A beautiful and single social worker went to a senior housing to preach the importance of SEX.
She asked how many had sex this week. Half of the guys raised their hands and a quarter of the ladies smiling (question: why it did not add up). Then, how many in a month. Fewer hands. Then and then, how many in last 3 months. Fewer and fewer hands.
Finally, she asked how many only had sex once in a year. No one. Then a short old guy at the back raised his hand and jumped up and down excitedly.
The lady asked, "Why are you so excited?"
The little guy said, "Today is the day and I'm looking for a partner."
The lady, a Christian and a former girl scout, finally had to do the good deed of the day.
Showing posts with label Reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reality. Show all posts
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
The anatomy of a joke
The anatomy of a joke.
You (assuming you’re older than 11) only laugh at something that is unusual like:
- ridiculously exaggerated
- body (female and male) parts we do not discuss/show normally – unless you have something better than the average. 
- words with double meaning
…
So, about 30% of the jokes are about sex. If you do not believe me, turn on the cable TV tonight, count and classify the jokes. Let me know your result tomorrow.
If you're less than 11, please get off from your parents' PC and go back to your homework.
-----------------
Here is one good example of a good joke. In addition to most that satisfy the criteria, it is brief and effective.
We were supposed to have 8″ of snow in Boston, but no snow. The beautiful but naive anchor lady asked the weather man, “Hi Bill, what happened to the 8″ you promised me last night?” The whole staff in the set laughed so loud that they’ve to go on commercial for the next hour.
Cities of dreams or nightmares?
Did Hong Kong benefit from colonial government?
Click here and then Boston Globe for full article and comments.
Click here and then Boston Globe for full article and comments.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Effective health care delivery
-- Effective health care delivery --
* Basic treatments for all. Better coverage is paid by individual. We encourage folks to work hard and there is no more free lunch. The government can spend an agreed % of GNP on public health care.
* Prevention: voluntary and non-voluntary (via taxes) on smoking, fast food...
* Limit lawsuit award on malpractice.
* State-of-the-art treatments are less effective than prevention such as a low-dosage aspirin for all over 50 years of age.
* Outsourcing expensive treatments to foreign countries and drug development/clinical tests.
* Cut down expensive drug marketing (like giving money/goodies to doctors).
* Stop illegals and foreigners from using our medical systems free.
Import foreign doctors and nurses is the worst we can do to a poor country.
Before we send soldiers abroad or explore space, should we solve our home problems such as health care first?
* Basic treatments for all. Better coverage is paid by individual. We encourage folks to work hard and there is no more free lunch. The government can spend an agreed % of GNP on public health care.
* Prevention: voluntary and non-voluntary (via taxes) on smoking, fast food...
* Limit lawsuit award on malpractice.
* State-of-the-art treatments are less effective than prevention such as a low-dosage aspirin for all over 50 years of age.
* Outsourcing expensive treatments to foreign countries and drug development/clinical tests.
* Cut down expensive drug marketing (like giving money/goodies to doctors).
* Stop illegals and foreigners from using our medical systems free.
Import foreign doctors and nurses is the worst we can do to a poor country.
Before we send soldiers abroad or explore space, should we solve our home problems such as health care first?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Crazy Ben in China
Many of you have stories about your tough jobs. Here is one about an American working for a labor job in China for the experience.
http://benross.net/wordpress/barbershop-project/
It seems to be a modern Peace Corp job in China. The valuable experience could last for life and sth Ben can proudly tell his grandchildren.
My own experience as a laborer.
My grandchildren will never understand what I did for a buck. However, it is not bad at all and trained me to be a better man (becoming penny pincher and be careful about false advertising). My college mate (also from HK) told me there was a farm job opened today with a lot of beautiful Mexican girls (an obvious trap). After washing up and making myself look sharp, we rushed in for the job just before sun rise. No pretty ladies for sure, or they’re all hiding from me (could be my bad reputation).
http://benross.net/wordpress/barbershop-project/
It seems to be a modern Peace Corp job in China. The valuable experience could last for life and sth Ben can proudly tell his grandchildren.
My own experience as a laborer.
My grandchildren will never understand what I did for a buck. However, it is not bad at all and trained me to be a better man (becoming penny pincher and be careful about false advertising). My college mate (also from HK) told me there was a farm job opened today with a lot of beautiful Mexican girls (an obvious trap). After washing up and making myself look sharp, we rushed in for the job just before sun rise. No pretty ladies for sure, or they’re all hiding from me (could be my bad reputation).
We had to pick oranges to fill up a crate taller than I. After 4 hours of tough labor in temperature over 90, we’re all exhausted (kids from middle class HK never labor) and every one got about $1. With the $1, we went to a Swedish buffet, ate all the chicken wings we could and piled up the entire table with chicken bones. Sorry for the restaurant owner. Next time when he saw us coming, he would close the restaurant temporarily.
End of hard labor for me in this life. 
An orange never looks the same to me from then on.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Brick for you violators
Click here for the funny scene in China.
Quite funny! Did not surprise me at all. I saw a motor cyclist was beaten up badly by pedestrians.
Glad they’re not US citizens. Otherwise, they would be shot. Or in Tehran, otherwise they would be bombed.
Is it class conflict (those who have and those who do not) or age conflict (old folks jealous of young folks) or political conflict (left way against right way)?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Chinese spying
When we adopt a country, we need to be faithful to her. Spying could be the worst crime to your adopted country.
The motives and consequences.
1. It gives Chinese immigrants and ABC bad names (a joke hiring a ABC as security head for a defense contractor).
2. Many jobs with security classification may not be opened to us and our children.
3. It is not ethical and how can the violators sleep.
4. If money is the motive, he/she should be prosecuted to the highest extend. There are cases like the one prosecuted for stealing the soundless submarine for China.
5. If it is dumb nationalism, his/her minds should be 'adjusted' and punished.
6. If s/he is a spy, it should be handled according to international spy law. I'm not saying CIA is not a spy organization.
There are exception cases. Sometimes I feel Chinese are prosecuted more than other nationals.
Chien, the rocket scientist, was a victim of American witch hunt of communists. I do not blame him that much and glad that China could get some valuable hands-on experience. My two cents.
The motives and consequences.
1. It gives Chinese immigrants and ABC bad names (a joke hiring a ABC as security head for a defense contractor).
2. Many jobs with security classification may not be opened to us and our children.
3. It is not ethical and how can the violators sleep.
4. If money is the motive, he/she should be prosecuted to the highest extend. There are cases like the one prosecuted for stealing the soundless submarine for China.
5. If it is dumb nationalism, his/her minds should be 'adjusted' and punished.
6. If s/he is a spy, it should be handled according to international spy law. I'm not saying CIA is not a spy organization.
There are exception cases. Sometimes I feel Chinese are prosecuted more than other nationals.
Chien, the rocket scientist, was a victim of American witch hunt of communists. I do not blame him that much and glad that China could get some valuable hands-on experience. My two cents.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Permissibility
This is my theory of permissibility (for lack of a better term). When a country is getting too rich, she tends to be more permissible. US has a lot of examples:
* Obesity, drug, liquor abuse are acceptable in the society. Drunk drivers have mild punishment - the jurors (drunk themselves) let them go easy. Actors with drug abuse are still be idolized. The society needs to adapt to fat folks like wider seats in the air planes and buses instead of eating healthier food and doing more exercise.
* Failed businesses are not allowed to fail by bailout money.
* Instead of training our kids to harder education in science, just hire foreigners.
* Encourage folks to be lazy. If you have a job at McDonald's, you are not qualified to free medical delivery. Encourage 3 generations of teenage mothers by our generous social system. Hire foreigners for jobs no one wants to do as total compensation will be less if s/he works.
* We encourage to borrow money and spend like no tomorrow. With less taxes due to less employment and less income from corporations, we just print more money, and/or borrow more from our trader partners, even they're many times poorer than us.
* How easy to blame all our problems on others than ourselves? China should spend more, buy more from us, float their currency... and learn our bad habits!
On the bright side, most US problems can be fixed easily compared to most other countries. It is still a rich country in term of natural resources/farm land per capita. We need to tighten our belt and not to fight wars we cannot afford. Let them fight for their own freedom.
* Obesity, drug, liquor abuse are acceptable in the society. Drunk drivers have mild punishment - the jurors (drunk themselves) let them go easy. Actors with drug abuse are still be idolized. The society needs to adapt to fat folks like wider seats in the air planes and buses instead of eating healthier food and doing more exercise.
* Failed businesses are not allowed to fail by bailout money.
* Instead of training our kids to harder education in science, just hire foreigners.
* Encourage folks to be lazy. If you have a job at McDonald's, you are not qualified to free medical delivery. Encourage 3 generations of teenage mothers by our generous social system. Hire foreigners for jobs no one wants to do as total compensation will be less if s/he works.
* We encourage to borrow money and spend like no tomorrow. With less taxes due to less employment and less income from corporations, we just print more money, and/or borrow more from our trader partners, even they're many times poorer than us.
* How easy to blame all our problems on others than ourselves? China should spend more, buy more from us, float their currency... and learn our bad habits!
On the bright side, most US problems can be fixed easily compared to most other countries. It is still a rich country in term of natural resources/farm land per capita. We need to tighten our belt and not to fight wars we cannot afford. Let them fight for their own freedom.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Backup, backup...
It is part of the e-mail I replied to my friend John W. when his son's PC with the MS thesis died.
Prevention is better than all the works after disaster such as:
1. I have a cheap UBS drive (120GB) to backup once a month (sometimes earlier and sometimes longer depending on how important and how many new files I have). It is good to exchange files between different PCs. The newer ones are cheaper (by cost per GB) and smaller.
2. Open a gmail (or other provider) e-mail account and send yourself files you need to back up.
You should have security protection for some files like tax returns - I'm guilty of not doing a better job myself. When your computer dies, the disk drive could still survive. That's what happened to the famous HK movie star who had all the sexy pictures with his famous playmates publicized.
Prevention is better than all the works after disaster such as:
1. I have a cheap UBS drive (120GB) to backup once a month (sometimes earlier and sometimes longer depending on how important and how many new files I have). It is good to exchange files between different PCs. The newer ones are cheaper (by cost per GB) and smaller.
2. Open a gmail (or other provider) e-mail account and send yourself files you need to back up.
You should have security protection for some files like tax returns - I'm guilty of not doing a better job myself. When your computer dies, the disk drive could still survive. That's what happened to the famous HK movie star who had all the sexy pictures with his famous playmates publicized.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
5.12 Earthquake Anniversary
China has more than its share of disasters, natural and man-made. From recent history, we have farmer army turned to killers/rapers in the end of Ming, then the opium pushers from the west, the war criminals from Japan in WW2, Mao’s disasters and two major earthquakes.
This one demonstrates China can survive better than before. We need to prepare for the next disaster. Enforce building codes at a reasonable cost.
Special thanks to our schoolmate Malcolm who went to the disaster area to help and all who donated.
Here are 2 of the many links to very powerful, emotional pictures.
click here for link #1
click here for link #2
Click here for carton.
Click here for a good story to show human spirit.
Click here for another emotional story.
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Hi Ding Bai,
Wow! Just one day, you learn a lot about the rest of US outside your NYC village. Welcome to America finally!
(Please see the refreshing post by Ding Bai above)
Prejudice and ignorance come hand-in-hand and your experience is a living proof of that. I do not blame the old generation in an isolated part of US as their image of a Chinaman is some one with a pigtail working in railroad, laundry or a Chinese restaurant that serves cat meat.
Denny’s had a poor reputation in racial harmony. They suffered from a lawsuit of not serving black and lost. They never learn. I skip going to Denny’s for life even for their free breakfasts!
A Chinese professor at U. Mass. at Amhert wrote in the college newspaper 35 years ago, “If you do not believe a Chinese can teach in college, please come to room 1234 in Engineering Building.”
I have my share of discrimination experience:
* When I was in beautiful Calgary 25 years ago with my American female co-worker in the annual Stampede Festival, every one starred at us like we’re UFOs.
* After I got the highest award in my department, some managers treated me very rudely and had a lot racial remarks on me behind my back – and the remarks came back to me (intentionally?). My work place was a phone company in Mass. with a lot of uneducated Irish playing politics all day long.
* I never play my Chinese card except once. When I got a bad table (even I was the first one in) in a Vegas show. It could due to no tips to the guy leading me to a table but it could be racially motivated. They’re scared to hell when I shouted for seeing their supervisor and they gave me the best table. I could have too many drinks and that scared my wife. From then no, no more Mr. Nice guys to racists.