Proof: Girls are Evils

Proof that girls are evil:

1. We state that girls require time and money, so
Girls = Time * Money

2. We all know "time is money", so
Time = Money

3. So,
Girls = Money * Money

4. Money is the root of all evils.
Money = square root "evil"
Evil = Money * Money

5. From #3. and #4
Girl = Evil

How a marriage works

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. Philip, the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.


So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife.


'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan ,
India , etc.


The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lollypop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'


'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't f*** ing going anywhere! Got it, A**hole?'

So, he stayed home............
........and, they lived happily ever after...


Now, isn't that a sweet story?

Happy Anniversery?

A married couple in their early 60's were celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.....

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!....the husband became 93 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful b***ds should remember fairies are female.....

Neologism Contest

Neologism Contest

Once again, we publish the winning submissions to the yearly neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over
by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when
you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.

PLUS

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word
from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter,
and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high..

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

The rabbi is leaving

At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he
was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him
more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave,
because he is so popular.


Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline , stands up and proclaims "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says,

"If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and
establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his
children!"

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy
lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"

Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replied "Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help, and he said: "Fuck him."

YouTube

Amazing miniature train

心絞痛徵兆………………..

中年媽媽運動時牙齦痛 竟是心絞痛徵兆 文�畧祖閉�
50歲的陳媽媽是家庭主婦，身材很標準、看起來很年輕，除了有高血壓外，並沒有其他疾病。而且她非常注重飲食養生，不菸、不酒，每天都有運動的習慣。
但 是，最近陳媽媽卻發現，早上慢跑時牙齦會痛，假日和先生去爬山，沒有多久，牙齦也會痛，只好提早回家休息。先生勸她去看牙科，可是陳媽媽從小就怕牙醫，所 以，當她去看她的家庭醫師時，順道告訴醫師最近發生的這些情形。沒想到醫師很謹慎告訴她：「趕快去看心臟專科醫師，請醫師幫您做詳細的檢查。」
陳媽媽回家後告訴先生，陳先生半信半疑說：「牙痛怎麼會看心臟科呢？」陳媽媽說：「但是醫師是很嚴肅地建議我趕快去看耶！不是開玩笑喔！」隔天夫妻倆一起到心臟科門診求診。
醫師聽完陳媽媽的敘述後，告訴她：「陳太太，我建議您住院安排做心導管檢查，您的牙齦痛應該是『心絞痛引起的反射性疼痛』。」
經過心導管檢查果然發現，陳媽媽的心臟有3條血管阻塞，而且還有多處阻塞的情形，因此醫師建議陳媽媽接受心臟冠狀動脈血管繞道手術；她在手術後，恢復良好。
大多數人對「心絞痛」症狀的認識是：胸悶、胸前劇痛、盜冷汗。其實，心絞痛的症狀還有：手麻、肩胛骨（後肩膀）痛、下巴（或牙齦）痛、麻，而這些症狀都稱為反射性疼痛。
容易罹患心血管疾病的危險因子除了高血壓、高血脂、糖尿病、抽菸、肥胖者外，年齡（40歲以上）、停經後婦女、有家族史者，亦都是罹患心血管疾病的高危險群。
（作者為行政院衛生署台中醫院護理師）

關於心臟病發作
除左胳膊痛苦以外.心臟病發作會有其他症狀:如下巴會劇痛，以及噁心和盜汗，然而這些症狀也許並不常常發生。
注意：心臟病發作期間，可能不會有胸口的痛苦。多數人(大約60%)在他們的睡眠期間心臟病發作，因而沒有醒來。 然而，胸口痛也許會讓您從您的熟睡中醒來。 如果這樣，立刻咬碎二阿斯匹靈在您的嘴中並且與水吞下他們。
之後，給鄰居或居住非常近的家庭成員打電話 -說; " 心臟病發作! 已吞了2顆阿斯匹靈。"
然後坐在前門附近的椅子或沙發上，並且等待人們的到來~絕不能再躺下來~
心臟科醫師聲明，如果每個人，在收到這電子郵件以後，送給10個人，大概會有一個人的生命能被保存!

Western vs Chinese medicine

Sensible Chinese!!

While in China , an Australian man was very sexually promiscuous and did not use a condom at all.

A week after arriving back home in Sydney , he woke one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots. Horrified, he immediately went to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results. The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, 'I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.'

The man looked a little perplexed and said: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'

The doctor answered: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'

The man screamed in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.'

The doctor replied: 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.'

The next day the man found a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'd know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examined his penis and proclaimed, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.'

The guy said to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My Australian doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'

The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed. 'Stupid Australian doctor, always want to operate.. Make more money that way. No need to operate!'

'Oh, Thank God!' the man replied.

'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself!'

songs

Mother! China. Music

生薑就是「還魂」藥

English summary: ginger is good for your health

掃寒涼全無敵--生薑就是「還魂」藥

中醫世界│首頁 作者：馬悅凌 生 薑祛病保健的方法由來已久。早在春秋時代，孔子就有一年四季不離薑的習慣，在《論語。鄉黨》中有：「不撤薑食，不多食」之說。南宋朱熹在《論語集注》中 說：「薑能通神明，去穢惡，幫不撤。」在現存最早的中藥專著《神農本草經》也有關於薑的記載：「乾姜，味辛溫，主胸胸滿，咳逆上氣，溫中止血、出汗、逐 風；溫脾，腸辟下痢。」李時珍在《本草糾目》中也推崇薑的妙用：「薑，辛而不勞，可蔬，可和，可果，可藥。」生薑熬的湯還有一個別名叫「還魂湯」。在蘇東 坡的《雜證》中也曾記載，錢塘淨慈寺的和尚，八十多歲，顏色如童子，問其故，「自言服生薑四十年，故不老雲」。民間也有「朝含三片薑，不用開藥方」，「冬 有生薑，不怕風霜」，「冬吃蘿蔔夏吃薑，不勞醫生開藥方」，「家備 小薑，小病不慌」等說法。 生薑性溫，其特有的「薑辣素」能刺激胃腸黏膜，使胃、腸道充血，消化能力增強，能有效地治療吃寒涼食物過多而引起的腹脹、腹痛、腹瀉、嘔吐等。 吃 過生薑後，人會有身體發熱的感覺，這是因為它能使血管擴張，血液循環加快，促使身上的毛孔張開，這樣不但能把多餘的熱帶走，同時還把體內的病菌、寒氣一同 帶出。所以，當身體吃了寒涼之物，受了雨淋，或在空調房間裏呆久後，吃生薑就能及時排除寒氣，消除因肌體寒重造成的各種不適。 下面針對一些常見病來介紹一下生薑的不同用法： 受涼感冒：用生薑3～4片加半勺紅糖煮水喝，一日2～3次。 感冒伴有咳嗽：生薑3～4片、大蒜7～8瓣加紅糖半勺一起煮，一日2～3次。 感冒伴有發熱：在生薑、紅糖水中再加入大蔥1根，一次2～3次。 吃過食物後腹脹：可直接口含生薑片，或喝生薑水，一會兒就能緩解。 受涼引起腹瀉：用燒開的生薑水沖雞蛋，一日2～3次，很快就好，腹瀉停止後再喝一天，以鞏固療效，暖胃腸。 空調房間呆久後引起的渾身發緊，頭發脹：隨時口含生薑片或每天在用2～3片生薑泡水喝，身體的不適馬上消除。 口腔潰瘍、牙周炎、口臭丶喉嚨發癢：口含生薑片或煮生薑水喝就能治癒，以後只要不吃寒涼食物，就不會復發。 咽喉腫痛：在熱薑水中加入少許的食鹽，當茶飲用。 孕期嘔吐：經常口含一片生薑就能治療和預防。 小兒吐奶：用1～2片生薑煮水喝後再餵奶。 消化不良、食欲不振：生薑和紅棗(切片)一起煮水喝，一日2次，就能開胃。 關節痛：每天早上起床後吃幾片生薑或者煮薑棗水喝，一-日3次堅持吃能明顯緩解關節的疼痛。 痛經：在生薑、紅糖水裏再加入2～3粒山楂，一日2～3次即好。 酒後頭痛、頭暈：可用生薑煮水喝，馬上緩解。手腳已生凍瘡但未破潰：可用生薑煮水泡手、泡腳。 長痱子：用生薑切片外擦，痱於很快就退，大人孩子都可用。 頭屑多、掉髮：經常用溫薑水洗頭，效果不錯可試試。 狐臭：每天用生薑片多擦凡次，能明顯減少臭味。 另 外，生薑還有解毒的功能。如誤食了毒覃，輕者會舌麻、噁心、嘔吐，最好的方法就是趕緊口嚼生薑，連吃幾片，怕辣的人就多切幾片生薑煮水喝，要連喝幾次至症 狀完全消失；重者會引起神志不清、昏迷，在送入醫院搶救後，等病情穩定了之後，就給病人喝生薑水，這樣能更快速地驅除毒質。 中年男士易患高血壓病，是由於體內寒濕重，經絡瘀堵不暢造成的。可以在每晚泡腳的水中加入生薑，有助於去寒、降血壓。同時生薑又是助陽之品，自古以來中醫就有「男子不可百日無薑」之說，常用生薑水泡腳既可以去寒又不上火，而且降壓、補腎，同時可以治療男性前列腺炎等疾病。 生薑唯一的不足之處就是常吃會引起肝火旺，所以一般情況下，肝炎病人是忌吃的，口乾、便秘、患痔瘡的病人也要少吃。 克制吃薑引起的肝火旺，可以同時配一些舒肝、理氣的食物，如山楂、菊花，用它們泡茶喝，這樣就可以消除生薑引起的燥熱而不傷身體。 有一位94歲 的老將軍，是我見到的高齡老人中身體最棒的，從外表上看絕對猜不出他的年齡，像是六十多歲一樣。他臉色紅潤，皺紋很少，，而且還沒有老人斑，步履輕盈，一 點沒有一般老人走路時的沉重感。老將軍的記憶力非常好，思維特別敏捷，他說從未感覺自己老了，也從未覺得身體是自己的負擔。我看了看老人的手相，又摸了第 二掌骨，證實老人確實身體硬朗，沒有多病的跡象，只是小魚際處略偏紅，這是陰虛火旺之人的共同特徵，再看老人的舌頭，舌邊上有些發紅，證明他有些肝火旺。 我就跟老人說，您身體內熱有些大吧。老人點頭稱是，因為他特別喜歡吃生的薑和蒜，幾乎每天中午、晚上吃飯時都會吃上一些，已堅持了幾十年，因為長年吃生 薑，身體內的寒濕就無法立足，經絡也就一直暢通，自然就沒有明顯 的衰老和多病的情況出現。 老人又告訴我他每天用3～4朵 菊花、山楂、幾粒枸杞、少量的決明子和一點綠茶，用滾開的水沖泡後，就是他每天喝的茶，這種飲法堅持了很久。我想，就是這些舒肝、理氣的茶，緩解了老人長 年吃薑、蒜造成的內熱大、肝火旺，使他的身體一直保持一種平衡、和諧。如果老人只是吃薑、蒜，長年下來他的肝臟會受不了，眼睛也會出現問題的；但如果只喝 舒肝、理氣的茶，身體就會氣虚、冷氣、抵抗力下降，久之就会生病。而老人将二者綜合起來，既用薑、蒜驅了寒，活了血，又及時疏理了肝火，不致瘀堵。而且， 老人的飲食十分注重營養，近年來除了飯量比以前少了一些，飲食習慣幾乎沒變，照樣吃魚、蝦和各種肉，還經常會喝上幾兩白酒，老將軍說：「我的目標是150歲，我相信我能做到。」! 薑 在家煮飯燒菜所用的生薑只要有一部分爛掉 便要整個丟棄 千萬不要捨不得只把爛的切掉 留下好的繼續燒菜 因為薑腐爛時 薑體會產生很強的 " 黃樟素 " 人體吃進黃樟素會造成肝細胞病變 嚴重影響身體健康 所以婆婆媽媽們不要因小失大 薑爛了就整個丟掉~

Only China can

1949， 只有社会主义才能救中国；
1979， 只有资本主义才能救中国；
1989， 只有中国才能救社会主义；
2009，只有中国才能救资本主义；
2012， 只有中国才能救地球

Translation:
1949, only socialism can save China;
1979, only capitalism can save China;
1989, only China can save socialism;
2009, only China can save capitalism;
2012, only China can save the earth.

啟示

> > *【*PART 1*】
> >
> > 從前從前有一個尼姑跟一個屠夫是鄰居兼好朋友，尼姑天天早上要起來念經，而屠夫天天要起來殺豬。
> >
> > 為了怕晚起床耽誤了他們自已早上的工作或功課，於是他們約定互相叫對方起床。
> >
> > 多年以後....尼姑與屠夫相繼去逝了，屠夫上了天堂，而尼姑卻下地獄去了！！
> >
> > Why？？？
> >
> > 因為屠夫天天作善事，叫尼姑起來念經；相反地，尼姑天天叫屠夫起來殺生！
> >
> > 意外吧....？
> >
> > 想想這則故事所得到的啟示吧....
> >
> > 「你做的東西是不是都是你認為對的，卻不一定是對的？」





> >
> > 【*PART 2*】
> >
> > 下了一場非常大的雨，洪水開始淹沒城市，一個神父在教堂裡祈禱，眼看洪水已經淹到他的身體了，突然一個救生員駕著小艇跟神父說：「神父....
快！快上來！不然洪水會把你淹死的！！」
> >
> > 神父說：「不！我要守著我的殿堂！我深信上帝會來救我的！！」
> >
> > 過了不久，洪水已經淹過神父頭了，神父只好勉強站在桌子上。
> >
> > 這時又一個警察開著小艇跟神父說：「神父！快！快上來！不然洪水會把你淹死的！」
> >
> > 神父說：「不！我要守著我的殿堂！我深信上帝會來救我的！！」
> >
> > 又過了一會兒，洪水已經把教堂淹沒了，神父只好抓著教堂頂端的十字架。
> >
> > 一架直昇機緩緩飛過來，丟下繩梯之後，飛行員大叫：「神父！快！快上來！不然洪水會把你淹死的！！」
> >
> > 神父還是意志很堅定的說：「不！我深信上帝會來救我的！」
> >
> > 最後，神父就被淹死了....
> >
> > 神父上了天堂後，見了上帝就很生氣的問：「你是怎麼搞的呀？這樣你的子民還會相信你嗎？」
> >
> > 上帝說：「你到底想我怎麼樣嘛？我已經派了兩艘小艇和一架直昇機去救你了，難道你要航空母艦才坐呀？」
> >
> > 文中神父堅信上帝會拯救他，他期待神蹟。
> >
> > 後來我們知道上帝是要救他的，只是所用的方式跟他所期待不一樣！
> >
> > 我們是不是常常用自己的價值觀硬套在別人身上？
> >
> > 我們希望對方這麼做、我們要求對方那麼做。
> >
> > 或者應該說，我們以為對方應該怎麼做，卻沒體會到對方其實都在做了，對方都有在付出！
> >
> > 只是，對方表達的方式不一樣，也因為彼此的行為模式不同，造成雙方的誤解。
> >
> >
> >
> > 「人生•不是得到....就是學到！」
> >
> > 我喜歡這句話，很健康的人生觀：
> >
> > 您不是得到一份圓滿的因緣；就是學到怎樣更靠近幸福。
> >
> > 您不是得到勝利；就是學到如何避免失敗。
> >
> > 您不是得到最終自己想要的結果；
> >
> > 就是學到....世事總不會盡如人意。
> >



--

Between the legs

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is so very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's Drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Have A Great Day !

Talking about cholesterol and old age

From our e-mails with Wong Sir on health and I find it useful for folks in our age:

-----
Health, cholesterol, exercise etc:

Thanks for your various kind suggestions and advice.

1. Irene: Many friends tell me I should eat麥皮. I’m quite lazy and try to avoid cooking and washing dishes. So I seldom eat麥皮, until recently.

I come across Quaker Instant Oatmeals – 10 packets per box for less than $3. I buy different mixes. I’m now starting having instant 麥皮, perhaps about 4-5 times a week. I’ll follow Irene’s advice and buy some Lecithin capsules/granules in the next few days.

2. One thing bad about me is whenever I watch TV ads about food, I’ll start searching for yuimmies and start eating. Bad, Bad, Bad! But I’m afraid I can’t control myself. Sometimes when I go out to eat, I’ll ask my friends to give me a kick if I start eating too much.

3. Like Tony, junk food usually ends up inside my tummy. It really takes great effort to control my eating habit. I’m trying…

4. Ding: Thanks for your detailed explanation and suggestion about Welchol. When I see my doctors, I ask them. Very true about taking care of the pain first before exercising.

When I was at the cardiac rehab center a few months ago, I could do walking/treadmilling for at least 45 minutes 4 to 5 times a week. Then because of the pain, my exercises were reduced to 2-3 minutes 1 to 2 times weekly. Now I can do treadmilling for about 25 minutes maybe 3 times a week.

5. Tony: You’re right about over-exercising. This is one of my weak points. Yes, the clinic receptionist always insists that I fast for the blood test and the stress test. With my recent resumption of exercising,

I should have no problem with the stress test, but I really don’t know about the blood test since I’m not taking lipiptor.

(By that way, my cardiologist was extremely angry when I asked him many months ago whether I could stop taking lipitor. He said I may die even if I don’t take it for one day.) From time to time, I eat bread that contains 10 grains with peanut butter and/or Becel omega 3 plus margarine. I’ll visit your website again tomorrow.

Thanks again, all, for your various suggestions and advice.

HS

=======

Irene wrote:

Have you been eating 麥皮 (need 1 cup, dry) every day and Lecithin 黃豆卵磷脂?, (in the formof granules or capsules), they’re suppose to be able to bring down the cholesterols.

Irene also wrote:

One way of stopping yourself eating your favorite junks is to stare at them and imagine something bad that look similar to that item. (sounds like Harry Potter films ). A guy from Australia used this method (+ exercise of course) to loose over 50 kg. and is making heaps of money now by promoting this method. Can’t remember his name off-hand.

Tony wrote:

I stared at my junk food (similar to stare at the sheep movie), but somehow they found their way into my month.

Ding wrote:

I am only trying to help from my own experience and research, not trying to pretend to be omnipotent.

Please ask your doctor about a drug called Welchol. It is not a statin (as in Lipitor, Crestor). Statins gave you the muscle problem. Welchol does not work on everyone but if it works on you, you are saved.

Statin's direct link to this muscle pain and damage has not been found but scientist found out it turned on a gene, the atrogin-1. This gene happens to be found active in cancer and AIDS patients at the beginning stages of the breakdown of their muscle. So far scientist are not sure if statins turn on the gene.

They only found this gene on. This is a good clue to explain why the muscle pain in people taking these statin drugs. Welchor does not get absorbed by the body. What it does is to carry away the bile acids from your blood. In order to replenish this useful acid, your liver will have to manufacture more.

The liver uses cholesterol to manufacture bile acid therefore it has to collect a lot of them back from your blood. This lowers your blood cholesterol. Welchor gets out of your system with the bile acid. Your stool becomes sticky and you will fart a lot (and awful too) but that will stop.

I know because I used to have high cholesterol and I took Lipitor. I had so much pain that I couldn't even strap my 二胡 on my shoulder and walk to my student's home which was three blocks. I couldn't walk freely. I switched to Welchor and I was fine. My cholesterol dropped and kept dropping.

I did a lot of research on this. Then with my muscle being fine I started to jog and practice my martial art again. Two years later, I am all healthy and I reduced my Welchor to half, then to 1/4 and now none.

My point is, you must take care of your pain first otherwise there is no way for you to do any exercise.

Tony wrote:

John, well said. I was about to give the same advice, but you took my words out of my mouth. Here are some other hints.

* As John said, strenuous exercise is no good. I had a doctor friend died of heart attack when playing badminton with his son several years ago. He was my age.

* You really need to fast before the tricel. test. Better to have a light dinner and take the test in the morning with only water.

* It is dangerous to stop Lipito. The doctor may have a good reason.

* Try a diet of 5 grains.

* There are several good suggestion in my blog. Need to have a post to summarize all health hints when I have time.

Amazing dance 2

A REDNECK LOVE POEM

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE, SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE. SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO. PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER. I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW, BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER. SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE AND PLANNED TO MARRY WILL. BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS, HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.' YOU CAN'T MARRY WILL, MY GAL, AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER. BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO' I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER. BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY. MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE; YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY. *************************** (Kinda brings a tear to yer eye, don't it)

=

PiPa Ambush

Powerful word

What is ONE word to be accused of discrimination 5 times?

"Ugly"

to a ugly, old, black, fat lady.

It is not the 'word' but to 'whom' you speak to, no matter it is true or not.

Idiots among us

Number One Idiot of 2008. I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre.. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.. Number Two Idiot of 2008. Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated... They are no longer employed at Boeing. Number Three Idiot of 2008. A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank.. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either, have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland .. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland . Happened in Noosa! Number Four Idiot of 2008. A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag... The robber then ran from the store with his loot.. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence.. They arrested the robber two hours later.. Number Five Idiot of 2008 A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.. Number Six Idiot of 2008. Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.. The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. .. The whole event was caught on videotape.. Perth WA . Number Seven IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger.. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.. Happened in Surfers Paradise !!! Number Eight IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know??' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened in Melbourne . Number Nine JUST AN IDIOT : When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know - I already got that side.' This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.

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