入黨 ( 這個好笑 )

新婚之夜，新郎輕撫著新娘的重點部位、問新娘：
『這地方我應該怎麼稱呼？是叫私處？還是應該叫 ....？』

新娘正言道：

『都不對，這叫黨！這就是最偉大的黨！從今天起，你要懂得黨的原則是什麼？』

1、只要你夠硬，黨的大門隨時為你敞開

2、黨的宗旨是忠誠；入了黨，就不能入別的黨；

3、你除了對黨要忠誠，還要保證對黨的純潔；

4、不要入黨前幹勁十足，入黨後鬆懈無力；

5、你要尊重黨，愛戴黨！時刻聽從黨召喚；

6、遵守黨的紀律，還要堅定不移地完成黨要你完 成的任務；

7、更不要忘記按照黨的要求，定時足額繳納黨費。

How to pee

> During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
> asked her students the following question:
> 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
> how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
>
> Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
> The teacher responded by saying,
> 'That would be rude and impolite.
>
> What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
> Sherman said,
> 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back.'
>
> 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at
> the
> dinner table.
> And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
> good manners?'
>
> 'I would say Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?
> I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine,
> whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
>
> The teacher fainted.
>

Man's POV

Isn't it the truth though!! The Man Rules. At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good)


We always hear 'the rules' From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side


These are our rules! Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports; It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FISHING or hunting.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a
bigger laugh.

08年獲獎小小說:《好懸》（僅40餘字）

老王提前下班回家，
發現老婆和單位書記偷情，
嚇得老王趕緊跑回單位。
歎道：好懸，差點被領導發現早退！
《好懸》姐妹篇《原諒》：
老王知妻與領導不軌，
怒找領導妻，
領導妻氣極：咱們上床報復他倆。
事畢領導妻：我還氣，再報復一次！
一連三次，老王跪倒趴下告饒：求求你了，我已經原諒他們了

《好懸》姐妹篇《和解》：
老王回家和妻攤牌，妻說：
偷腥之後方知還是原裝的好！
老王激動地抱住妻說：同感！

Tony adds:
- Moral of the story: punctuality is a virtue - too early and too late both are not good.
- Mr Wong got a bad deal as his boss's wife is older (however, all cats are black when you turn off the light), unless he got a promotion/bonus.
- All four were rewarded with extra excitement for 'thinking out of the box.'