Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The rabbi is leaving

At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he
was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave,
because he is so popular.

Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Newton and Brookline , stands up and proclaims "If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says,

"If the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and
establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the
rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"

There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy
lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"

Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replied "Well, I just asked my husband how we
could help, and he said: "Fuck him."

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