Please do not liberate my country. I understand your energy, good nature and idealism. I was the same when I was at your age. I hope you’re there to protest for China when your ancestors pushed opium to China. It is history that the Britain’s evil parliament approved to send warships to enforce the opium trade to China.
First, thanks you all. Now, I’m a naturalized US citizen collecting generous welfare benefits. You do not understand how my life has been improved staying here. Just imagine living in the highest mountain in your country year round.
There are always folks wanting to be kings and queens. They have their ambitions and revolutionary ideas. The last ones went to India after the failed revolt sponsored by CIA. Please let me know who sponsor today’s Tibetan movements – not seem to be a Mickey Mouse production. They do not speak for the common folks who just want a peaceful life.
News on Tibet must feed a lot of reporters in the west but hurt their conscience. Some are not true. The recent Tibetan riot was started when Han Chinese were murdered but was reported wrongly with photos that were bought and modified to indicate it was the other way round. To be fair, Chinese reporters are no angels.
The Chinese will not give up Tibet. It is the major water source for most of Asia. We get more from the Chinese than giving back. How many territories within a country become independent? Our standard of living improves substantially and so is our literacy rate.
The new train and the proposed 750 small dams to generate electricity are recent gifts. I bet the extraction of natural Chinese will improve our living standard further. It is the same as opening a casino in an Indian reservation. The benefits outnumber the drawbacks.
China had been ruled by Mongolians and Manchurians. We’re one of the 55 minorities, same as the blacks in your country or the Quebec French in Canada. Dali Lama must be the best salesman on earth with the circus of silly and most likely uneducated Hollywood celebrities - most of them approved Polanski in raping a 13 year girl. If there were one like him for Mongolia, one for Manchuria, you guys will be busy for a long while.
Unless you can convince your congress to send soldiers to ‘liberate’ us, please do not stir up our rebellious sentiment towards the Chinese. The more you do, the more our folks suffer and ‘disappear’.
Spend your energy elsewhere. The choices are unlimited: CEOs enjoying outrageous benefits/bonuses from companies receiving bailouts, or killing Iraqi children in a war you cannot afford. Hope you folks can find the mass destruction weapon in Iraq some days.
Everywhere in China, you see Tibetan cultures have been maintained – different from what your ‘reporters’ report. All the minorities have been exempted from the one-child policy. Check out this link. Do they look oppressed to you?
It sounds like propaganda. I want you to know that I have no connection with the Chinese government. Your action on the wheel-chair torch bearer for Olympic showed the world how barbarous and coward you are.
I just want to be realistic and the world at least my world will be more peaceful without your demonstrations. I wrote the above from the mind of a silent majority of Tibetans.
Showing posts with label Original satire.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Original satire.. Show all posts
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
* Chinaman for president
I promise every citizen will have a couch and unlimited supply of potato chip. Here are my solutions to all our problems.
Federal deficit. No more foreign invasion like Iraq. Enough billions will be saved to fulfill my above promise for many generations to come!
Trade deficit. Sell every missile, atomic bomb and carrier to China as we do not need them any more. Make the Chinese promise not to use them against us, or we can change the GPS to reroute all the missiles back to Beijing.
Economy. Only bail out greedy companies as greed is good. How hard to speed up the money printing machine? Or, borrow more from China. No money, no import.
Human rights. No gun for our citizens. If that Chinese had an AK 45 in the Beijing Olympic incidence, imagine how many would be killed. Learn from the human right lovers.
Illegal immigrants. When caught, send them to Alaska for the hardest labor on earth. I bet even the dumbest Mexican will not come here illegally. Problem solved. The nice guy I pay pennies to clean up my yard is the only exception.
Education. Just import some smart, young, educated Chinese that they have plenty to spare. Why spend billions to produce mediocre college graduates who cannot count from 1 to 12 (unless they have 12 fingers)?
Social welfare. All welfare cheaters including all politicians will be sent to China for re-education. Cheap and effective.
Obesity. The more walking refrigerators we have, the wealthier we look. Feel sorry for the skinny Chinese suffering from malnutrition.
Medical Delivery. You do not pay, you die. Crude but very effective way to encourage you to work hard, save, small government, and do not blame all your problems on others.
Permissibility. Encourage teenage pregnancy - our politicians set up great examples. There will be more under-aged gymnasts to choose from.
Social security. Import more young foreigners for jobs, hence contributing to social security. Encourage old citizens to die early to reduce the draw from the pot by giving them unlimited supply of Viagra, alcohol…
Politicians. They tell you what you want to hear: no income tax, bailout, rebate checks, and free medical delivery. They think you’re stupid enough not to ask “where the money comes from”.
This message is approved (as all dumb politicians with no creativity would say) by your friendly Chinese government, who wants you buy more couches and potato chips.
----
Original satire
Federal deficit. No more foreign invasion like Iraq. Enough billions will be saved to fulfill my above promise for many generations to come!
Trade deficit. Sell every missile, atomic bomb and carrier to China as we do not need them any more. Make the Chinese promise not to use them against us, or we can change the GPS to reroute all the missiles back to Beijing.
Economy. Only bail out greedy companies as greed is good. How hard to speed up the money printing machine? Or, borrow more from China. No money, no import.
Human rights. No gun for our citizens. If that Chinese had an AK 45 in the Beijing Olympic incidence, imagine how many would be killed. Learn from the human right lovers.
Illegal immigrants. When caught, send them to Alaska for the hardest labor on earth. I bet even the dumbest Mexican will not come here illegally. Problem solved. The nice guy I pay pennies to clean up my yard is the only exception.
Education. Just import some smart, young, educated Chinese that they have plenty to spare. Why spend billions to produce mediocre college graduates who cannot count from 1 to 12 (unless they have 12 fingers)?
Social welfare. All welfare cheaters including all politicians will be sent to China for re-education. Cheap and effective.
Obesity. The more walking refrigerators we have, the wealthier we look. Feel sorry for the skinny Chinese suffering from malnutrition.
Medical Delivery. You do not pay, you die. Crude but very effective way to encourage you to work hard, save, small government, and do not blame all your problems on others.
Permissibility. Encourage teenage pregnancy - our politicians set up great examples. There will be more under-aged gymnasts to choose from.
Social security. Import more young foreigners for jobs, hence contributing to social security. Encourage old citizens to die early to reduce the draw from the pot by giving them unlimited supply of Viagra, alcohol…
Politicians. They tell you what you want to hear: no income tax, bailout, rebate checks, and free medical delivery. They think you’re stupid enough not to ask “where the money comes from”.
This message is approved (as all dumb politicians with no creativity would say) by your friendly Chinese government, who wants you buy more couches and potato chips.
----
Original satire
** China, the human right lover
* Contrary to popular belief, it is a fact.
30 years ago, many Chinese died of starvation, did not have a roof over their heads…
Not any more now.
Are these the basic human rights?
* Why you’re lied to.
The media wants to create controversy to sell their stuffs.
The politician wants to establish a common enemy, so you ignore more important problems that they cannot fix.
The offense companies have more reason to expand.
They all assume you are stupid and cannot analyze.
* Why US is human right violator.
How many we killed and how many Chinese killed abroad last year?
How many innocent people we have to kill in Iraq before we stop?
How many national guards are sent to the killing field against their will??
Should we destroy another country accusing them to have ‘mass destruction weapons’?
Why it is OK for us to own nuclear weapons that can destroy the entire world with a push of a button?
How many citizens die of obesity as we encourage “good” food?
How many poor remain to be poor for generations due to our generous welfare system?
How many our children are killed every year due to our lack of gun control law?
Gun control is not even an issue for both political parties.
How many teenage mothers we encourage starting from the top politicians?
How many Indians stay in their reservation forever and got drunk by not providing them with jobs?
How we use up the world’s oil and blame China who uses less than ¼ of ours per capita?
In addition, a good portion of China’s oil is used to manufacture our stuffs that we do not really need.
How we blame China for military expenditure while ours is 10 times theirs?
How we encourage our citizens to spend on credit and buy houses we cannot afford until the entire financial system collapses?
When special interest groups donate millions to politicians, how can they make unbiased decisions for us?
Protesting child labor abuse (or prisoner labor abuse) is just ridiculous if that job means the only meal for the child for the entire day.
The list is endless.
China has its own problems and we have our own. Let each work on her problems and we’ll have a better world.
Your yardstick is good for your country but not mine, and China’s yardstick is comparing China 30 years ago. It is laughable to use the yardstick of a developed country (US) to measure a developing country (China), and vice versa. Depending on which yardstick you’re using, China could be a human right lover and US a violator – that could sound funny!
30 years ago, many Chinese died of starvation, did not have a roof over their heads…
Not any more now.
Are these the basic human rights?
* Why you’re lied to.
The media wants to create controversy to sell their stuffs.
The politician wants to establish a common enemy, so you ignore more important problems that they cannot fix.
The offense companies have more reason to expand.
They all assume you are stupid and cannot analyze.
* Why US is human right violator.
How many we killed and how many Chinese killed abroad last year?
How many innocent people we have to kill in Iraq before we stop?
How many national guards are sent to the killing field against their will??
Should we destroy another country accusing them to have ‘mass destruction weapons’?
Why it is OK for us to own nuclear weapons that can destroy the entire world with a push of a button?
How many citizens die of obesity as we encourage “good” food?
How many poor remain to be poor for generations due to our generous welfare system?
How many our children are killed every year due to our lack of gun control law?
Gun control is not even an issue for both political parties.
How many teenage mothers we encourage starting from the top politicians?
How many Indians stay in their reservation forever and got drunk by not providing them with jobs?
How we use up the world’s oil and blame China who uses less than ¼ of ours per capita?
In addition, a good portion of China’s oil is used to manufacture our stuffs that we do not really need.
How we blame China for military expenditure while ours is 10 times theirs?
How we encourage our citizens to spend on credit and buy houses we cannot afford until the entire financial system collapses?
When special interest groups donate millions to politicians, how can they make unbiased decisions for us?
Protesting child labor abuse (or prisoner labor abuse) is just ridiculous if that job means the only meal for the child for the entire day.
The list is endless.
China has its own problems and we have our own. Let each work on her problems and we’ll have a better world.
Your yardstick is good for your country but not mine, and China’s yardstick is comparing China 30 years ago. It is laughable to use the yardstick of a developed country (US) to measure a developing country (China), and vice versa. Depending on which yardstick you’re using, China could be a human right lover and US a violator – that could sound funny!
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