Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there's no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Lee Majors


After marriage, husband and wife become 2 sides of a coin; they just can't face each other but still they stay together.
Al Gore


By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates


Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson


The great question which I haven't been able to answer is, "What does a woman want?"
George Clooney


I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton


Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant 2 times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W Bush


I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for 2 years.
Rudy Giuliani


There's a way of transferring funds that's even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Michael Jordan


I've had bad luck with all my wives. The 1st one left me and the 2nd one didn’t. The 3rd gave me more children!
Donald Trump

2 secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1) Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2) Whenever you're right, shut up. Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received 100 letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt

1st Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" 2nd Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel

"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today because a lady went first!"
David Letterman

1st there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, soon after comes suffering!
Jay Leno