超有深度的作文

老師讓同學回家後寫一篇有關「國家」、「黨」、「社會」和「人民」的作文。

小明不理解這些詞的含義，就去問爸爸。爸爸告訴他：

「國家是最大的，就像你奶奶，黨是最有權利的，是一家之主，就像我。

社會就是為黨和國家幹活，還得聽黨的，就像你媽媽。

人民就是最小的，說什麼也沒人聽，就像你。」

晚飯後，小明想寫作文，可是還不是很明白這些事，就去想問奶奶， 可是奶奶已經睡了。

小明去找爸媽，爸爸和媽媽正忙著「床上運動」，爸爸一看他來，兩個耳刮子就給打出來了。小明沒有辦，

只好抹抹眼淚，回房間自己寫作文了。

第二天，爸爸接到老師的電話：

「你是小明的父親吧！」

「是啊，什麼事？」

關於小明的作文

「是寫的不好嗎？」
「不，是寫的太好了，我懷疑不是他自己寫的！」

「他寫了什麼？」

小明的作文寫：

「國家已沉睡，黨在玩社會，社會在呻吟，人民在流淚。」

Q & A

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperm can at least enjoy the scenery even if their entry is restricted!
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Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married men not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...

New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women.

Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... Tomorrow you'll have to do it again.

Q: What will happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary every day and women will bleed to death.

Q: Why are 90% of girls' left boobs bigger than their right?
A: Because 90% of boys are right handed.

Q: What is the difference between UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... It is SHOWTIME!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later

Advantages of having an affair with a married woman.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise ...
Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Onions and Christmas Trees

ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs:

In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard.

In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch,
flexible but reliable.

After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just for decoration.'

Sex, loyalty and righteousness

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS................... The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.' Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to 'Think Outside of the Box.' HOWEVER...., The correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers. God, I just love happy endings!