and stigma. It is not capable of serving 于 education, which should the articles: society. The education system cannot be provided to many useful individual. It is 只 in building a group opportunists, it is eager to benefit from the offered by society without concern benefits return.
China can develop a large number of high-level to talent, but very little can develop a qualified to independent chairmanship of management-level expert. serve a company or the social that technology is not enough; there is also have the courage, courage, integrity and honesty leadership, that is precisely what is lacking most Chinese character. As Arthur Smith, a famous of Western missionaries a century ago pointed out that the Chinese people most lacks is not wisdom, courage and integrity of the rather than pure temperament. The evaluation, although after 100 years, but still standards are diagnosed SARS China cause.

Most Chinese abroad for the selection of graduates to work abroad will not feel guilty, in fact, they owed to the Chinese people on education for their sacrifices. As the traditional cultural values of destruction and gradually weak, most of the Chinese people, including educated people wandering in inner spirit and the intersection, like lost dogs, did not know where to go.

e-mail advices

SOUNDS LIKE VERY GOOD ADVICE!

The man who sent this information is a computer tech. He spends a lot of time clearing the junk off computers for people and listens to complaints about speed. All forwards are not bad, just some. Be sure you read the very last paragraph

Please read :

By now, I suspect everyone is familiar with www.snopes.com and/or www.truthorfiction.com for determining whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction.. Both are excellent sites.




Advice from Snopes.com Very important!

1) Any time you see an E-Mail that says forward this on to ' 10 ' (or however many) of your friends, sign this petition, or you'll get bad luck, good luck, you'll see something funny on your screen after you send it, or whatever, it almost always has an E-Mail tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and E-Mails of those folks you forward to.

The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active ' E-Mail addresses to use in SPAM E-Mails, or sell to other spammers. Even when you get emails that demand you send the email on if you' re ot ashamed of God/Jesus .....that ' s E-mail tracking and they' re playing on our conscience. These people don't care how they get your email addresses - just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease "how would you feel if that was your child"....E-mail Tracking!!! Ignore them and don't participate!


2) Almost all E-Mails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of E-Mail is, is a way to get names and 'cookie ' tracking information for telemarketers and spammers - - to validate active E-Mail accounts for their own profitable purposes.

You can do your Friends and Family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them; you will be providing a service to your Friends, and will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam E-Mails in the future!

Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(s) to those types of listings regardless how inviting they might sound!...or make you feel guilty if you

don' t!...it ' s all about getting email addresses - nothing more!

You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT! Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus attached! Plus, we are helping the spammers get rich! Let's not make it easy for them!

Also: E-Mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other organization - i.e. social security, etc.

To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address of the person signing the petition, so this is a waste of time and you're just helping the Email trackers.

Sex affairs

The 1st Affair



A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.

One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM..

The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home..

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'


The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time!'




The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home.

'I have something to show
you won't believe,' he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
'Schwartz is dead!'




The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'




The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs
with your wife?'

The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing
to his business down here.'




The 6th & Best Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

美國蘭德公司對中國人的評價

美國蘭德公司是一家著名的非盈利的研究機構,為美國官方提供“客觀的分析和有效的解決方案”。最近,他們公佈了一份對中國現狀分析報告,即有肯定,也有嚴厲批評,值得國人反省。本文觀點來自蘭德公司亞太政策中心。

原文如下:
如果20世紀的中國是一個富裕和統一的國家,我們會有一個完全不同的第一次世界大戰,我們就不會有第二次世界大戰而是第二次歐洲大戰。中國能夠阻止日本侵略或者打敗日本。美國在這些衝突上的花費從根本意義上會減少很多,因為珍珠港事件不會發生。我們和整個世界,更不用說10億中國人,一個多世紀以來,已經為中國的弱小付出了慘重的代價。世界需要一個健康的中國。

中國的需求對日本走出衰退起到了促進作用。日本狀況給世界經濟帶來了風險。關於這一點,怎麼說都不誇張。日本巨額的債務會產生多米諾骨牌效應,逐漸波及到全世界。在中國有力的幫助下,危險似乎已經過去。中國全球化給美國帶來了很多影響。最明顯的是,中國成為美國商品最大的市場。

可口可樂早就完成了那個看上去像是神話的目標:賣10億瓶可口可樂;曾經嘲笑中國夢的通用在中國賣了很多的別克汽車,在困難時期,中國帶來的利潤占通用利潤的很大一部分;中國聯想購買IBM個人電腦業務,挽救了這個垂死部門的工作崗位。中國提供更低價的生活必需品給美國人的生活水準做出了很大的貢獻,尤其是對我們不是那麼富裕的居民而言。有跡象表明由於能夠購買中國低價的出口貨物,低收入美國人的生活水準可能提高了5%到10%。

中國金融體系的不合理意味著中國建造了垂死企業,導致巨大的生產力過剩。近些年來,中國財政政策上的反復無常導致過度建造,對鐵、鋁、水泥和其他原材料產生了巨大的需求。日本人和現在的中國人看上去似乎會買下世界上所有的東西,但是當你看到他們的財政狀況的潛在問題時,你會發現一個黑洞。日本人在90年代陷入了這樣一個黑洞,至今還在努力地爬出來。中國

人很多年後仍將會為目前這種無節制的狂熱的購買行為感到心痛。
目前,中國面臨著巨大的挑戰。中國的銀行是我們所知道的世界上最糟糕的銀行。中國每一代,都有相當於美國規模的人口從農村湧入城市。每年,都有1200~1300萬新工人加入就業大軍。在製造業,生產力對就業的影響比我們國家要嚴重得多。到2020年,中國人口老齡化會使工作人口與不工作人口的比率成為世界上最糟糕的,比日本更甚。如果沒有特效的新政策的話,中國的經濟在那個時期就會狠狠地撞牆。到2020年,以我們的標準來看,它會是一個非常窮的國家。
中國人缺乏誠信和社會責任感。中國人不瞭解他們作為社會個體應該對國家和社會所承擔的責任和義務。普通中國人通常只關心他們的家庭和親屬,中國的文化是建立在家族血緣關係上而不是建立在一個理性的社會基礎之上。中國人只在乎他們直系親屬的福址,對與自己毫不相關的人所遭受的苦難則視而不見。毫無疑問,這種以血緣關係為基礎的道德觀勢必導致自私,冷酷,這種自私和冷酷已經成為阻礙中國社會向前發展的最關鍵因素。

中國從來就沒有成為一個法制社會,因為中國人的思維方式與守法行為格格不入。中國人老想走捷徑。他們不明白這樣一個事實:即成就來自於與努力工作和犧牲。中國人傾向于索取而不給予。他們需要明白一個道理:生活的真蒂不在於你你索取多少而在於你能給予社會和你的人類同胞多少。

大多數中國人從來就沒有學到過什麼是體面和尊敬的生活意義。中國人普遍不懂得如何為了個人和社會的福址去進行富有成效的生活。潛意識裏,中國人視他們的生活目的就是抬高自己從而獲得別人的認知。這樣一來,一個人就會對”保有面子”這樣微不足道欲望感到滿足。”面子”是中國人心理最基本的組成部分,它已經成為了中國人難以克服的障礙,阻礙中國人接受真理並嘗試富有意義的生活。

這個應受譴責的習性使得中國人生來就具有無情和自私的特點,它已成為中國落後的主要原因。
中國人沒有勇氣追求他們認為正確的事情。首先,他們沒有從錯誤中篩選正確事物的能力,因為他們的思想被貪婪所佔據。再有,就算他們有能力篩選出正確的事情,他們也缺乏勇氣把真理化為實踐。
中國人習慣接受廉價和免費的事物,他們總是夢想奇跡或者好運,因為他們不願意付出努力,他們總想不勞而獲。很少有中國人明白一個事實,就是威望和成就是通過一步步努力的工作和犧牲實現的,不付出就沒有所得。簡單來說,如果是為了謀生,那

一個人只有去索取;但如果是為了生活,一個人必須要去奉獻。
由於在貧窮的環境下生長並且缺少應有的教育,大多數中國人不懂得優雅的舉止和基本的禮貌。他們中的大多數人著裝笨拙粗鄙卻不感到害羞。他們在青少年時所受的教育就是如何說謊並從別人那裏索取,而不是去與別人去分享自己的所有。
中國是一個物產豐富的國家。但無限制生育政策所帶來惡果使得中國成為了無限廉價勞動力的輸出國。這些輸出也包括那些受過教育的勞力輸出,除了他們的教育水準,實則和其他一般苦力沒有本質上的區別。

中國大規模生產的便宜產品降低了輸入這些產品的地區的商業信用度。由於技術落後,管理失敗,中國製造的單位能耗要比發達國家如日本,美國高出很多。因此,隨著出口額的增加,中國在擴大生產的同時喪失著寶貴的能源。同時,這種行為也嚴重的污染了環境,使中國變為全世界最不適宜人類居住的國家。

目前中國正在遭受著資本主義社會2大邪惡的折磨,即環境的破壞與人性的喪失。由於中國人天生的貪婪的本性,它們可以毫無保留的接受資本主義的陰暗面即無止境的追求利潤,忽視人的尊嚴。中國人對西方的技術與產品狂熱追求,卻對西方管理文化所強調的坦率,直接,誠實這些品質漠不關心。
由於中國文化不鼓勵敢於冒險這種優良品質,所以中國人極力避免冒險,他們也不想尋求機會來改善自己的生活。中國人對於生活的平衡性和意義性並不感興趣,相反他們更執迷於對物質的索取,這點上要遠遠勝於西方人。大多數中國人發現他們不懂得”精神靈性”,”自由信仰”以及”心智健康”這樣的概念,因為他們的思想尚不能達到一個生命(補:即肉體和靈性的並存)存在的更高層次。他們的思想還停留在專注於動物本能對性和食物那點貪婪可憐的欲望

在中國人的眼中,受教育不是為了尋求真理或者改善生活品質,而只是身份和顯赫地位的象徵和標誌。中國的知識份子從別人那裏得到尊敬並不是因為他們為了別人的幸福做過什麼,而只是因為他們獲得佔有了相當的知識。事實上,他們中的大多數只不過是一群僅僅通曉考試卻從不關心真理和道德的食客。

中國的教育體系很大程度上已經成為一種失敗和恥辱。它已經不能夠服務于教育本應所服務的物件:社會。這個教育體系不能提供給社會許多有用的個體。它只是製造出一群投機分子,他們渴望能夠受益於社會所提供的好處卻毫不關心回報。
中國可以培養出大批的高級能人才,但卻很少可以培養出合格的可以獨立主持的管理級專家。服務於一個公司或者社會,光有技術是不夠的;還需要有勇氣,膽量,正直和誠實的領導才能,這恰恰是大多數中國人所缺少的品性。正如亞瑟.史密斯,一位著名的西方傳教士一個世紀前所指出的,中國人最缺乏的不是智慧,而是勇氣和正直的純正品性。這個評價,雖然歷經百年,如今依舊準確診斷出中國綜合症的病因。

大多數中國畢業生對選擇出國並為外國工作不會感到內疚,事實上他們首先欠下了中國人民在教育上為他們所做出的犧牲。隨著傳統文化價值觀的破壞和逐步衰弱,大多數的中國人,包括受過教育的人都徘徊在精神和內心世界的路口,像迷失的狗一樣不知何去何從。

要有 "好勁的文學根底" 才寫得出來

雖然小華用了十五句四字詞,但仍然都不及他最後的一行形容詞精彩。同意嗎?

小華在作文簿上寫道:
「我的家有爸爸媽媽和我三個人,每天早上一出門,我們三人就 分道揚鑣,各奔前程,晚上又 殊途同歸。

爸爸是建築師,每天在工地上 指手畫腳 ;媽媽是售貨員,每天在商店 來者不拒 ;我是學生,每天在教室 呆若木雞。

我的家三個成員 臭味相投,家中 一團和氣。但我成績不好的時候,爸爸也 同室操戈,心狠手辣地揍得我 五體投地,媽媽在一旁 袖手旁觀,從來不曾 見義勇為。」

老師後來問小華;你考試成績不好的話,父母怎麼懲罰你?

小華回答:
80分以下 女子單打,70分以下 男子單打,60分以下男女 混合雙打。

The amazing cucumber

This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.


2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area. (WOW)

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!! (DOUBLE WOW)

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber sliced rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

中國文化其實就是吃

謀生叫糊口;工作叫飯碗;

受雇叫混飯;靠積蓄過日子叫吃老本;

混得好的叫吃得開;佔女人便宜叫吃豆腐;

女人漂亮叫秀色可餐;受人重用叫吃香;

受偏愛照顧叫吃小竈;不顧他人叫吃獨食;

沒人理會叫吃閉門羹;有苦難言叫吃啞巴虧;

嫉妒叫吃醋;理解不透叫囫囵吞棗;

理解深刻叫吃透精神;廣泛流傳叫膾炙人口;

收入太少叫吃不飽;負擔太重叫吃不消;

猶豫不決叫吃不準;幹不成叫幹什麽吃的;

負不起責任叫吃不了兜著走!

用來維生的器具叫吃飯傢伙;

嘴先著地而向前仆倒叫狗吃屎;

遇上交通紅燈叫吃紅燈;

警察開罰單叫吃罰單;

員警辦事不力專門吃案子;

惹官非遭人控告叫吃官司;

欺人太甚是吃人;愛管閒事是吃飽了撐著!

Doctor office humor



love the pharmaceutical industry's humor.








I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to note pads.

Well, in my book, this one should get the prize....






I e-mailed it to my Chinese doctor friend.

He e-mailed back: "If light

stay on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician."

Man vs space

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/videos/worlds-greenest-homes-hong-kong-space-saver.html

Of course, I cannot think of it with 10 times his space. I like to see how to handle the privacy problem with his girl friend...

Of course, he should get a Nobel prize.

Chinese, the language

I can speak Cantonese (being made in HK), understand some Mandarin (thanks to the mini series from China and movies), and speak a little Mandarin (better than the Cantonese from Mandarin-speaking folks like my graduate schoolmates in Amherst, MA).

The first emperor of China united the written language but not the spoken language, most likely due to the vast geographical size and communication about 2,000 years ago. Who says tyrant has no benefit o the society, haha!

Via our casual e-mail, my high school classmates Bai Ding and Irene have some comments on language as follows:

According to Bai, Cantonese is a better language for poems contrary to my original belief.

Cantonese that need translation.
http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com/2009/06/hong-kong-cantonese-needs-translation.html

Cantonese that need explanation.
http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com/2009/03/2.html

New Cantonese in HK.
http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-post.html

Dictionary for dirty Cantonese http://www.comti.com.cn/xcantonese/index.html

Funny interpretation of the word 夫 http://tonyp4joke.blogspot.com/2009/07/blog-post_06.html

There are many in my blog that I may have missed to include all of them. Hope you will enjoy the jokes as they are. Sorry most are in Chinese.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Mandarine or Cantonese?

崔世安進修下d「普通話」啦!!!(付字幕+喪笑)

年薪10萬的乞丐給我上了震撼的一課

我拎著剛買的levi's 從茂業出來,站在門口等一個朋友。


一個職業乞丐發現了我,非常專業的、徑直的停在我面前。
這一停,於是就有了後面
這個讓我深感震撼的故事,
就像上了一堂生動的市場調查案例課。
為了忠實於這個乞丐的原意,我憑記憶盡量重
複他原來的話。

"先生 ……
行行好,給點吧。"我一時無聊便在口袋裡找出一個硬幣扔給他並同他攀談
起來。
乞丐很健談。 " ……我只在華強北一帶乞討,你知道嗎?我一掃眼就見到你。在茂業買 levi's ,一定捨得花錢…… "


"哦?你懂的蠻多嘛!"我很驚訝。

"做乞丐,也要用科學的方法。"他說。

我一愣,饒有興趣地問"什麼科學的方法?"

"你看看我和其他乞丐有什麼不同的地方先?"我仔細打量他,頭髮很亂、衣服很破、手很瘦,但都不髒。

他打斷我的思考,說:"人們對乞丐都很反感,但我相信你並沒有反感我,這點我看的出來。這就是我與其他乞丐的不同之處。"
我點頭默認,確實不反感,要不我怎麼同一個乞丐攀談起來。
"我懂得 swot分析,優勢、劣勢、機會和威脅。對於我的競爭對手,我的優勢是我不令人反感。機會和威脅都是外在因素,無非是深圳人口多和深圳將要市容整改等。"


"我做過精確的計算。這裡每天人流上萬,窮人多,有錢人更多。理論上講,我若是每天向每人討 1 塊錢,那我每月就能掙 30萬。但是,並不是每個人都會給,而且每天也討不了這麼多人。所以,我得分析,哪些是目標客戶,哪些是潛在客戶。"
他潤潤嗓子繼續說,"在華強北區域,我的目標客戶是總人流量的3 成,成功機率 70% 。潛在客戶佔 2 成,成功機率 50% ;剩下 5成,我選擇放棄,因為我沒有足夠的時間在他們身上碰運氣。"


"那你是怎樣定義你的客戶呢?"我追問。

"首先,目標客戶。就像你這樣的年輕先生,有經濟基礎,出手大方。另外還有那些情侶也屬於我的目標客戶,他們為了在異性面前不丟面子也會大方施捨。其次,我把獨自一人的漂亮女孩看作潛在客戶,因為她們害怕糾纏,所以多數會花錢免災。這兩類群體,年齡都控制在 20~30歲。年齡太小,沒什麼經濟基礎;年齡太大,可能已結婚,財政大權掌握在老婆手中。這類人,根本沒戲,恨不得反過來找我要錢。"
"那你每天能討多少錢。"我繼續問。

"週一到週五,生意差點,兩百塊左右吧。週末,甚至可以討到四、五百。"

"這麼多?"
見我有些懷疑,他給我算了一筆帳。
"和你們一樣,我也是每天工作 8 小時,上午
11 點到晚上 7 點,週末正常上班。我每乞討 1 次的時間大概為 5秒鐘,扣除來回走動和搜索目標的時間,大概1分鐘乞討 1 次得 1 塊錢, 8 個小時就是 480 塊,再乘以成功機率 60%[ ( 70%+50% )÷
2] ,得到將近300 塊。"


"千萬不能黏著客戶滿街跑。如果乞討不成,我決不死纏濫打。因為他若肯給錢的話早就給了,所以就算腆著臉糾纏,成功的機會還是很小。不能將有限的時間浪費在無施捨慾望的客戶身上,不如轉而尋找下一個目標。"


強!
這個乞丐聽上去真不可貌相,倒像是一位資深的市場營銷總監。

"你接著說。"我更感興趣了,看來今天能學到新的東西了。

"有人說做乞丐是靠運氣吃飯,我不以然。給你舉個例子,女人世界門口,一個帥氣的男生,一個漂亮的女孩,你選哪一個乞討?"

我想了想,說不知道。

"你應該去男的那兒。身邊就是美女,他不好意思不給。但你要去了女的那邊,她大可假裝害怕你遠遠地躲開。"

"再給你舉個例子。那天cocopark門口,一個年輕女孩,拿著一個購物袋,剛買完東西;還有一對青年男女,吃著冰淇淋;第三個是衣著考究的年輕男子,拿著筆記本包。我看一個人只要3秒鐘,我毫不猶豫地走到女孩面前乞討。女孩在袋子裡掏出兩個硬幣扔給我,並奇怪我為什麼只找她乞討。我回答說,那對情侶,在吃東西,不方便掏錢;那個男的是高級白領,身上可能沒有零錢;你剛從超市買東西出來,身上肯定有零錢。"

有道理!我越聽越有意思。

"所以我說,知識決定一切!"我聽十幾個總裁講過這句話,第一次聽乞丐也這麼說。

"要用科學的方法來乞討。天天躺在天橋上,怎麼能討到錢?走天橋的都是行色匆匆的路人,誰沒事走天橋玩,爬上爬下的多累。要用知識武裝自己,學習知識可以把一個人變得很聰明,聰明的人不斷學習知識就可以變成人才。
21世紀最需要的是什麼?就是人才。"

"有一次,一人給我50塊錢,讓我替他在樓下喊'安紅,我想你',喊100聲。我一合計,喊一聲得花5秒鐘,跟我乞討一次花費的時間相當,所得的酬勞才5毛錢,於是我拒絕了他。"

"在深圳,一般一個乞丐每月能討個千兒八百。運氣好時的大概兩千多點。全深圳十萬個乞丐,大概只有十個乞丐,每月能討到一萬以上。我就是這萬里挑一中的一個。而且很穩定,基本不會有很大的波動。"

太強了!我越發佩服這個乞丐了。

"我常說我是一個快樂的乞丐。其他乞丐說是因為我討的錢多,所以快樂。我對他們說,你們正好錯了。正是因為我有快樂、積極的心態,所以討的錢多。"

說的多好啊!

"乞討就是我的工作,要懂得體味工作帶來的樂趣。雨天人流稀少的時候,其他乞丐都在抱怨或者睡覺。千萬不要這樣,用心感受一下這坐城市的美。晚上下班後帶著老婆孩子逛街玩耍看夜景,一家三口其樂融,也不枉此生了。若是碰到同行,有時也會扔個硬幣,看著他們高興的道謝走開,就彷彿看見自己的身影。"

"你還有老婆孩子?"我不禁大聲讚歎,引來路人側目。

"我老婆在家做全職太太,孩子念小學。我在福田區按揭了一套房,十年分期,還差六年就還清了。我要努力掙錢,供我兒子讀大學念市場營銷專業,然後子承父業當一個比我更出色的乞丐。"

"我5年前在微硬中華大區做市場策劃,2年前升為營銷經理,月薪5千。那時按揭了一台1萬多的三星筆記本,每個月還款2千,要死要活的。後來我想這樣永遠也出不了頭,就辭職不干了,下海來做乞丐,我願意做一個高素質的乞丐。"

聽完,我激動地說:"你有沒有興趣收我做徒弟……"

Future terrorist attacks

> Juval Aviv was the Israeli Agent upon whom the movie ' Munich ' was
> based. He was Golda Meir's bodyguard -- she appointed him to track down
> and bring to justice the Palestinian terrorists who took the Israeli
> athletes hostage and killed them during the Munich Olympic Games.
>
> In a lecture in New York City a few weeks ago, he shared information
> that EVERY American needs to know -- but that our government has not
> yet shared with us.
>
> He predicted the London subway bombing on the Bill O'Reilly show on Fox
> News stating publicly that it would happen within a week. At the time,
> O'Reilly laughed and mocked him saying that in a week he wanted him
> back on the show. But, unfortunately, within a week the terrorist
> attack had occurred.
>
> Juval Aviv gave intelligence (via what he had gathered in Israel and
> the Middle East ) to the Bush Administration about 9/11 a month before
> it occurred. His report specifically said they would use planes as
> bombs and target high profile buildings and monuments. Congress has
> since hired him as a security consultant.
>
> Now for his future predictions. He predicts the next terrorist attack
> on the U.S. Will occur within the next few months.
>
> Forget hijacking airplanes, because he says terrorists will NEVER try
> and hijack a plane again as they know the people onboard will never go
> down quietly again. Aviv believes our airport security is a joke --
> that we have been reactionary rather than proactive in developing
> strategies that are truly effective.
>
> For example:
>
> 1) Our airport technology is outdated. We look for metal, and the new
> explosives are made of plastic.
>
> 2) He talked about how some idiot tried to light his shoe on fire.
> Because of that, now everyone has to take off their shoes. A group of
> idiots tried to bring aboard liquid explosives.. Now we can't bring
> liquids on board. He says he's waiting for some suicidal maniac to
> pour liquid explosive on his underwear; at which point, security will
> have us all traveling naked! Every strategy we have is reactionary.
>
> 3) We only focus on security when people are heading to the gates.
>
> Aviv says that if a terrorist attack targets airports in the future,
> they will target busy times on the front end of the airport when/where
> people are checking in. It would be easy for someone to take two
> suitcases of explosives, walk up to a busy check-in line, ask a person
> next to them to watch their bags for a minute while they run to the
> restroom or get a Drink, and then detonate the bags BEFORE security
> even gets involved.
>
> In Israel , security checks bags BEFORE people can even ENTER the airport.
>
> Aviv says the next terrorist attack here in America is imminent and
> will involve suicide bombers and non-suicide bombers in places where
> large groups of people congregate. (I. E., Disneyland, Las Vegas
> casinos, big cities ( New York , San Francisco , Chicago , etc...) and that
> it will also include shopping malls, subways in rush hour, train
> stations, etc., as well as rural America this time ( Wyoming , Montana ,
> etc.).
>
> The attack will be characterized by simultaneous detonations around the
> country (terrorists like big impact), involving at least 5-8 cities,
> including rural areas.
>
> Aviv says terrorists won't need to use suicide bombers in many of the
> larger cities, because at places like the MGM Grand in Las Vegas ,
> they can simply valet park a car loaded with explosives and walk away.
>
> Aviv says all of the above is well known in intelligence circles, but
> that our U. S. Government does not want to 'alarm American citizens'
> with the facts. The world is quickly going to become 'a different
> place', and issues like 'global warming' and political correctness will
> become totally irrelevant.
>
> On an encouraging note, he says that Americans don't have to be
> concerned about being nuked. Aviv says the terrorists who want to
> destroy America will not use sophisticated weapons. They like
> to use suicide as a front-line approach. It's cheap, it's easy, it's
> effective; and they have an infinite abundance of young militants more
> than willing to 'meet their destiny'.
>
> He also says the next level of terrorists, over which America should
> be most concerned, will not be coming from abroad. But will be,
> instead, 'homegrown' -- having attended and been educated in our own
> schools and universities right here in the U.. S. He says to look for
> 'students' who frequently travel back and forth to the Middle East .
> These young terrorists will be most dangerous because they will know
> our language and will fully understand the habits of Americans; but
> that we Americans won't know/understand a thing about them.
>
> Aviv says that, as a people, Americans are unaware and uneducated about
> the terrorist threats we will, inevitably, face. America still has only
> have a handful of Arabic and Farsi speaking people in our intelligence
> networks, and Aviv says it is critical that we change that fact SOON.
>
> So, what can America do to protect itself? From an intelligence
> perspective, Aviv says the U.S. needs to stop relying on satellites and
> technology for intelligence. We need to, instead, follow Israel 's,
> Ireland 's and England 's hands-on examples of human intelligence, both
> from an infiltration perspective as well as to trust 'aware' citizens
> to help. We need to engage and educate ourselves as citizens; however,
> our U. S. government continues to treat us, its citizens, 'like
> babies'. Our government thinks we 'can't handle the truth' and are
> concerned that we'll panic if we understand the realities of terrorism.
> Aviv says this is a deadly mistake.
>
> Aviv recently created/executed a security test for our Congress, by
> placing an empty briefcase in five well-traveled spots in five major
> cities. The results? Not one person called 911 or sought a policeman to
> check it out. In fact, in Chicago , someone tried to steal the briefcase!
>
> In comparison, Aviv says that citizens of Israel are so well 'trained'
> that an unattended bag or package would be reported in seconds by
> citizen(s) who know to publicly shout, 'Unattended Bag!' The area would
> be quickly & calmly cleared by the citizens themselves. But,
> unfortunately, America hasn't been yet 'hurt enough' by terrorism for
> their government to fully understand the need to educate its citizens
> or for the government to understand that it's their citizens who are,
> inevitably, the best first-line of defense against terrorism.
>
> Aviv also was concerned about the high number of children here in
> America who were in preschool and kindergarten after 9/11, who were
> 'lost' without parents being able to pick them up, and about our
> schools that had no plan in place to best care for the students until
> parents could get there. (In New York City , this was days, in some
> cases!)
>
> He stresses the importance of having a plan, that's agreed upon within
> your family, to respond to in the event of a terrorist emergency. He
> urges parents to contact their children's schools and demand that the
> schools, too, develop plans of actions, as they do in Israel .
>
> Does your family know what to do if you can't contact one another by
> phone? Where would you gather in an emergency? He says we should all
> have a plan that is easy enough for even our youngest children to
> remember and follow..
>
> Aviv says that the U. S. government has in force a plan that, in the
> event of another terrorist attack, will immediately cut-off EVERYONE's
> ability to use cell phones, blackberries, etc., as this is the
> preferred communication source used by terrorists and is often the way
> that their bombs are detonated...
>
> How will you communicate with your loved ones in the event you cannot
> speak? You need to have a plan...
>
> If you believe what you have just read, then you must feel compelled to
> send to every concerned parent or guardian, grandparents, uncles,
> aunts, whatever and whomever. Nothing will happen if you choose not to
> do so, but in the event it does happen, this particular email will
> haunt you...."I should have sent this to..... ", but I didn't believe it
> and just deleted it as so much trash from old Bill Jones!!!
>

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Dear John.

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with the neighbor's daughter!

I am 32, my husband is 34 and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling, and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Shiela

Dear Shiela
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
John

Newspaper link

Click her for any newspaper