1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK'- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER'- She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'
3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITYIMPAIRED.'
7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY'- She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.'
8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'
9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'
11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS' - She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'
12. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'