TonyP4 Jokes, Satires, Pictures...: April 2009

Why do we have to remember what happened? Because mankind repeats its mistakes. To remember the past is not to delude. It actually enlightens. That’s the reason for me to keep telling "stories". Stories that you might have already heard.

The martyr’s name is Cai Gong Shi (蔡公時). Ji Nan (濟南) is a city in the Shan Dong (山東) Province. Here is a brief background of Cai before he was murdered by the Japanese. He was born in 1881 in Jiu Jiang (九江) of Jiang Xi (江西). When he was 18, he had risked everything to organize a progressive group called the "Beware of Stains” (慎所染齋). Later, it was banned by the Manchu government. He then traveled to Japan and attended school. After he heard Dr. Sun Yat-sen's speech, he was so moved that he joined Sun’s United Democrats Society (同盟會). He and Sun’s comrade Huang Xing (黄興) returned to China and worked secretly in Jiangxi to overthrow the Manchu. After Sun’s Revolution in 1911, he joined the Kuomintang’s campaign against Yuan Shi Kai (袁世凱). The first campaign was a loss and he had to flee to Japan again. He studied in Tokyo’s Imperial University. Yuan Shi Kai seized all his property in China and his first wife died in grief and fear.

Because Cai was proficient in Japanese and had excellent diplomatic skills, the Kuomintang (KMT) government in Nan Jing appointed him as a member of the Commission and Director of Foreign Affairs in April 1928. His primary responsibility was to be in charge of the Office of Negotiation and to deal with the foreign powers in Shan Dong (山東).

On April 9 1928, Chiang Kai-Shek（蔣介石）sent his Northern Expeditionary Army (北伐軍) into Shan Dong with the purpose of defeating the warlords there. The Japanese, who had a sphere of influence in the area, never wanted China to be free from these menacing warlords. They decided to sabotage Chiang’s army’s mission. Using the excuse of protecting its nationals in the area, Japan sent troops into China. Cai happened to be representing the KMT government in Shan Dong at that time. On May 1, 1928 the fourth Northern Expeditionary Army Corps arrived in Ji Nan and the Japanese army in the city built fortifications, roadblocks and mined the streets. It also formed the so call "Japan's Volunteer Group" and claimed to be protecting the lives and properties of its nationals. In the morning on May 1, 1928, Ruan Ji Min (阮濟民) of the first Northern Expeditionary Army entered the city of Ji Nan. When four of his soldiers were looking for apartment in the city, the Japanese kidnapped them. The Japanese killed them and cremated their bodies. At the time, China and Japan was not at war but the Japanese was ambushing and killing the Chinese soldiers. In view of the seriousness of the provocation and still tried to avoid an arm conflict with Japan, commander Fang Zhen Wu (方振武) went to the Japanese Consulate to protest. The Japanese promised to temporarily remove all the roadblocks and halt the terror. But it actually sent in more troops and even raided the Office of Negotiation in Ji Nan. The officials who worked there barely escaped alive.

Diplomat Cai arrived in Ji Nan immediately to talk with the Japanese. But on May 2, Kazuhiko Fukuda, head of the Japanese Sixth Division, ordered his troop to massacre Chinese civilians in Ji Nan. On May 3, Cai and 18 members of his office arrived at the Office of Negotiation in Ji Nan City. His staff replaced the portrait of SunYat Sen and hoisted the Chinese “Blue Sky and White Sun” national flag, which had been removed and destroyed by the Japanese. He was awaiting the Japanese to come to talk. Suddenly, gunfire broke out all over the city. Japanese soldiers had blocked off the streets leading to and from Cai’s office.

At 10 am on the fateful day of May 3^rd, Cai phoned the Japanese Consulate and protested. The Japanese first denied they were aware of such. Then at 4 pm on the same day, the Japanese troops stormed the diplomat’s office and disarmed everyone inside. At 9:00 pm that evening, Japanese soldiers started to loot and destroy everything. They tore up all the documents, maps, the Chinese "Blue Sky White Sun" national flag and the portrait of Sun Yat Sen. An angry Cai fiercely protested, "We are inside the Chinese government’s diplomatic office and we are all unarmed. Your action is illegal!” Because his Japanese was fluent, the Japanese understood him clearly and they became more furious. They knocked him on the floor and butted him with their rifles. They also tied up his18 staff. When Cai heard what Fukuda was telling his soldiers to do with these diplomats, he exclaimed to his staff, “The Japanese are going to strip us naked and kill us with their bayonets! We will die for our country!” The other Japanese soldiers started to stab the other diplomats with their bayonets and swords. A Japanese soldier ran up to Cai and tied him up. They cut his ears and his nose off and took his eyes out. Without his eyes, ears and nose, a bloody, gruesome and pained Cai was still yelling at the Japanese, “The Japanese are killing unarmed diplomats. This is a national humiliation! An international crime! They are worse than beasts!” A Japanese officer named Watanabe approached Cai and inserted his sword into Cai’s mouth. He then turned his sword several times inside Cai’s mouth, cutting out his tongue. Waving his bloody sword, he told the soldiers to drag everybody out and kill them. They were all dragged outside, flogged and then shot to death.

Miraculously, there was one lucky diplomat who escaped this infamous "May 3^rd Ji Nan Massacre". His name was Zhang Han Ru 張漢儒. He later recalled every moment of this horro. Besides Cai and the other diplomats, the Japanese had killed over six thousand Chinese in Ji Nan. On May 10, 1929, the Japanese army finally withdrew from Ji Nan. This Japanese atrocity was before the official war which officially started in 1937.

The Japanese burned Cai and the other diplomats’ bodies beyond recognition. Cai’s second wife was able to collect the ashes. But following years of battle resisting the Japanese and then the Communists, no one knew what happened to the ashes. At that time, overseas Chinese donated money to build a bronze statute of Cai. When war was raging on with the Communist, the KMT moved the statue to Singapore and placed it inside the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Villa. Cai’s son was only 6 and his daughter was one when he died. In the chaos, his daughter was adopted by his friend and remained in Mainland China. His wife took his son and went to Taiwan with the KMT. The daughter never knew her family’s history because Cai’s friend never told her, fearing the Communist’s persecution of KMT members. In 1992, she and her brother finally reunited in China. She changed her name to Jin Ming (今明) to signify that she has finally realized her true beginning. The bronze statue also returned to Ji Nan from Singapore in 2006.

Cai was the first anti-Japanese martyr of modern China. There were plenty more later on. For example: Ji Xing Wen (吉星文) who fired the first shot at the Japanese and led his commandos to raid them when the fighting erupted in Lu Kou Bridge (蘆溝橋) on July 7, 1937. Ironically, he was killed years later by the Communist People’s Liberation Army. And then there was the world known fierce defense of the Four Banks' Warehouse (四行倉庫) in Shanghai by the 800 (actually 400) soldiers against an entire Japanese army. It was led by martyr Xie Jin Yuan（謝晉元). Xie was a Cantonese lieutenant who died at the age of 30 something. The gallantry of these soldiers was depicted in a movie starring Lin Qing Xia (林青霞) who portrayed the true story of a girl scout who tried to smuggle a Blue Sky and White Sun flag to Xie’s soldier. Xie’s tomb is still in Shanghai. By the way, Xie's commanding superior at the time was General Sun Yuan Liang (孫元良), father of actor Qin Han (秦漢).

As one country and one people, the Mainland Chinese government should not hide any facts of the patriotic and gallant acts of the millions of KMT members and soldiers during the war against the Japanese. Again, history should neither be concealed, distorted completely nor partially.

Original poem:

五月三日 -- Bai Ding

漢節拼來一烈屍，危城罵敵蔡公時。
傷心我未磨新劍，直筆空題恭敬辭。

----
Also see the post on Nanjing.

Pastor and his beautiful ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is .. .. . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Rape of Nanjing

Irene wrote on same topic in her e-mail. I include the following I commented in a blog for China.

http://blog.foolsmountain.com/2009/03/17/chinese-nationalism-an-chinese-immigrants-perspective/#comments

----

Tony:

I recommend every Chinese watch some movies about Nanjing. I hope some Japanese to watch them too, esp. the young generation - the old one will never change and they just bring their crime to the graves with them. The one I watched is about our respected Mr. Rabe, who had saved a lot of Chinese.

It turned humans into animals (Japanese), and humans into Saints (Mr. Rabe). I am still angry with those interviews with Japanese soldiers. They’re war criminals. One talked about nothing fun to rape a 12 (or 13) year old girl. One 12 (or 13) year old girl wanted to be raped to save herself and her grand pa.

The denial of Japan on this incident makes all human beings angry. Thanks to Iris Chang for writing the book on Nanjing and everyone making the documentary Nanjing (available from Netflix). How these soldiers feel if their 12 year old grand children were raped?

The toughest victims were the children of those victims whose parents were killed, raped and tortured. Do you blame these folks for not buying Japanese products for life? Why these war criminals still are bragging instead of running for their lives like the German war criminals is beyond me. Are Chinese too forgiving? I would forget and let by-gone be by-gone but cannot if the criminals do not admit their crimes.

The Japanese suffering from the 2 atomic bombs are TOTALLY JUSTIFIED. Most died in dignity. Without the two bombs, US would invade Japan and many innocent folks would die. Violence against violence is usually not my cup of tes, but it makes perfect sense here.

The citizens in Nanjing were raped, tortured and murdered. Babies were tossed to the sky and died. 250K died (350K official) in Nanjing alone. The Japanese should remove the war criminals from the “Shrine of war heroes” where the prime ministers regularly pay respect - (to war criminals???).

The Letters from Iwo Jima portrays the Japanese soldiers as kind human beings. Most are animals and you're portraying the minority. Is this the biggest movie from Hollywood to describe the human natures of Japanese soldiers? If so, Hollywood and the west do not understand the east. They are just ignorant as usual.

If there were a God, I do not think Japan is not as prosperous as today. Or, the God is not fair.

I’m not a violent guy and this movie just drives me to my limit with unbearable sorrow. We should not spread hatred. However, as one American (forget his name) said: if we do not learn from history, we would likely repeat history.

------

The following poem is written by Bai Ding. See separate post on his 『五三濟南慘案.

【七律】遙望金陵

海未晏平河未清，百年世事一吞聲。
朝隨酷日瞻天國，夜擁寒衾夢鬼城。
紫鏡焉能輕魍魎，青鋒豈願放蛟鯨。
孤身枉作刀橫想，聊對金陵寄我情。

按﹕金陵即是南京。

當年孫中山先生革年命剛剛成功，割據的軍閥還未消滅，國軍已疲於奔命，日本狼子野心，百多年來早已不斷對我國進行騷擾，最後在1937年七月七日正式入侵，向我們下毒手。當年若不是日本侵華，國軍傷亡百多萬，元氣大傷，共產黨也不會乘機得手，再害苦我們多幾十年。

五月三日快到了，讓我告訴大家一個叫做『五三濟南慘案』 (see separate post) 的故事吧，那時日寇還未正式侵華，但其兇暴之行，已經令人髮指。

Another joke from Greg

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter the Pearly Gates,

God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men who were the true heads of their households, and
the other line for the men who were dominated by their women.

I want all the women to report to St. Peter.

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long,
and in the line of men who truly were heads of their households,
there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves,
I created you to be the heads of your households!

You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!
Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be
the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

1977 & 2007

This is sent only to those whose level of maturity
> qualifies them to relate to it...
>
> 1977 : Long hair
> 2007: Longing for hair
>
> 1977: KEG
> 2007: EKG
>
> 1977 : Acid rock
> 2007 : Acid reflux
>
>
> 1977 : Moving to California because it's cool
> 2007 : Moving to Arizona because it's warm
>
> 1977 : Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
> 2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
>
> 1977 : Seeds and stems
> 2007: Roughage
>
> 1977 : Hoping for a BMW
> 2007: Hoping for a BM
>
>
> 1977 : Going to a new, hip joint
> 2007: Receiving a new hip joint
>
> 1977 : Rolling Stones
> 2007: Kidney Stones
>
> 1977 : Screw the system
> 2007: Upgrade the system
>
>
> 1977 : Disco
> 2007: Costco
>
>
> 1977 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut
> 2007: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
>
>
> 1977 : Passing the drivers' test
> 2005: Passing the vision test
>
>
> 1977 : Whatever
> 2007: Depends
>
> Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this
> will certainly change things.
>
> Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin
> puts together a list to try to give the faculty a
> sense of the mindset of this year's incoming
> freshmen. Here's this year's list:
>
> The people who are starting college this fall across
> the nation were born in 1987.
>
>
> They are too young to remember the space shuttle
> blowing up.
>
> Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
>
> Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
>
> The CD was introduced the year they were born.
>
> They have always had an answering! machine
>
> They have always had cable.
>
> They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
>
> Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
>
> Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
>
> They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
>
> They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
>
> They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
>
> They never heard:
> "Where's the Beef?",
> "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane."
>
>
> They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
>
> McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
>
> They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
>
> Do you feel old yet?
>
> Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.
>
> Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who
> have trouble reading...
>
> So have a nice day!!!!!
> It is good to have friends who know about these
> things and are still alive and kicking!!!!

Two Woodpeckers

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.

The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

Once a marine always a marine

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up from his newspaper and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married".

She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."

She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"

He looked her up and down and said; "Mission Accomplished."

Friday, April 24, 2009

What is your secret?

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.W

Patient discharged from hospital

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.

However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Garage door

The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'

The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.'

Not your usual blonde-joke story

> An extremely attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland
> arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated
> and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

> She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
> when I'm completely nude'.
> With that, she stripped from the neck down,
> rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled,
> 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

> As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and
> squealed...' YES! YES! I WON, I WON! '
> She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her
> winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

> The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

> Finally, one of them asked,
> 'What did she roll?' the other answered,
> 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.
>
>
>
> MORAL OF THE STORY
>
> Not all Irish are drunks,
> not all blondes are dumb,
>
> but all men...are
> men.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lion Tamer

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, old retired golfer in his late 60's and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The Circus Owners jaw is on the floor.. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"

The tough old golfer replies, "No problem, just get that damn lion out of the way."

牛奶，真的能讓你喝出一身病！?

Summary in English: Milk may not be beneficial to your health when you're over 30 years of age.

內容簡介
自然醫學博士王宥驊醫師
癌症權威、暢銷書作家姜淑惠醫師
自然醫學研究會長江晃榮博士
腦科權威、抗癌名醫許達夫醫師
風車女性健康管理機構董事莊靜芬醫師
全球華人防癌長鏈倡導人梅襄陽醫師
各界名醫．鄭重推薦

? 蔅丑A真的能讓你喝出一身病！

沒錯，牛奶能讓你在三十歲達到骨密度的高峰，
代價卻是中老年以後骨質多孔的風險！

喝牛奶就像替細胞安裝了加速器，它讓你長得高又壯，卻同時加速腫瘤的生長！
是誰綁架了你的健康，你還能裝作不知道嗎？

這本大爆食品工業內幕的書將會使你大開眼界！

作者鎖定農產食品市場區塊最大種類──乳製品，

大膽挑戰揭露這個龐大產業試圖隱瞞的內幕。

這本書包含科學證據和國際級的好資料，很難找到漏洞來攻擊作者的論點。

在書中將能瞭解到，由於過量攝取牛奶中生長因子所產生的全部壞處，

甚至會看到過量攝取乳製品可能會讓骨質疏鬆症的病情更嚴重。

作者以研究作為支持，披露乳品工業和營養學論述是如何運用一些錯誤的觀念

誘導大眾購買越來越多的牛奶。

然而，究竟牛奶的營養價值到底為何？是否真的喝越多越好？

這本書也將從正反兩方的研究數據，告訴大家真相。

作者意圖不在於告訴大家不要喝牛奶，

而是希望能讓大家知道牛奶工業的行銷手段，

這個強大的牛奶遊說團如何說服官方，創造普遍認為牛奶是營養飲料的迷思。

在知道牛奶真相之後，你可以因它的美味選擇喝它，但絕不要因為是被規定。

況且，過量攝取牛奶反而可能提高罹患心血管、糖尿病、前列腺癌的機率。

這些引發各種疾病的事實，對於必須愛惜身體健康的我們，也是不得不注意的。

本書最後也從最新的科學文獻取材，提出另一種營養配方，

讓大家不用猛灌牛奶也能預防骨質疏鬆和其他文明病。

作者對於牛奶工業歷史引人入勝的撰寫，以及對牛奶引發疾病始末的描述，

精采好讀，注重健康飲食的你我一定不可錯過

作者簡介
蒂埃裡．蘇卡（Thierry Souccar）

法國知名科學線記者，《新觀察家》（Le Nouvel Observateur）週刊

「健康新知」專欄主編，長期為《科學與未來》（Sciences et Avenir）月刊

撰述與健康和營養議題相關的論文，也是「美國營養學院」的會員之一。

《牛奶，謊言與內幕》推薦序二：是時候打破牛奶神話了！

文 / 王宥驊（本文作者為自然醫學博士）

長期以來牛奶廠商結合了西方醫學以及媒體，創造出了牛奶神話。

他們找來了明星和名人來代言，每個人的唇上都長了白亮亮的牛奶鬍子。

彷彿是害怕世人不知道牛奶是萬靈丹，提醒大家喝了可以治百病。

姑且不談牛奶商人荷包滿滿，明星名人各個因為高額的代言費笑不攏嘴；

西方醫學人士更因為病人喝了牛奶而使身體更加糟糕，

看診開藥更是使他們的收入暴增。然而背後的真相到底有誰知道了呢？

大眾的病苦又有誰真正去瞭解問題的根源了呢？

牛奶是給牛喝的。

這在自然醫學內已經是國民生活需知般穩固，如鋼鐵般堅硬的法則。

簡單來說，牛奶裡面的蛋白質跟養分都是專門為了使小牛成長而設計，

跟人類一點關係都沒有。也因此人體的免疫系統會對這些不適合人體的蛋白質

產生過敏的現象，例如：鼻塞、腹瀉、紅疹等等。

牛奶裡面也含有大量的細菌病毒、荷爾蒙、抗生素、感染源及化學藥劑等，

喝多了容易提高婦科問題發生機率，也會增加身體毒素的累積。

牛奶因為是產酸性的食物，也因此身體為了中和由蛋白質所產生的酸性，

必須損耗身體裡面的鈣質，最後導致骨質疏鬆的問題。

過多的乳製品攝取會讓身體變成酸性，而酸性體質是形成所有疾病和問題的基礎，

更會造成身體排毒的問題。比較輕微的會有過敏症狀，嚴重的，

則會有心臟冠狀動脈疾病、神經系統疾病、傳染疾病、糖尿病，還有腫瘤的形成。

東方人因為體質的不同，乳糖不耐症的比例比白種人高出很多，

約有百分之九十的人有這樣的問題。

（人類斷奶後沒有辦法分解乳糖更是人體不需要攝取奶類的鐵證！）

基本上有乳糖不耐症的人一喝牛奶就會過敏而且腹瀉，

牛奶裡面即使有再豐富的鈣質也都付諸流水了，又怎麼會補充到身子裡呢？

如果喝牛奶可以補充到鈣質的話，試問為什麼美國、英國、瑞典、芬蘭這些

在全世界消耗牛奶最多的國家，卻也同時是骨質疏鬆症最嚴重的國家呢？

人體吸收鈣質的過程是很複雜的，

到目前為止仍然沒有有力的證據指出喝牛奶能真正補充到鈣質。

但真正要補充到鈣質還有很多方法：

像是多吃蔬菜水果，尤其是深綠色葉菜、魚類、豆類，

適當的運動也可以預防骨質疏鬆的問題。

這世界上已經有太多關於牛奶的謊言了，

然而事實的真相卻一直被那些既得利益者

想盡辦法瞞天過海，為的只是讓自己銀行存款尾數多加幾個零。

更可悲的是號稱為人民健康把關的西醫們也從來沒有真正思考過關於

牛奶的來龍去脈，只是盲目地崇拜著先人錯誤的結果。

很高興有記者蒂埃裡．蘇卡先生把血淋淋的真相寫出來，

也感謝商周出版把這麼一本珍貴的書翻譯成中文，

讓全球華人有機會接觸到正確的知識。

當大多數西醫都是盲目的時候，從客觀角度、經過追根究柢精神所寫出來的書，

這本警鍾想必會在保守的醫學界投下一顆震撼彈。

或許下次去看醫生時，可以送一本《牛奶，謊言與內幕》給他╱她。

更可以大聲的對牛奶鬍子說不！

如果看完了書，您還是不相信乳製品對人體的壞處，

不妨試試自然醫學中的「七日牛奶排毒法」。

方法很簡單：只要在短短的七天內，完全不攝取牛奶跟乳製品即可

（包含起士、冰淇淋、巧克力、優酪乳等）。只要這麼做，

大約四公升的黏膜就會從您的腎臟、脾臟、胰臟、還有其他的部位排出。

您會發現身體內部好比做了一場大掃除！

大部分的人只要進行七天牛奶排毒計畫，都能很快發現到明顯的不同，

無論是身體或是心理的狀態，比如睡的比較安穩、比較有精神、情緒比較穩定、

性慾增強等。

挑戰一下自己，只要七天就可以讓自己煥然一新，何樂而不為？

您可以仔細的記錄好與不好的過程與變化來做比較。

如果您懷疑七天後所感受到的改變，或認為這只是%E

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The pasta diet

The Pasta Diet and Your Health

ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!

1.. You walk pasta da bakery.

2.. You walka pasta da candy store.

3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge.

You will lose weight!

AND....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than
the English.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English..

3 The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

大陸人怎麼排隊

很簡單，和您前後的人（不論男女）前胸貼後背，外加伸出您的玉手抓住前一兩個人的肩膀或是手臂，這不就完成了嗎？

笑話是這麼說的：
在北京地鐵內有位老兄抱怨地鐵太擠，
害得他懷孕的老婆流產了。
旁邊一位上海來的開口說話，
哼！北京有什麼大不了，
我們上海的地鐵擠得害我老婆懷孕了。

聯合國數碼圖書館 www.wdl.org

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19國家圖書館攜手而成
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籌辦「世界數碼圖書館」的項目負責人比林頓（James Billington）表示，期望這網站為全球網民提供更豐碩文化資訊的同時，更能充當溝通世界、促進不同文化相互了解的「隨意門」，加深國際了解。

全球第三個大型數碼圖書館
世界數碼圖書館將是全球第三個大型數碼圖書館。目前已有Google圖書搜尋（Google Book Search）以及歐盟的 Europeana。Google為打造數碼圖書館，捲入版權官司戰，直到去年底Google才與書商達成和解方案（涉款約9.7億港元），Google 和美國有關書商將瓜分賣書利潤和網上廣告收益。Google現仍致力令更多資料上傳至互聯網。至於歐盟的Europeana則讓使用者免費瀏覽460萬套在歐盟圖書館內的書本、電影、繪畫、照片、聲音記錄以及地圖等資料。它的目標是在2010年前掃描以及上載達1000萬個項目。

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Inspirational and beautiful voice.

Suan Boyle of Britons Got Talent is inspirational. She can make it at 47!

Cry me a river.

Click here.

47 Year old Susan Boyle wows the judges with her performance in the auditions for Britains Got Talent, singing I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables.

Here are the Lyrics:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
And they turn your dreams to shame

十穀米 - 10 grains

Summary in English: eat 10 grains (crude rice, wheat...) to cure almost all diseases and make you look younger.

去年夏天的一個半夜，劉哲豪和往常一樣上夜班時，肚子突然絞痛，而且排出大量鮮血，讓他差點暈倒。
緊急送往三總急診，
醫師告訴他是「直腸癌末期併肝轉移」。
　　
他開始接受治療，
腸子切了十幾公分，前後開了四次刀，
足足有七、八個月不能工作。
在化療之後，臉與手腳全部變黑浮腫，
連走路都有困難。
　　
「醫師說我這種病起碼要二十年才能形成，
冰凍三尺非一日之寒。
我回想過去二十年，發現
自己雖然滴酒不沾，卻超愛吃消夜，
幾乎天天都吃，而且偏愛碳烤的東西，

凡是天上飛的、地上爬的、海裡游的，
我都喜歡吃，三餐沒有海鮮就吃不下，
蝦子可以一次吃半斤一斤。

經常半夜吃得漲漲的回家，
看到大家都睡了，也倒頭就睡。
這樣的日子過了十七、八年。」
劉哲豪回憶說。
　　
痛定思痛，他決定在吃的方面「痛改前非」，
不該吃的不再吃，過去吃錯的，全部調整過來。

他開始自己找資料，看書看報上網，
最後斷定自己是吃了太多酸性物質，
要讓身體健康，
必須調整到鹼性佔七分，酸性佔三分。

他為自己擬了菜單，主食改吃十殼米，
就是把
糙米、黑糯米、小米、小麥、蕎麥、
芡實、燕麥、蓮子、麥片、紅薏仁
熬煮在一起，

魚不吃，肉只吃一點點，
蔬菜水果大量吃，飯後喝綠茶。
　　
連吃兩個禮拜之後，
他就發現自己體力變好了。
後來他又增加了健康食品，
包括
蜂王乳、蜂膠、啤酒酵母、綠藻等，
人更精神了，臉上手上的黑色素慢慢褪去，
腳也不腫了，「連頭髮都變黑」。
　　
恢復上班之後，
同事們都說看不出來他曾經大病一場，
許多人也學著吃十穀米，
有人多年嘴角破皮的毛病竟自然痊癒，
有人解決了陳年疑難雜症。

劉哲豪說，他其實到現在還沒有康復，
只是學會與癌共存，用最適當的飲食，
讓身體保持最佳狀況。
　　
有時候，他會抽空探視一些與自己同病相憐的癌症患者，
每個原本滿臉愁雲慘霧者，聽到他的心得報告後，
都跟著調整飲食，
「我這套提供給他們吃，每個人都有效。」他說。
　　
「不要每天就想著自己是癌症，
我有個朋友的太太得了乳癌，
本來沒什麼，但她天天憂慮，
結果一年就死了。

病本無害，是心裡做怪，
路就走盡了。
要把病當做一種挑戰，
儘量調整自己去面對挑戰。」

一場致命大病，
劉哲豪似乎鍛鍊出獨特的意志力，
也有一套豁達的生命觀。

在抗癌過程中，妻子耐心照顧陪伴他，
他改吃健康餐，太太也跟著吃，
「她臉上原本有遺傳性黑斑，
現在通通沒有了，人變得漂亮又有精神。」

十榖米
大陸少林寺果林老和尚，
現年一百零三歲，仙風道骨。
精神钁鑠，聲若洪鐘，健步如飛，
貌似六十開外。
有人求長壽之道，師父說：
「每日一碗十穀健康粥」。
果林老和尚將秘方傳予徐上德醫師。

有一弱女子，被宣布罹患鼻咽癌，
其母每日親熬十穀健康粥，癌症竟奇蹟似地縮小，
癌症指數降為正常，
主治醫師直呼不可能，問其吃何種藥物，
其母說：「皆因十穀健康粥遠勝藥物。」

唐琪小姐現年五十歲，
每天一碗十穀健康粥，
看起來像三十歲，青春、健康、美麗。

健保局總經理賴美淑醫師每天吃十穀健康粥，
永保工作活力。（見聯合報報導）
材料：
糙米、黑糯米、小米、小麥、蕎麥、
芡實、燕麥、蓮子、麥片和紅薏仁
等分量混合而成。
以上十種，可同時煮熟。

成份：
十穀健康米，據科學分析其成份有一百多種有益人體健康的物質，
如維生素Ｂ群（Ｂ１，Ｂ２，Ｂ６，Ｂ９，Ｂ１２）、Ｃ、Ａ、Ｅ、Ｋ、Ｄ，
礦物質（鈣、鐵、鎂、鉀），
微量元素（鋅、鉬、錳、鍺），
酵素，抗氧化物、纖維素、氨基酸、生物素，
具有降血壓，降膽固醇，清除血栓，舒緩神經之功用，
對便秘、高血壓、皮膚病、闌尾炎、失眠、口角炎效果不亞於醫藥，
最重要的是沒有副作用。

徐醫師：白米因除去糖麩及胚芽，僅剩碳水化合物，
只提供熱量，營養價值遠低於十穀米。
要健康長壽，每天要吃多種類食物，以補充每日新陳代謝所需之酵素。
多吃十穀米，可預防血管硬化、腦中風、痛風、心肌梗塞、癌症等現代文明病。

附記：徐醫師與振銘有數面之緣，目前在台南執業，在台南地區有相當的知名度。

Monday, April 20, 2009

New restaurant

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Newborn baby

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center are sitting on a bench under a tree.

One turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'

Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'

'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'

'Yep! No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

---
Tony: it is our turn to be made fun at.

Court laughs

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

How many positions of love making?

I (editor note: thanks Steve for your honesty and willingness to share your experience, haha) once took a sex-education class in college and a funny thing happened one day.

The professor arrived and said we'd be discussing positions that day and asked us how many positions did we know. I sat there too embarrassed to speak but one gal a couple of seats over said, "Twelve."

The professor nodded approval but as he got ready to call on another student, there was a loud call from the far back row of the 150 seat auditorium, "A hundred and one."

The little professor looked over his thick glasses but couldn't make out who had spoken. Finally he called on a fellow down in the front row who replied, "Seven."

And once again from the very back was heard, "A hundred and one."

Finally he called on a very shy lady sitting next to me. At first she acted like she wasn't going to answer.

Finally she said, "Only one, sir."

And the professor said, "Well young lady that is unusual. And what position would that be?"

"With the man on top and woman on the bottom," she replied.

From the back of the room came that same voice, "A hundred and two!

吃蝦的時候喝橙汁等於自殺 - Shrimp & orange.

Summary in English: do not eat shrimps and orange together - it will kill you!

> 蝦+ 維生素C = 砒霜------- 女孩一夜暴斃臺灣，
>
> 一名女孩突然無緣無故的七孔流血暴斃，一夜之間，就奔赴黃泉, 經過初步驗屍. 斷
> 定為因砒霜中毒而死亡。
>
> 那砒霜從何而來？一名醫學院的教授被邀趕來協助破案。教授仔細地察看了死者胃中
> 取物，不到半個小時，暴斃之謎便揭曉。教授說：「死者並非自殺，亦不是被殺，而
> 是死於無知的『它殺』」大家莫名其妙。
>
> 教授說：「砒霜是在死者腹內產生的。」死者生前每天也會服食「維他命C 」，這完
> 全沒有問題，問題出在她晚餐吃了大量的蝦，吃蝦本身也是沒有問題的，所以她在家
> 吃了都沒有事，但死者卻同時服用了「維他命C」，問題就出在這裏!
>
> 美國芝加哥大學的研究員，通過實驗發現，蝦等軟殼類食物含有大量濃度較高的－五
> 鉀砷化合物。
>
> 這種物質食入體內，本身對身體並無毒害作用，但是，在服用「維生素C」之後，由於
> 化學作用，使原來無毒的－五鉀砷(即砷酸酐，亦稱五氧化砷)，其化學式為
> (As2O5) ，轉變為有毒的三鉀砷(即亞砷酸酐)，又稱為三氧化二砷，其化學式為
> (As2O3) ，這就是們俗稱的砒霜!
>
> 砒霜有原漿毒作用，能麻痹毛細血管，抑制巰基梅的活性，並使肝臟脂變肝小葉中心
> 壞死，心、肝、腎、腸充血，上皮細胞壞死，毛細血管擴張。
>
> 故中其毒而死者，常是七竅出血。
>
> 所以；為慎重起見，在服用維生素C期間，應當忌食蝦類。
>
> 看完後；請不要吝嗇，轉寄給你的同學和親友現在很多飲料裏都有維他命C

Lawyers

1. The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They weren't working ... They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

3. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.

4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.

5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford?

6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save only one of them, would you (A)-go to lunch or (B)-read the newspaper?

8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.

9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.

10. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.

11. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.

12. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.

13. What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.

14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Don't know. (There are some things a pig just won't do.)

15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

16. What's another difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Removable wing tips.

17. Why does NY have the most lawyers in the country, while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice.

Do not STEAL.......... The government hates competition.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Hearing aids

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Monday, April 13, 2009

中文也需要翻譯

一個口音很重的縣長到村裏作報告：

「兔子們，蝦米們，豬尾巴！不要醬瓜，鹹菜太貴啦！！」
（翻譯：同志們，鄉民們，注意吧！不要講話，現在開會啦！！）

縣長講完以後，主持人說：「鹹菜請香腸醬瓜！」
（翻譯：現在請鄉長講話！）

鄉長說：「兔子們，今天的飯狗吃了，大家都是大王八！」
（翻譯：同志們，今天的飯夠吃了，大家都是大碗吧！）

不要醬瓜，我撿個狗屎給你們舔舔．．．
（翻譯：不要講話，我講個故事給你們聽聽)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Italian confession

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'

Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as
well tell me now.

Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'

‘4 months vacation and five good leads.’

Wednesday, April 29, 2009