At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.
The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
As they were riding down the river, there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, 'Do you want to go up or down?'
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the
river, when soon they came upon another fork in the
river. He again asked the lady , 'Up or down ?'
There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.
She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down ?'
The woman replied, 'Down.'
A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady,'Up or down ?'
She replied, 'Up.'
This really confused the gentleman so he asked,
'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'
She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown!'
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Should children witness childbirth?
Here's your answer.
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See while he helped deliver the baby...
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
Kathleen quickly responded,
"He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again!"
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could See while he helped deliver the baby...
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
Kathleen quickly responded,
"He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again!"
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you.
超有深度的作文
老師讓同學回家後寫一篇有關「國家」、「黨」、「社會」和「人民」的作文。
小明不理解這些詞的含義，就去問爸爸。爸爸告訴他：
「國家是最大的，就像你奶奶，黨是最有權利的，是一家之主，就像我。
社會就是為黨和國家幹活，還得聽黨的，就像你媽媽。
人民就是最小的，說什麼也沒人聽，就像你。」
晚飯後，小明想寫作文，可是還不是很明白這些事，就去想問奶奶， 可是奶奶已經睡了。
小明去找爸媽，爸爸和媽媽正忙著「床上運動」，爸爸一看他來，兩個耳刮子就給打出來了。小明沒有辦，
只好抹抹眼淚，回房間自己寫作文了。
第二天，爸爸接到老師的電話：
「你是小明的父親吧！」
「是啊，什麼事？」
關於小明的作文
「是寫的不好嗎？」
「不，是寫的太好了，我懷疑不是他自己寫的！」
「他寫了什麼？」
小明的作文寫：
「國家已沉睡，黨在玩社會，社會在呻吟，人民在流淚。」
小明不理解這些詞的含義，就去問爸爸。爸爸告訴他：
「國家是最大的，就像你奶奶，黨是最有權利的，是一家之主，就像我。
社會就是為黨和國家幹活，還得聽黨的，就像你媽媽。
人民就是最小的，說什麼也沒人聽，就像你。」
晚飯後，小明想寫作文，可是還不是很明白這些事，就去想問奶奶， 可是奶奶已經睡了。
小明去找爸媽，爸爸和媽媽正忙著「床上運動」，爸爸一看他來，兩個耳刮子就給打出來了。小明沒有辦，
只好抹抹眼淚，回房間自己寫作文了。
第二天，爸爸接到老師的電話：
「你是小明的父親吧！」
「是啊，什麼事？」
關於小明的作文
「是寫的不好嗎？」
「不，是寫的太好了，我懷疑不是他自己寫的！」
「他寫了什麼？」
小明的作文寫：
「國家已沉睡，黨在玩社會，社會在呻吟，人民在流淚。」
Why we're in deep shit
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why.
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of
the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in
Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa.'' His response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent
a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car
to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, "No, why do you ask?"
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT -
Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on
his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it
be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Alabama who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL , on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator, called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere.."
The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On
an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of
the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in
Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, '' Cape Cod is
in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa.'' His response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it
possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he
had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent
a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car
to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went
fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, "No, why do you ask?"
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my
luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying
laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT -
Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on
his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip
package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it
be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from
Alabama who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my
flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL , on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator, called and had a question about the
documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her
this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they
have accepted my American Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I
want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name
of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere.."
The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check
your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't
mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Q & A
Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperm can at least enjoy the scenery even if their entry is restricted!
[]
Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married men not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women.
Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... Tomorrow you'll have to do it again.
Q: What will happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary every day and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why are 90% of girls' left boobs bigger than their right?
A: Because 90% of boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... It is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a wife and chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later
Advantages of having an affair with a married woman.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise ...
Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
A: So that sperm can at least enjoy the scenery even if their entry is restricted!
[]
Signboard outside a prostitute's house:
Married men not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy...
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women.
Why is sex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well you do it today... Tomorrow you'll have to do it again.
Q: What will happen if the earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary every day and women will bleed to death.
Q: Why are 90% of girls' left boobs bigger than their right?
A: Because 90% of boys are right handed.
Q: What is the difference between UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... It is SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between a wife and chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later
Advantages of having an affair with a married woman.
They give like hell.
They do not yell.
They do not tell.
They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!
My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise ...
Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!
Can food cure cancer?
Irene sent this before. Seems it is worth to remind us that food can cure many diseases, and prevention is important. To conclude, eat more natural food, vegetables and fruits, and less BBQ food, processed food...
Here is the link.
Here is the link.
六個台灣的極品笑話
1... 李登輝、連戰、陳水扁同坐直升機巡視。
李登輝說：如果我丟一千塊下去，撿到那一個人一定很高興。
連戰說： 如果我丟兩張五百元下去，那就有兩個人很高興了。
陳水扁說：如果我丟十張一百元下去，就有十個 人很高興了。
這個時候...駕駛員喃喃自語地說： 何不把自己都丟下去，
讓兩千三百萬人都高興呢？
2... 總統阿扁希望提高自己的聲望，想要發行有自己肖像的郵票.....
發行過了一個多月之後，阿扁想要問看看視察看看銷路如何。
.......阿扁：銷售情形怎麼樣？
郵政總局局長：還算不錯，不過常常有人抱怨黏不牢！
阿扁：怎麼會呢？
阿扁隨手拿了一張郵票，塗了一點口水在郵票背面，便試貼在信封上，
....
阿扁：這樣不是黏得很緊嗎？
郵政總局局長：可是......大家...都把口水吐在正面啊...
3...深夜，阿扁總統要去幫阿珍買夜宵。
結果在路上遇到搶匪...
搶匪拿著槍指 著阿扁說：把身上的錢交出來！
阿扁勃然大怒說：你這什 麼態度？我可是堂堂總統耶！'
搶匪：喔! 那...... 把我的錢還來。
4...某天，總統、五院院長等大官一起參加一個會議，結果發生連環車 禍，送至醫院急救，記者們聞風趕至醫院。
稍久，醫生出 來了，記者忙著問：
醫生！醫生！總統有救嗎？
醫生沮喪的搖 搖頭....總統沒救了...
記者又問：醫生！醫生！
行政院長有救嗎？
醫生又沮喪的搖搖頭...也沒救了...
記者就問：那到底誰有救？
醫生精神一振說：台灣有救了！
5... 有一天陳水扁總統前往某家精神病院視察，所有的病患都站在走廊上高聲歡呼，陳水扁萬歲！陳水扁萬歲！
只有一名病患面無表情，對總統不理不睬。
陳水扁看到了，於是問院長說：
那位病人為什麼不對我歡呼呢？
院長：因為他今天精神非常正常。
6...一輛競選車載 著陳水扁競選團隊開到鄉村去造勢，不幸在山間小路上翻車，
正在農田裡幹 活的老農民看見這情景，就趕到出事å
李登輝說：如果我丟一千塊下去，撿到那一個人一定很高興。
連戰說： 如果我丟兩張五百元下去，那就有兩個人很高興了。
陳水扁說：如果我丟十張一百元下去，就有十個 人很高興了。
這個時候...駕駛員喃喃自語地說： 何不把自己都丟下去，
讓兩千三百萬人都高興呢？
2... 總統阿扁希望提高自己的聲望，想要發行有自己肖像的郵票.....
發行過了一個多月之後，阿扁想要問看看視察看看銷路如何。
.......阿扁：銷售情形怎麼樣？
郵政總局局長：還算不錯，不過常常有人抱怨黏不牢！
阿扁：怎麼會呢？
阿扁隨手拿了一張郵票，塗了一點口水在郵票背面，便試貼在信封上，
....
阿扁：這樣不是黏得很緊嗎？
郵政總局局長：可是......大家...都把口水吐在正面啊...
3...深夜，阿扁總統要去幫阿珍買夜宵。
結果在路上遇到搶匪...
搶匪拿著槍指 著阿扁說：把身上的錢交出來！
阿扁勃然大怒說：你這什 麼態度？我可是堂堂總統耶！'
搶匪：喔! 那...... 把我的錢還來。
4...某天，總統、五院院長等大官一起參加一個會議，結果發生連環車 禍，送至醫院急救，記者們聞風趕至醫院。
稍久，醫生出 來了，記者忙著問：
醫生！醫生！總統有救嗎？
醫生沮喪的搖 搖頭....總統沒救了...
記者又問：醫生！醫生！
行政院長有救嗎？
醫生又沮喪的搖搖頭...也沒救了...
記者就問：那到底誰有救？
醫生精神一振說：台灣有救了！
5... 有一天陳水扁總統前往某家精神病院視察，所有的病患都站在走廊上高聲歡呼，陳水扁萬歲！陳水扁萬歲！
只有一名病患面無表情，對總統不理不睬。
陳水扁看到了，於是問院長說：
那位病人為什麼不對我歡呼呢？
院長：因為他今天精神非常正常。
6...一輛競選車載 著陳水扁競選團隊開到鄉村去造勢，不幸在山間小路上翻車，
正在農田裡幹 活的老農民看見這情景，就趕到出事å
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
有人知道答案嗎?????
三個人去投宿
服務生說要300元
每個人就各出了100元，湊成300元
後來老闆說今天特價只要 250元
於是老闆叫服務生把退的 50元 拿去還給他們
服務生想說自己也很辛苦於是暗藏 20元起來，然後就把剩下的 30元還給他們
那三個人每人拿回１０元 100－10＝90 表示每個人只出了 90元投宿
90元X３人= 270元 +服務生的20元＝290元
請問...那剩下的 10元呢？？？？
紐西蘭某大學提供這個題目後，受到廣大的迴響！
好多人到目前為止還是想不通．．．．．．．．
服務生說要300元
每個人就各出了100元，湊成300元
後來老闆說今天特價只要 250元
於是老闆叫服務生把退的 50元 拿去還給他們
服務生想說自己也很辛苦於是暗藏 20元起來，然後就把剩下的 30元還給他們
那三個人每人拿回１０元 100－10＝90 表示每個人只出了 90元投宿
90元X３人= 270元 +服務生的20元＝290元
請問...那剩下的 10元呢？？？？
紐西蘭某大學提供這個題目後，受到廣大的迴響！
好多人到目前為止還是想不通．．．．．．．．
Thursday, June 24, 2010
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -
well-developed and open to trade, especially
for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada -
cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
THE END.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -
well-developed and open to trade, especially
for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada -
cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by nuts.
THE END.
Be careful on these new area codes
809 Area Code I actually received a call last week from the 809 area code.. The woman said 'Hey, this is Karen .
Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. I have something important to tell you.'
Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We did not respond.
Then this week, we received the following e-mail:
Do Not DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284, AND 876
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809
This one is being distributed all over the US ... This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call.
Be sure you read this and pass it on.
They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or
to tell you someone has been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc..
In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes
these days, people unknowingly return these calls.
If you call from the U.S. , you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute.
Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as
possible to increase the charges. WHY IT WORKS:
The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic …
The charges afterward can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call..
If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and
will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with
a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong.
Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam.
AT&T VERIFIES IT'S TRUE :http://www.att.com/gen/press-room?pid=6045
SNOPES VERIFIES IT'S TRUE:http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/809..asp
Sorry I missed you--get back to us quickly. I have something important to tell you.'
Then she repeated a phone number beginning with 809. We did not respond.
Then this week, we received the following e-mail:
Do Not DIAL AREA CODE 809, 284, AND 876
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION PROVIDED TO US BY AT&T. DON'T EVER DIAL AREA CODE 809
This one is being distributed all over the US ... This is pretty scary, especially given the way they try to get you to call.
Be sure you read this and pass it on.
They get you to call by telling you that it is information about a family member who has been ill or
to tell you someone has been arrested, died, or to let you know you have won a wonderful prize, etc..
In each case, you are told to call the 809 number right away. Since there are so many new area codes
these days, people unknowingly return these calls.
If you call from the U.S. , you will apparently be charged $2425 per-minute.
Or, you'll get a long recorded message. The point is, they will try to keep you on the phone as long as
possible to increase the charges. WHY IT WORKS:
The 809 area code is located in the Dominican Republic …
The charges afterward can become a real nightmare. That's because you did actually make the call..
If you complain, both your local phone company and your long distance carrier will not want to get involved and
will most likely tell you that they are simply providing the billing for the foreign company. You'll end up dealing with
a foreign company that argues they have done nothing wrong.
Please forward this entire message to your friends, family and colleagues to help them become aware of this scam.
AT&T VERIFIES IT'S TRUE :http://www.att.com/gen/press-room?pid=6045
SNOPES VERIFIES IT'S TRUE:http://www.snopes.com/fraud/telephone/809..asp
Asylum paradise on earth.
The got at least one wrong. They cross the chinese border to get lost in Hong Kong. Britain is not the only Asylum paradise on earth.
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE THAI BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY DEPORTED AFTER A SPELL IN THE MONKEY HOUSE.
IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY you get: A DRIVERS LICENCE, SOCIAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.
Good day and welcome to a brand new edition of . . .
'THE ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE !
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer..
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging, burgling and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Euro star.
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel... They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain ......
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience . .. .
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help - for FREE !
It won't cost you a penny. And . .. .
It could change your life forever.
So play today.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
Activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
Bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...the list is endless
EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN
COME ON DOWN !
Get along to the airport !
Get along to the lorry park !
Get along to the ferry terminal !
Don't stop in Germany or France !
All European countries will willingly speed you on your way !
Come straight to Britain
And you are:
**** GUARANTEED ****
To be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth..
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOUR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
IF YOU CROSS THE THAI BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY DEPORTED AFTER A SPELL IN THE MONKEY HOUSE.
IF YOU CROSS THE BRITISH BORDER ILLEGALLY you get: A DRIVERS LICENCE, SOCIAL INSURANCE CARD, MONEY FROM SOCIAL SECURITY, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDISED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION AND FREE HEALTH CARE.
Good day and welcome to a brand new edition of . . .
'THE ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE !
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,
The British Taxpayer..
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging, burgling and accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Euro star.
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable. All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of a Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to their luxury £200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel... They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Britain ......
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need to phone a friend or ask the audience . .. .
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help - for FREE !
It won't cost you a penny. And . .. .
It could change your life forever.
So play today.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
Activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
Bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...the list is endless
EVERYONE IS WELCOME - INCLUDING ALL YOUR OWN WIVES AND CHILDREN
COME ON DOWN !
Get along to the airport !
Get along to the lorry park !
Get along to the ferry terminal !
Don't stop in Germany or France !
All European countries will willingly speed you on your way !
Come straight to Britain
And you are:
**** GUARANTEED ****
To be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth..
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'
Where are the Canadians?
This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.
A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada ..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby ... ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says .... 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks ... 'Are you a Canadian ?'
She says , 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'
A Somali arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada ..
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says ... 'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby ... ' Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in Canada !'
The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says .... 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not Canadian !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks ... 'Are you a Canadian ?'
She says , 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians ?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Parking car in BJ
Click here.
From the portable parking space video, I will arrest the violator using by citizen arrest power and keep her in prison for life. It does not show how smart she is, but how relaxed is the law. It would not happen in US, except in movies. Hope it is made for fun, but not real.
From the portable parking space video, I will arrest the violator using by citizen arrest power and keep her in prison for life. It does not show how smart she is, but how relaxed is the law. It would not happen in US, except in movies. Hope it is made for fun, but not real.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Joe Legal and Jose Illegal
You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal".
Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California .
Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.
Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".
Ready? Now pay attention...
Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has
$31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.0 0 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has
$31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now
has $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per
year.. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.
Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631 .00.
Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month..
Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.
Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get
a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.
Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.
Do you get it, now?
If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegal aliens...
You are part of the problem!
It's way PAST time to take a stand for America and Americans!
What are you waiting for? Pass it on.
Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California .
Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.
Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".
Ready? Now pay attention...
Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has
$31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.0 0 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has
$31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now
has $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per
year.. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.
Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631 .00.
Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.
Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.
Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month..
Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.
Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get
a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.
Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.
Do you get it, now?
If you vote for or support any politician that supports illegal aliens...
You are part of the problem!
It's way PAST time to take a stand for America and Americans!
What are you waiting for? Pass it on.
精神病人妙語事例
精神病人妙語事例 1
病人A：「怎麼樣？這本書寫得還不錯吧？」. 病人B：「太好了！真是曠世鉅作。一點廢話都沒有，簡潔有力。不過有一個缺點，就是出場人物太多了！」
謢士：「喂！你們兩個.....快把電話薄放回去。」
精神病人妙語事例 2
有一位精神病院的醫生問患者︰「如果我把你的一隻耳朵割掉，你會怎麼樣？」
患者回答︰「那我會聽不到。」
醫生聽了︰「嗯，那很正常。如果我再把你另一隻耳朵也割掉，你會怎麼樣？」
患者回答︰「那我會看不到。」
醫生開始緊張︰「怎麼會看不到呢？」
患者回答︰「因為眼鏡會掉下來。」
精神病人妙語事例 3
神經病院有一位老太太，每天都穿著黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘，蹲在神經病院門口。
醫生就想要醫治她，一定要從了解她開始...
於是，那位醫生也穿黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘，和她一起蹲在那邊。
兩人不言不語的蹲了一個月.....
那位老太太終於開口和醫生說話了：「請...問一下!你...也是香菇嗎?」
精神病人妙語事例 4
一個精神病院的護士看到一個病人在寫信，非常好奇，想去偷瞄，可是病人不給她看。
護士忍不住問︰「給誰寫信啊？ 」
病人回答：「寫給我自己啊！」
護士好奇心更盛，心想：「怎會有人寫信給自己呢？！」
於是又問：「寫些什麼啊？」
病人說：「你神經病啊！！我還沒收到信，我怎麼會知道！」
精神病人妙語事例 5
有兩個精神病患者從病院裡逃出來。
兩人逃跑，爬上一棵樹，
其中一個人從樹上跳下來，在地上滾來滾去，
然後抬起頭對上面的同伴說︰「喂！你怎麼還不下來啊？」
上面的那個人回答他︰「不...行 ....啊！我還未熟透。」
精神病人妙語事例 6
一位病人來找精神科醫生︰「醫生，怎麼辦？我一直覺得我是一隻母雞。」
醫生︰「喔？！那很嚴重呀，怎麼現在才來求醫？」
病人︰「因為最近我的家人在等我生蛋啊！」
精神病人妙語事例 7
一個貨車司機送貨到精神病院，當他卸完貨準備回家時。忽然發現有一個輪子爆胎了。
於是他將那個爆掉的車胎拿下來，正準備換上備胎時。一個不小心，將固定車胎的
四個螺帽掉到水溝裡了，怎麼撿也撿不到。貨車司機不知如何是好。
此時，正好有一個精神病患者經過，就問司機怎麼了？
司機想，反正也沒有別的事可做，於是就把事情經過告訴精神病患者。
精神病患說：「這麼簡單的問題也解決不了，難怪你只能當貨車司機。你只要把剩下的三個車胎各拆一個螺帽下來，裝到第四個車胎上，然後開到最近的修車廠，補上剩下的螺帽就可以了。」
貨車司機敬佩之餘，不禁開口問道：「你這麼聰明，為什麼會住在精神病院？」
精神病患回答：「我住在這裡是因為我有精神病，不是因為笨！」
精神病人妙語事例 8
有一位病人來找精神科醫生：「醫生....怎麼辦？？我一直覺得我是一隻鳥！」
醫生：「喔！？那很嚴重喔！從什麼時候開始的？」
病人：「從我還是一隻小鳥的時候。」
精神病人妙語事例 9
有個神經病在床上唱著歌
唱著唱著就翻了個身
趴在枕頭上繼續唱
主治醫生問他：唱就唱阿!!翻身幹麻????????
神經病說：你很笨內A面唱完....當然要換B面ㄚ=.=
病人A：「怎麼樣？這本書寫得還不錯吧？」. 病人B：「太好了！真是曠世鉅作。一點廢話都沒有，簡潔有力。不過有一個缺點，就是出場人物太多了！」
謢士：「喂！你們兩個.....快把電話薄放回去。」
精神病人妙語事例 2
有一位精神病院的醫生問患者︰「如果我把你的一隻耳朵割掉，你會怎麼樣？」
患者回答︰「那我會聽不到。」
醫生聽了︰「嗯，那很正常。如果我再把你另一隻耳朵也割掉，你會怎麼樣？」
患者回答︰「那我會看不到。」
醫生開始緊張︰「怎麼會看不到呢？」
患者回答︰「因為眼鏡會掉下來。」
精神病人妙語事例 3
神經病院有一位老太太，每天都穿著黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘，蹲在神經病院門口。
醫生就想要醫治她，一定要從了解她開始...
於是，那位醫生也穿黑色的衣服，拿著黑色的雨傘，和她一起蹲在那邊。
兩人不言不語的蹲了一個月.....
那位老太太終於開口和醫生說話了：「請...問一下!你...也是香菇嗎?」
精神病人妙語事例 4
一個精神病院的護士看到一個病人在寫信，非常好奇，想去偷瞄，可是病人不給她看。
護士忍不住問︰「給誰寫信啊？ 」
病人回答：「寫給我自己啊！」
護士好奇心更盛，心想：「怎會有人寫信給自己呢？！」
於是又問：「寫些什麼啊？」
病人說：「你神經病啊！！我還沒收到信，我怎麼會知道！」
精神病人妙語事例 5
有兩個精神病患者從病院裡逃出來。
兩人逃跑，爬上一棵樹，
其中一個人從樹上跳下來，在地上滾來滾去，
然後抬起頭對上面的同伴說︰「喂！你怎麼還不下來啊？」
上面的那個人回答他︰「不...行 ....啊！我還未熟透。」
精神病人妙語事例 6
一位病人來找精神科醫生︰「醫生，怎麼辦？我一直覺得我是一隻母雞。」
醫生︰「喔？！那很嚴重呀，怎麼現在才來求醫？」
病人︰「因為最近我的家人在等我生蛋啊！」
精神病人妙語事例 7
一個貨車司機送貨到精神病院，當他卸完貨準備回家時。忽然發現有一個輪子爆胎了。
於是他將那個爆掉的車胎拿下來，正準備換上備胎時。一個不小心，將固定車胎的
四個螺帽掉到水溝裡了，怎麼撿也撿不到。貨車司機不知如何是好。
此時，正好有一個精神病患者經過，就問司機怎麼了？
司機想，反正也沒有別的事可做，於是就把事情經過告訴精神病患者。
精神病患說：「這麼簡單的問題也解決不了，難怪你只能當貨車司機。你只要把剩下的三個車胎各拆一個螺帽下來，裝到第四個車胎上，然後開到最近的修車廠，補上剩下的螺帽就可以了。」
貨車司機敬佩之餘，不禁開口問道：「你這麼聰明，為什麼會住在精神病院？」
精神病患回答：「我住在這裡是因為我有精神病，不是因為笨！」
精神病人妙語事例 8
有一位病人來找精神科醫生：「醫生....怎麼辦？？我一直覺得我是一隻鳥！」
醫生：「喔！？那很嚴重喔！從什麼時候開始的？」
病人：「從我還是一隻小鳥的時候。」
精神病人妙語事例 9
有個神經病在床上唱著歌
唱著唱著就翻了個身
趴在枕頭上繼續唱
主治醫生問他：唱就唱阿!!翻身幹麻????????
神經病說：你很笨內A面唱完....當然要換B面ㄚ=.=
不見冰箱不掉淚
一個叫做大衛的男人在生日時收到一份禮物是一隻鸚鵡
但這隻已長大的鸚鵡
不 但態度很差，還滿口的髒話
開口不是罵人的話，就是說粗話
大衛很努力的想改變這隻鸚鵡的態度
不斷地跟牠說些有禮貌的字眼
放輕柔的音樂.............
反正所有他想到可以給牠一個好榜樣的行為他都做了
但是都沒有用
於是他開始對鸚鵡吼了起來
鸚鵡也吼了回去
他用力搖晃鸚鵡
結果是讓鸚鵡更生氣
而且變得更加粗魯
終於在無可扼抑的憤怒之下
他把鸚鵡 關進了冰箱裡
幾分鐘後他便聽到鸚鵡粗聲大叫、到處亂踢
後來還尖叫了起來，卻立刻就安靜下來
三分鐘之內，他沒再聽到半點聲音
大衛被嚇著了
以為自己可能害死了鸚鵡
便馬上打開冰箱的門
只見鸚鵡很冷靜地走出來
並踏上大衛伸出的手臂
斯文說道：「相信我粗魯的言談和行為必定冒犯了你，我會努力改進我的行為，我真的很抱歉，希望主人您能夠原諒我。」
大衛對於鸚鵡態度上的轉變很是驚異
於是想要問鸚鵡這樣戲劇性的變化是為了什麼緣故的同時
鸚鵡又接著說道：
「嗯~~~我可以請問一下，裡面那隻全身被扒光毛的雞是做了什麼事嗎？」
記得每天要做三件事喔：
第一件：是笑(^_^)
第二件：是微笑(^o^)
第三件：是大笑(^O^)
相信你(妳)會有愉快的一天*^o^*
但這隻已長大的鸚鵡
不 但態度很差，還滿口的髒話
開口不是罵人的話，就是說粗話
大衛很努力的想改變這隻鸚鵡的態度
不斷地跟牠說些有禮貌的字眼
放輕柔的音樂.............
反正所有他想到可以給牠一個好榜樣的行為他都做了
但是都沒有用
於是他開始對鸚鵡吼了起來
鸚鵡也吼了回去
他用力搖晃鸚鵡
結果是讓鸚鵡更生氣
而且變得更加粗魯
終於在無可扼抑的憤怒之下
他把鸚鵡 關進了冰箱裡
幾分鐘後他便聽到鸚鵡粗聲大叫、到處亂踢
後來還尖叫了起來，卻立刻就安靜下來
三分鐘之內，他沒再聽到半點聲音
大衛被嚇著了
以為自己可能害死了鸚鵡
便馬上打開冰箱的門
只見鸚鵡很冷靜地走出來
並踏上大衛伸出的手臂
斯文說道：「相信我粗魯的言談和行為必定冒犯了你，我會努力改進我的行為，我真的很抱歉，希望主人您能夠原諒我。」
大衛對於鸚鵡態度上的轉變很是驚異
於是想要問鸚鵡這樣戲劇性的變化是為了什麼緣故的同時
鸚鵡又接著說道：
「嗯~~~我可以請問一下，裡面那隻全身被扒光毛的雞是做了什麼事嗎？」
記得每天要做三件事喔：
第一件：是笑(^_^)
第二件：是微笑(^o^)
第三件：是大笑(^O^)
相信你(妳)會有愉快的一天*^o^*
爆笑中文名
爆笑中文名
聽過一個李素寶...嫁左比個姓"簫"既...即係...
洪梅貴, 周新恆, 羅有大, 吳長大, 吳昭德, 吳美麗, 莫思科, 林花, 郭德雲, 麥生仁, 老來旺, 吳廣德, 畢可宜, 周蕙娟, 鍾樂海, 廖植彪, 柯蘭詩...
當中我覺得最好笑既係"劉比蒂","史塔蓋"
黃嘉嵐--->變綠?
"兩父子, 阿爸叫李杰, 個仔叫李仲杰"
"三兄妹: 游詠富, 游詠依, 游詠慈"... 游世伯, 咁大整古呀!"
上次去台灣某銀行唱台幣...睇一睇櫃面個名牌...
個服務員叫"吳曉郁"...一行六人冇個忍到笑....
我以前個班主任叫"吳樹喜"
我識得一個老師叫"周有松"!
仲有,有冇聽過人叫"陸浩昌, 伍浩昌"?
"陸浩昌先生, 請即到5號窗;伍浩昌先生,請即到6號窗!"
其實, 日文名都可以好好笑，
例如：吉川春代子，菊行條野，金其良美，鹿島條野，條野有次郎....
牛津 = 牛頭角津貼小學
哈佛 = 哈爾濱佛教中學
其實聯婚都好好笑，例如：賴廖聯婚，賴史聯婚
史家有四兄弟, 分別係....史泰龍,史太杰,史太香,史勞仁
有個人姓周, 做了紳士
吳潔芬, 唔......新時代女性，一於同居算。
有次o係商場，有個男人唔見o左個仔，於是就搵Security Guard 幫手, o係商場廣播，話佢爸爸o係門口等佢?
廣播內容係如下："徐家權小朋友，你爸爸徐定富o係門口等你?"
知唔知個「費」字做姓氏果陣讀「秘」音ga...
差人：差人查身分證....叫咩名.....
路人：費密(秘密)
差人：差人做野呀.....咪玩la.....
費密：都話費! 密(? 絞K)咯......
差人：仲玩？！阻差辦公呀.....拎身分證黎！
費密乖乖畀身分證差人.....
差人：哦....原來係費密(廢物丫?).....
費密：唔係呢...係費密丫(秘密)....
差人：費密(廢物)就費密(廢物)la....秘乜鬼密丫.....!!!
神神秘秘咁.....
係就係核突Ｄ......
費密：........-_-#!!!
A:你叫咩名呀?
B:鐘定英(中定英?)
A:中文啦
B:鐘定英呀~~~~
A:咁英文啦~~~~
B:Chong Ting Ying
A:................-_-#!!!
聽過一個李素寶...嫁左比個姓"簫"既...即係...
洪梅貴, 周新恆, 羅有大, 吳長大, 吳昭德, 吳美麗, 莫思科, 林花, 郭德雲, 麥生仁, 老來旺, 吳廣德, 畢可宜, 周蕙娟, 鍾樂海, 廖植彪, 柯蘭詩...
當中我覺得最好笑既係"劉比蒂","史塔蓋"
黃嘉嵐--->變綠?
"兩父子, 阿爸叫李杰, 個仔叫李仲杰"
"三兄妹: 游詠富, 游詠依, 游詠慈"... 游世伯, 咁大整古呀!"
上次去台灣某銀行唱台幣...睇一睇櫃面個名牌...
個服務員叫"吳曉郁"...一行六人冇個忍到笑....
我以前個班主任叫"吳樹喜"
我識得一個老師叫"周有松"!
仲有,有冇聽過人叫"陸浩昌, 伍浩昌"?
"陸浩昌先生, 請即到5號窗;伍浩昌先生,請即到6號窗!"
其實, 日文名都可以好好笑，
例如：吉川春代子，菊行條野，金其良美，鹿島條野，條野有次郎....
牛津 = 牛頭角津貼小學
哈佛 = 哈爾濱佛教中學
其實聯婚都好好笑，例如：賴廖聯婚，賴史聯婚
史家有四兄弟, 分別係....史泰龍,史太杰,史太香,史勞仁
有個人姓周, 做了紳士
吳潔芬, 唔......新時代女性，一於同居算。
有次o係商場，有個男人唔見o左個仔，於是就搵Security Guard 幫手, o係商場廣播，話佢爸爸o係門口等佢?
廣播內容係如下："徐家權小朋友，你爸爸徐定富o係門口等你?"
知唔知個「費」字做姓氏果陣讀「秘」音ga...
差人：差人查身分證....叫咩名.....
路人：費密(秘密)
差人：差人做野呀.....咪玩la.....
費密：都話費! 密(? 絞K)咯......
差人：仲玩？！阻差辦公呀.....拎身分證黎！
費密乖乖畀身分證差人.....
差人：哦....原來係費密(廢物丫?).....
費密：唔係呢...係費密丫(秘密)....
差人：費密(廢物)就費密(廢物)la....秘乜鬼密丫.....!!!
神神秘秘咁.....
係就係核突Ｄ......
費密：........-_-#!!!
A:你叫咩名呀?
B:鐘定英(中定英?)
A:中文啦
B:鐘定英呀~~~~
A:咁英文啦~~~~
B:Chong Ting Ying
A:................-_-#!!!
Illegal immigrats
A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!!
It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, 'No! I like it here. It's better than my house. I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to feed me
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
My husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest. (except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so that you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!
America is populated and governed by idiots.
If you agree, pass it on (in English).
If not blow it off.........
along with your future Social Security funds and a lot of the former benefits of being an American Citizen.
It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Her point:
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.
Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, 'No! I like it here. It's better than my house. I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to feed me
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
My husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest. (except for that breaking in part).
If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house.
And what a deal it is for me!!!
I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, and I DEMAND that you learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so that you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!
America is populated and governed by idiots.
If you agree, pass it on (in English).
If not blow it off.........
along with your future Social Security funds and a lot of the former benefits of being an American Citizen.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Chinese links
Sinovision. Simplified Chiense.
Canton Today Video under SinoVision. I spent an interesting hour already.
ChinaHistory forum.
Fool's Mountain. I contributed some articles for fun.
Canton Today Video under SinoVision. I spent an interesting hour already.
ChinaHistory forum.
Fool's Mountain. I contributed some articles for fun.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Thoughts to ponder
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
3. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
4. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
5. IF A DEAF CHILD SAYS SWEAR WORDS IN SIGN LANGUAGE, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
6. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
7. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
8. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
9. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
10. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
11. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
12. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
13. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
14. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
15. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
16. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
17. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL BUT SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
25. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
26. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
27. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
28. CAN ATHEISTS GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
3. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
4. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
5. IF A DEAF CHILD SAYS SWEAR WORDS IN SIGN LANGUAGE, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
6. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
7. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
8. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
9. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
10. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
11. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
12. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
13. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
14. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
15. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
16. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
17. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
18. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
20. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
21. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
22. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
23. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL BUT SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
24. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
25. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
26. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
27. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
28. CAN ATHEISTS GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
Woman says 3D porno made her pregnant
Husband claims "anything is possible"
An American woman claims she became pregant after watching a 3D porno.
US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical.
It seems he actually buys her story, however. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible,” he said.
What's even more interesting is that both Jennifer and Erick are white, but the child is black. Jeniffer claims the kid looks like the black pornstar she had been ogling. She also claims this was one of the first times she's watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect. TechEye did a survey of one person and found 100 percent would say the same thing in a similar situation.
“Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk,” Jennifer said. “But he knows I’m faithful.” It just shows you what joining the military does to your head.
Jennifer explained that “a month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” That must have been one good porno.
3D movies have gained renewed popularity since Avatar, but there have been some concerns raised over how bad they may be for your eyes. Now you'll have to worry about conceiving in the cinema.
You may have jumped when an object in film was thrown at the camera, but now you'll have to be careful of other, far more uncouth things flying at you. TechEye recommends contraception for your next trip to the cinema. You never know.
http://www.techeye.net/internet/woman-says-3d-porno-made-her-pregnant
An American woman claims she became pregant after watching a 3D porno.
US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical.
It seems he actually buys her story, however. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible,” he said.
What's even more interesting is that both Jennifer and Erick are white, but the child is black. Jeniffer claims the kid looks like the black pornstar she had been ogling. She also claims this was one of the first times she's watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect. TechEye did a survey of one person and found 100 percent would say the same thing in a similar situation.
“Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk,” Jennifer said. “But he knows I’m faithful.” It just shows you what joining the military does to your head.
Jennifer explained that “a month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” That must have been one good porno.
3D movies have gained renewed popularity since Avatar, but there have been some concerns raised over how bad they may be for your eyes. Now you'll have to worry about conceiving in the cinema.
You may have jumped when an object in film was thrown at the camera, but now you'll have to be careful of other, far more uncouth things flying at you. TechEye recommends contraception for your next trip to the cinema. You never know.
http://www.techeye.net/internet/woman-says-3d-porno-made-her-pregnant
A lady at the bar
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn't matter to me. I just love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm in Congress too.
What state are you from?"
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm in Congress too.
What state are you from?"
How much is beauty worth?
回答很精辟.增值与?值.??与租用.
年輕漂亮的女孩想嫁個有錢人（金融家的回覆令人拍案叫絕)！
一個年輕漂亮的美國女孩在美國一家大型網上論壇金融版上發表了這樣一個問題帖︰我怎樣才能嫁給有錢人？
我下面要說的都是心裡話。本人 25 歲，非常漂亮，是那種讓人驚艷的漂亮，談吐文雅，有品位，想嫁給年薪 50 萬美元的人。你也許會說我貪心，但在紐約年薪
100 萬才算是中產，本人的要求其實不高。這個版上有沒有年薪超過 50 萬的人？你們都結婚了嗎？我想請教各位一個問題 ——
怎樣才能嫁給你們這樣的有錢人？
我約會過的人中，最有錢的年薪 25 萬，這似乎是我的上限。要住進紐約中心公園以西的高尚住宅區，年薪 25
萬遠遠不夠。我是來誠心誠意請教的。有幾個具體的問題︰
一、有錢的單身漢一般都在哪裡消磨時光？（請列出酒吧、飯店、健身房的名字和詳細地址。）
二、我應該把目標定在哪個年齡段？
三、為什麼有些富豪的妻子看起來相貌平平？我見過有些女孩，長相如同白開水，毫無吸引人的地方，但她們卻能嫁入豪門。而單身酒吧裡那些迷死人的美女卻運氣不佳。
四、你們怎麼決定誰能做妻子，誰只能做女朋友？（我現在的目標是結婚。）
—— 波爾斯女士 ——
下面是一個華爾街金融家的回帖︰
親愛的波爾斯︰我懷著極大的興趣看完了貴帖，相信不少女士也有跟你類似的疑問。讓我以一個投資專家的身份，對你的處境做一分析。我年薪超過 50
萬，符合你的擇偶標準，所以請相信我並不是在浪費大家的時間。
從生意人的角度來看，跟你結婚是個糟糕的經營決策，道理再明白不過，請聽我解釋。拋開細枝末節，你所說的其實是一筆簡單的“財”“貌”交易︰甲方提供述人的外表，乙方出錢，公平交易，童叟無欺。但是，這裡有個致命的問題，你的美貌會消逝，但我的錢卻不會無緣無故減少。事實上，我的收入很可能會逐年遞增．而你不可能一年比一年漂亮。因此，從經濟學的角度講，我是增值資產，你是貶值資產，不但貶值，而且是加速貶值！你現在
25 歲，在未來的五年裡，你仍可以保持窈窕的身段，俏麗的容貌，雖然每年略有退步。但美貌消逝的速度會越來越快，如果它是你僅有的資產，十年以後你的價值甚憂。
用華爾街術語說，每筆交易都有一個倉位，跟你交往屬於「交易倉位（Trading Position）」，一旦價值下跌就要立即拋售，而不宜長期持有 ——
也就是你想要的婚姻。聽起來很殘忍，但對一件會加速貶值的物資，明智的選擇是租賃，而不是購入。年薪能超過 50
萬的人，當然都不是傻瓜，因此我們只會跟你交往，但不會跟你結婚。所以我勸你不要苦苦尋找嫁給有錢人的秘方。順便說一句，你倒可以想辦法把自己變成年薪 50
萬的人，這比踫到一個有錢的傻瓜的勝算要大。
希望我的回帖能對你有幫助。如果你對“租賃”感興趣，請跟我聯系。
—— 羅波．坎貝爾（J‧P‧摩根銀行多種產業投資顧問）——
年輕漂亮的女孩想嫁個有錢人（金融家的回覆令人拍案叫絕)！
一個年輕漂亮的美國女孩在美國一家大型網上論壇金融版上發表了這樣一個問題帖︰我怎樣才能嫁給有錢人？
我下面要說的都是心裡話。本人 25 歲，非常漂亮，是那種讓人驚艷的漂亮，談吐文雅，有品位，想嫁給年薪 50 萬美元的人。你也許會說我貪心，但在紐約年薪
100 萬才算是中產，本人的要求其實不高。這個版上有沒有年薪超過 50 萬的人？你們都結婚了嗎？我想請教各位一個問題 ——
怎樣才能嫁給你們這樣的有錢人？
我約會過的人中，最有錢的年薪 25 萬，這似乎是我的上限。要住進紐約中心公園以西的高尚住宅區，年薪 25
萬遠遠不夠。我是來誠心誠意請教的。有幾個具體的問題︰
一、有錢的單身漢一般都在哪裡消磨時光？（請列出酒吧、飯店、健身房的名字和詳細地址。）
二、我應該把目標定在哪個年齡段？
三、為什麼有些富豪的妻子看起來相貌平平？我見過有些女孩，長相如同白開水，毫無吸引人的地方，但她們卻能嫁入豪門。而單身酒吧裡那些迷死人的美女卻運氣不佳。
四、你們怎麼決定誰能做妻子，誰只能做女朋友？（我現在的目標是結婚。）
—— 波爾斯女士 ——
下面是一個華爾街金融家的回帖︰
親愛的波爾斯︰我懷著極大的興趣看完了貴帖，相信不少女士也有跟你類似的疑問。讓我以一個投資專家的身份，對你的處境做一分析。我年薪超過 50
萬，符合你的擇偶標準，所以請相信我並不是在浪費大家的時間。
從生意人的角度來看，跟你結婚是個糟糕的經營決策，道理再明白不過，請聽我解釋。拋開細枝末節，你所說的其實是一筆簡單的“財”“貌”交易︰甲方提供述人的外表，乙方出錢，公平交易，童叟無欺。但是，這裡有個致命的問題，你的美貌會消逝，但我的錢卻不會無緣無故減少。事實上，我的收入很可能會逐年遞增．而你不可能一年比一年漂亮。因此，從經濟學的角度講，我是增值資產，你是貶值資產，不但貶值，而且是加速貶值！你現在
25 歲，在未來的五年裡，你仍可以保持窈窕的身段，俏麗的容貌，雖然每年略有退步。但美貌消逝的速度會越來越快，如果它是你僅有的資產，十年以後你的價值甚憂。
用華爾街術語說，每筆交易都有一個倉位，跟你交往屬於「交易倉位（Trading Position）」，一旦價值下跌就要立即拋售，而不宜長期持有 ——
也就是你想要的婚姻。聽起來很殘忍，但對一件會加速貶值的物資，明智的選擇是租賃，而不是購入。年薪能超過 50
萬的人，當然都不是傻瓜，因此我們只會跟你交往，但不會跟你結婚。所以我勸你不要苦苦尋找嫁給有錢人的秘方。順便說一句，你倒可以想辦法把自己變成年薪 50
萬的人，這比踫到一個有錢的傻瓜的勝算要大。
希望我的回帖能對你有幫助。如果你對“租賃”感興趣，請跟我聯系。
—— 羅波．坎貝爾（J‧P‧摩根銀行多種產業投資顧問）——
Marriage
When a man steals your wife, there's no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Lee Majors
After marriage, husband and wife become 2 sides of a coin; they just can't face each other but still they stay together.
Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson
The great question which I haven't been able to answer is, "What does a woman want?"
George Clooney
I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant 2 times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W Bush
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for 2 years.
Rudy Giuliani
There's a way of transferring funds that's even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Michael Jordan
I've had bad luck with all my wives. The 1st one left me and the 2nd one didn’t. The 3rd gave me more children!
Donald Trump
2 secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1) Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2) Whenever you're right, shut up. Shaquille O’Neal
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received 100 letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt
1st Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" 2nd Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel
"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today because a lady went first!"
David Letterman
1st there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, soon after comes suffering!
Jay Leno
Lee Majors
After marriage, husband and wife become 2 sides of a coin; they just can't face each other but still they stay together.
Al Gore
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson
The great question which I haven't been able to answer is, "What does a woman want?"
George Clooney
I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant 2 times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W Bush
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for 2 years.
Rudy Giuliani
There's a way of transferring funds that's even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Michael Jordan
I've had bad luck with all my wives. The 1st one left me and the 2nd one didn’t. The 3rd gave me more children!
Donald Trump
2 secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1) Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2) Whenever you're right, shut up. Shaquille O’Neal
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Kobe Bryant
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
David Hasselhoff
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received 100 letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Brad Pitt
1st Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" 2nd Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel
"Honey, what happened to 'ladies first'?" Husband replies, "That's the reason why the world's a mess today because a lady went first!"
David Letterman
1st there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, soon after comes suffering!
Jay Leno
Funny Chinese names
聽過一個李素寶...嫁左比個姓"簫"既...即係...
洪梅貴, 周新恆, 羅有大, 吳長大, 吳昭德, 吳美麗, 莫思科, 林花, 郭德雲, 麥生仁, 老來旺, 吳廣德, 畢可宜, 周蕙娟, 鍾樂海, 廖植彪, 劉比蒂, 史塔蓋柯蘭詩, 黃嘉嵐--->變綠 ?
"兩父子, 阿爸叫李杰, 個仔叫李仲杰"
"三兄妹: 游詠富, 游詠依, 游詠慈"... 游世伯, 咁大整古呀!"
上次去台灣某銀行兌換台幣...睇一睇櫃面個名牌... 個服務員叫"吳曉郁"...一行六人冇個忍到笑.... 仲有,有冇聽過人叫"陸浩昌, 伍浩昌"?
"陸浩昌先生, 請即到5號窗;伍浩昌先生,請即到6號窗!"
我以前個班主任叫"吳樹喜"
我識得一個老師叫"周有松"!
其實, 日文名都可以好好笑，
例如：吉川春代子，菊行條野，金其良美，鹿島條野，條野有次郎.....
牛津 = 牛頭角津貼小學
哈佛 = 哈爾濱佛教中學
其實聯婚都好好笑，例如：賴廖聯婚，賴史聯婚
史家有四兄弟, 分別係....史泰龍,史太杰,史太香,史勞仁
有個人姓周, 做了紳士
吳潔芬, 唔......新時代女性，一於同居算。
有次在商場，有個男人唔見左個仔，於是就搵Security Guard 幫手, 在商場廣播，話佢爸爸在門口等佢?
廣播內容係如下："徐家權小朋友，你爸爸徐定富在門口等你."
知唔知個「費」字做姓氏果陣讀「秘」音...
差人：差人查身分證.....叫咩名.....
路人：費密(秘密)
差人：差人做野呀.....咪玩la.....
費密：都話費! 密(? 絞K)咯.......
差人：仲玩？！阻差辦公呀.....拎身分證黎！
費密乖乖畀身分證差人.....
差人：哦.....原來係費密(廢物丫?).....
費密：唔係呢....係費密丫(秘密)....
差人：費密(廢物)就費密(廢物)la....秘乜鬼密丫.....!!!
神神秘秘咁.....
係就係核突Ｄ......
費密：.........-_-#!!!
A:你叫咩名呀?
B:鐘定英(中定英?)
A:中文啦
B:鐘定英呀~~~~
A:咁英文啦~~~~
B:Chong Ting Ying
A:................-_-#!!!
洪梅貴, 周新恆, 羅有大, 吳長大, 吳昭德, 吳美麗, 莫思科, 林花, 郭德雲, 麥生仁, 老來旺, 吳廣德, 畢可宜, 周蕙娟, 鍾樂海, 廖植彪, 劉比蒂, 史塔蓋柯蘭詩, 黃嘉嵐--->變綠 ?
"兩父子, 阿爸叫李杰, 個仔叫李仲杰"
"三兄妹: 游詠富, 游詠依, 游詠慈"... 游世伯, 咁大整古呀!"
上次去台灣某銀行兌換台幣...睇一睇櫃面個名牌... 個服務員叫"吳曉郁"...一行六人冇個忍到笑.... 仲有,有冇聽過人叫"陸浩昌, 伍浩昌"?
"陸浩昌先生, 請即到5號窗;伍浩昌先生,請即到6號窗!"
我以前個班主任叫"吳樹喜"
我識得一個老師叫"周有松"!
其實, 日文名都可以好好笑，
例如：吉川春代子，菊行條野，金其良美，鹿島條野，條野有次郎.....
牛津 = 牛頭角津貼小學
哈佛 = 哈爾濱佛教中學
其實聯婚都好好笑，例如：賴廖聯婚，賴史聯婚
史家有四兄弟, 分別係....史泰龍,史太杰,史太香,史勞仁
有個人姓周, 做了紳士
吳潔芬, 唔......新時代女性，一於同居算。
有次在商場，有個男人唔見左個仔，於是就搵Security Guard 幫手, 在商場廣播，話佢爸爸在門口等佢?
廣播內容係如下："徐家權小朋友，你爸爸徐定富在門口等你."
知唔知個「費」字做姓氏果陣讀「秘」音...
差人：差人查身分證.....叫咩名.....
路人：費密(秘密)
差人：差人做野呀.....咪玩la.....
費密：都話費! 密(? 絞K)咯.......
差人：仲玩？！阻差辦公呀.....拎身分證黎！
費密乖乖畀身分證差人.....
差人：哦.....原來係費密(廢物丫?).....
費密：唔係呢....係費密丫(秘密)....
差人：費密(廢物)就費密(廢物)la....秘乜鬼密丫.....!!!
神神秘秘咁.....
係就係核突Ｄ......
費密：.........-_-#!!!
A:你叫咩名呀?
B:鐘定英(中定英?)
A:中文啦
B:鐘定英呀~~~~
A:咁英文啦~~~~
B:Chong Ting Ying
A:................-_-#!!!
this is your captain speaking
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and...... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled... 'For f*#k's sake ... you should see the back of mine!'
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain.Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and...... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed!
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.
'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
One Irish passenger yelled... 'For f*#k's sake ... you should see the back of mine!'
暫時減輕壓力
香港的語文文化在世界上是獨特一格的，通常都是中西合璧，在一句說話中常常夾雜著一些英文，甚至只帶單一個英文字。在香港生活的人見怪不怪，習以為常。不知在國內或居住在世界各地的華人覺得怎樣。
近日朋友寄來一位仁兄的大作，看似打油詩，也像數白欖。讀起來相當押諳，因為每句尾都有一個英文字加上 " ing " ，意思非常貼切兼傳神。是一篇不可多得的現代潮流之通俗文字。在繁忙工作中，抽空細心欣賞，可以幫你輕鬆一下，暫時減輕壓力，不失為一清涼劑。相信此種文字在中國文化歷史中或許有機會留一小小位置。
人生何處不 laughing
閉上眼好好 thinking , 人生就像一幅 painting，
點點滴滴如何 coloring，還看你今怎樣 planning？
有人怨天尤人經常 crying，有人餐搵餐食掛住 shopping，
有人遊戲人間鍾情 playing，有人空談理想齋 talking；
也有人永不停步不斷 struggling，像薛家燕雖然百病纏身令她 suffering，
但為了子女將來的美好 living，依然不理手術後傷口仍在 paining，
繼續拍劇繼續 working，令聞者 worrying，聽者 touching，
都說母愛永遠最是 shinning。
時光列車在身旁高速 passing，頭上白髮告訴你青春不會 waiting，
你不期然開始 wondering，為何幸運之神總是未有 coming，
前路數之不盡的蕉皮令你slipping，成功的燈塔卻遠在天邊未能climbing，
莫非永遠龍游淺水，就像那條座頭鯨? swimming？
當初百多元買入匯豐當作 saving，誰知股票一再 falling，
怎不教人 shocking？
既然捉不到高位沽貨的 timing，又經歷身家大縮水的 losing，
開始看透富貴只如天際 clouding，這分鐘享受 winning，下一秒卻只有 nothing。
何不找一個陽光普照的 morning，走到郊外試試 hiking，
聽小鳥無愁地 singing，看地上蟻群悠閒地 walking，
還有風聲蟬鳴蛙叫讓你 listening；再放眼 looking，
天上飛鳥自在地 flying，是不是很好 feeling？
誰說人生 boring？
看大自然的 amazing，感受活的 pleasing! 來吧！ do something！
不要沉迷於 drinking或sleeping，總有人令你 missing，總有目標讓你朝running，
哪怕 dying，哪怕 raining，信自己是最 charming，
替自己在生命冊上預留一個 booking，寫下無悔今生的 happy ending！
最後讓我們 ask for God's blessing!
近日朋友寄來一位仁兄的大作，看似打油詩，也像數白欖。讀起來相當押諳，因為每句尾都有一個英文字加上 " ing " ，意思非常貼切兼傳神。是一篇不可多得的現代潮流之通俗文字。在繁忙工作中，抽空細心欣賞，可以幫你輕鬆一下，暫時減輕壓力，不失為一清涼劑。相信此種文字在中國文化歷史中或許有機會留一小小位置。
人生何處不 laughing
閉上眼好好 thinking , 人生就像一幅 painting，
點點滴滴如何 coloring，還看你今怎樣 planning？
有人怨天尤人經常 crying，有人餐搵餐食掛住 shopping，
有人遊戲人間鍾情 playing，有人空談理想齋 talking；
也有人永不停步不斷 struggling，像薛家燕雖然百病纏身令她 suffering，
但為了子女將來的美好 living，依然不理手術後傷口仍在 paining，
繼續拍劇繼續 working，令聞者 worrying，聽者 touching，
都說母愛永遠最是 shinning。
時光列車在身旁高速 passing，頭上白髮告訴你青春不會 waiting，
你不期然開始 wondering，為何幸運之神總是未有 coming，
前路數之不盡的蕉皮令你slipping，成功的燈塔卻遠在天邊未能climbing，
莫非永遠龍游淺水，就像那條座頭鯨? swimming？
當初百多元買入匯豐當作 saving，誰知股票一再 falling，
怎不教人 shocking？
既然捉不到高位沽貨的 timing，又經歷身家大縮水的 losing，
開始看透富貴只如天際 clouding，這分鐘享受 winning，下一秒卻只有 nothing。
何不找一個陽光普照的 morning，走到郊外試試 hiking，
聽小鳥無愁地 singing，看地上蟻群悠閒地 walking，
還有風聲蟬鳴蛙叫讓你 listening；再放眼 looking，
天上飛鳥自在地 flying，是不是很好 feeling？
誰說人生 boring？
看大自然的 amazing，感受活的 pleasing! 來吧！ do something！
不要沉迷於 drinking或sleeping，總有人令你 missing，總有目標讓你朝running，
哪怕 dying，哪怕 raining，信自己是最 charming，
替自己在生命冊上預留一個 booking，寫下無悔今生的 happy ending！
最後讓我們 ask for God's blessing!
生薑
橫掃寒涼全無敵--生薑就是「還魂」藥
中醫世界│首頁
作者：馬悅凌
生薑祛病保健的方法由來已久。早在春秋時代，孔子就有一年四季不離薑的習慣，在《論語。鄉黨》中有：「不撤薑食，不多食」之說。南宋朱熹在《論語集注》中說：「薑能通神明，去穢惡，幫不撤。」在現存最早的中藥專著《神農本草經》也有關於薑的記載：「乾姜，味辛溫，主胸胸滿，咳逆上氣，溫中止血、出汗、逐風；溫脾，腸辟下痢。」李時珍在《本草糾目》中也推崇薑的妙用：「薑，辛而不勞，可蔬，可和，可果，可藥。」生薑熬的湯還有一個別名叫「還魂湯」。在蘇東坡的《雜證》中也曾記載，錢塘淨慈寺的和尚，八十多歲，顏色如童子，問其故，「自言服生薑四十年，故不老雲」。民間也有「朝含三片薑，不用開藥方」，「冬有生薑，不怕風霜」，「冬吃蘿蔔夏吃薑，不勞醫生開藥方」，「家備小薑，小病不慌」等說法。
生薑性溫，其特有的「薑辣素」能刺激胃腸黏膜，使胃、腸道充血，消化能力增強，能有效地治療吃寒涼食物過多而引起的腹脹、腹痛、腹瀉、嘔吐等。
吃過生薑後，人會有身體發熱的感覺，這是因為它能使血管擴張，血液循環加快，促使身上的毛孔張開，這樣不但能把多餘的熱帶走，同時還把體內的病菌、寒氣一同帶出。所以，當身體吃了寒涼之物，受了雨淋，或在空調房間裏呆久後，吃生薑就能及時排除寒氣，消除因肌體寒重造成的各種不適。
下面針對一些常見病來介紹一下生薑的不同用法：
受涼感冒：用生薑3～4片加半勺紅糖煮水喝，一日2～3次。
感冒伴有咳嗽：生薑3～4片、大蒜7～8瓣加紅糖半勺一起煮，一日2～3次。
感冒伴有發熱：在生薑、紅糖水中再加入大蔥1根，一次2～3次。
吃過食物後腹脹：可直接口含生薑片，或喝生薑水，一會兒就能緩解。
受涼引起腹瀉：用燒開的生薑水沖雞蛋，一日2～3次，很快就好，腹瀉停止後再喝一天，以鞏固療效，暖胃腸。
空調房間呆久後引起的渾身發緊，頭發脹：隨時口含生薑片或每天在用2～3片生薑泡水喝，身體的不適馬上消除。
口腔潰瘍、牙周炎、口臭丶喉嚨發癢：口含生薑片或煮生薑水喝就能治癒，以後只要不吃寒涼食物，就不會復發。
咽喉腫痛：在熱薑水中加入少許的食鹽，當茶飲用。
孕期嘔吐：經常口含一片生薑就能治療和預防。
小兒吐奶：用1～2片生薑煮水喝後再餵奶。
消化不良、食欲不振：生薑和紅棗(切片)一起煮水喝，一日2次，就能開胃。
關節痛：每天早上起床後吃幾片生薑或者煮薑棗水喝，一-日3次堅持吃能明顯緩解關節的疼痛。
痛經：在生薑、紅糖水裏再加入2～3粒山楂，一日2～3次即好。
酒後頭痛、頭暈：可用生薑煮水喝，馬上緩解。手腳已生凍瘡但未破潰：可用生薑煮水泡手、泡腳。
長痱子：用生薑切片外擦，痱於很快就退，大人孩子都可用。
頭屑多、掉髮：經常用溫薑水洗頭，效果不錯可試試。
狐臭：每天用生薑片多擦凡次，能明顯減少臭味。
另外，生薑還有解毒的功能。如誤食了毒覃，輕者會舌麻、噁心、嘔吐，最好的方法就是趕緊口嚼生薑，連吃幾片，怕辣的人就多切幾片生薑煮水喝，要連喝幾次至症狀完全消失；重者會引起神志不清、昏迷，在送入醫院搶救後，等病情穩定了之後，就給病人喝生薑水，這樣能更快速地驅除毒質。
中年男士易患高血壓病，是由於體內寒濕重，經絡瘀堵不暢造成的。可以在每晚泡腳的水中加入生薑，有助於去寒、降血壓。同時生薑又是助陽之品，自古以來中醫就有「男子不可百日無薑」之說，常用生薑水泡腳既可以去寒又不上火，而且降壓、補腎，同時可以治療男性前列腺炎等疾病。
生薑唯一的不足之處就是常吃會引起肝火旺，所以一般情況下，肝炎病人是忌吃的，口乾、便秘、患痔瘡的病人也要少吃。
克制吃薑引起的肝火旺，可以同時配一些舒肝、理氣的食物，如山楂、菊花，用它們泡茶喝，這樣就可以消除生薑引起的燥熱而不傷身體。
有一位94歲的老將軍，是我見到的高齡老人中身體最棒的，從外表上看絕對猜不出他的年齡，像是六十多歲一樣。他臉色紅潤，皺紋很少，，而且還沒有老人斑，步履輕盈，一點沒有一般老人走路時的沉重感。老將軍的記憶力非常好，思維特別敏捷，他說從未感覺自己老了，也從未覺得身體是自己的負擔。我看了看老人的手相，又摸了第二掌骨，證實老人確實身體硬朗，沒有多病的跡象，只是小魚際處略偏紅，這是陰虛火旺之人的共同特徵，再看老人的舌頭，舌邊上有些發紅，證明他有些肝火旺。我就跟老人說，您身體內熱有些大吧。老人點頭稱是，因為他特別喜歡吃生的薑和蒜，幾乎每天中午、晚上吃飯時都會吃上一些，已堅持了幾十年，因為長年吃生薑，身體內的寒濕就無法立足，經絡也就一直暢通，自然就沒有明顯的衰老和多病的情況出現。
老人又告訴我他每天用3～4朵菊花、山楂、幾粒枸杞、少量的決明子和一點綠茶，用滾開的水沖泡後，就是他每天喝的茶，這種飲法堅持了很久。我想，就是這些舒肝、理氣的茶，緩解了老人長年吃薑、蒜造成的內熱大、肝火旺，使他的身體一直保持一種平衡、和諧。如果老人只是吃薑、蒜，長年下來他的肝臟會受不了，眼睛也會出現問題的；但如果只喝舒肝、理氣的茶，身體就會氣虚、冷氣、抵抗力下降，久之就会生病。而老人将二者綜合起來，既用薑、蒜驅了寒，活了血，又及時疏理了肝火，不致瘀堵。而且，老人的飲食十分注重營養，近年來除了飯量比以前少了一些，飲食習慣幾乎沒變，照樣吃魚、蝦和各種肉，還經常會喝上幾兩白酒，老將軍說：「我的目標是150歲，我相信我能做到。」!
薑
在家煮飯燒菜所用的生薑只要有一部分爛掉
便要整個丟棄
千萬不要捨不得只把爛的切掉
留下好的繼續燒菜
因為薑腐爛時
薑體會產生很強的“黃樟素”
人體吃進黃樟素會造成肝細胞病變
嚴重影響身體健康
所以婆婆媽媽們不要因小失大
薑爛了就整個丟掉~
中醫世界│首頁
作者：馬悅凌
生薑祛病保健的方法由來已久。早在春秋時代，孔子就有一年四季不離薑的習慣，在《論語。鄉黨》中有：「不撤薑食，不多食」之說。南宋朱熹在《論語集注》中說：「薑能通神明，去穢惡，幫不撤。」在現存最早的中藥專著《神農本草經》也有關於薑的記載：「乾姜，味辛溫，主胸胸滿，咳逆上氣，溫中止血、出汗、逐風；溫脾，腸辟下痢。」李時珍在《本草糾目》中也推崇薑的妙用：「薑，辛而不勞，可蔬，可和，可果，可藥。」生薑熬的湯還有一個別名叫「還魂湯」。在蘇東坡的《雜證》中也曾記載，錢塘淨慈寺的和尚，八十多歲，顏色如童子，問其故，「自言服生薑四十年，故不老雲」。民間也有「朝含三片薑，不用開藥方」，「冬有生薑，不怕風霜」，「冬吃蘿蔔夏吃薑，不勞醫生開藥方」，「家備小薑，小病不慌」等說法。
生薑性溫，其特有的「薑辣素」能刺激胃腸黏膜，使胃、腸道充血，消化能力增強，能有效地治療吃寒涼食物過多而引起的腹脹、腹痛、腹瀉、嘔吐等。
吃過生薑後，人會有身體發熱的感覺，這是因為它能使血管擴張，血液循環加快，促使身上的毛孔張開，這樣不但能把多餘的熱帶走，同時還把體內的病菌、寒氣一同帶出。所以，當身體吃了寒涼之物，受了雨淋，或在空調房間裏呆久後，吃生薑就能及時排除寒氣，消除因肌體寒重造成的各種不適。
下面針對一些常見病來介紹一下生薑的不同用法：
受涼感冒：用生薑3～4片加半勺紅糖煮水喝，一日2～3次。
感冒伴有咳嗽：生薑3～4片、大蒜7～8瓣加紅糖半勺一起煮，一日2～3次。
感冒伴有發熱：在生薑、紅糖水中再加入大蔥1根，一次2～3次。
吃過食物後腹脹：可直接口含生薑片，或喝生薑水，一會兒就能緩解。
受涼引起腹瀉：用燒開的生薑水沖雞蛋，一日2～3次，很快就好，腹瀉停止後再喝一天，以鞏固療效，暖胃腸。
空調房間呆久後引起的渾身發緊，頭發脹：隨時口含生薑片或每天在用2～3片生薑泡水喝，身體的不適馬上消除。
口腔潰瘍、牙周炎、口臭丶喉嚨發癢：口含生薑片或煮生薑水喝就能治癒，以後只要不吃寒涼食物，就不會復發。
咽喉腫痛：在熱薑水中加入少許的食鹽，當茶飲用。
孕期嘔吐：經常口含一片生薑就能治療和預防。
小兒吐奶：用1～2片生薑煮水喝後再餵奶。
消化不良、食欲不振：生薑和紅棗(切片)一起煮水喝，一日2次，就能開胃。
關節痛：每天早上起床後吃幾片生薑或者煮薑棗水喝，一-日3次堅持吃能明顯緩解關節的疼痛。
痛經：在生薑、紅糖水裏再加入2～3粒山楂，一日2～3次即好。
酒後頭痛、頭暈：可用生薑煮水喝，馬上緩解。手腳已生凍瘡但未破潰：可用生薑煮水泡手、泡腳。
長痱子：用生薑切片外擦，痱於很快就退，大人孩子都可用。
頭屑多、掉髮：經常用溫薑水洗頭，效果不錯可試試。
狐臭：每天用生薑片多擦凡次，能明顯減少臭味。
另外，生薑還有解毒的功能。如誤食了毒覃，輕者會舌麻、噁心、嘔吐，最好的方法就是趕緊口嚼生薑，連吃幾片，怕辣的人就多切幾片生薑煮水喝，要連喝幾次至症狀完全消失；重者會引起神志不清、昏迷，在送入醫院搶救後，等病情穩定了之後，就給病人喝生薑水，這樣能更快速地驅除毒質。
中年男士易患高血壓病，是由於體內寒濕重，經絡瘀堵不暢造成的。可以在每晚泡腳的水中加入生薑，有助於去寒、降血壓。同時生薑又是助陽之品，自古以來中醫就有「男子不可百日無薑」之說，常用生薑水泡腳既可以去寒又不上火，而且降壓、補腎，同時可以治療男性前列腺炎等疾病。
生薑唯一的不足之處就是常吃會引起肝火旺，所以一般情況下，肝炎病人是忌吃的，口乾、便秘、患痔瘡的病人也要少吃。
克制吃薑引起的肝火旺，可以同時配一些舒肝、理氣的食物，如山楂、菊花，用它們泡茶喝，這樣就可以消除生薑引起的燥熱而不傷身體。
有一位94歲的老將軍，是我見到的高齡老人中身體最棒的，從外表上看絕對猜不出他的年齡，像是六十多歲一樣。他臉色紅潤，皺紋很少，，而且還沒有老人斑，步履輕盈，一點沒有一般老人走路時的沉重感。老將軍的記憶力非常好，思維特別敏捷，他說從未感覺自己老了，也從未覺得身體是自己的負擔。我看了看老人的手相，又摸了第二掌骨，證實老人確實身體硬朗，沒有多病的跡象，只是小魚際處略偏紅，這是陰虛火旺之人的共同特徵，再看老人的舌頭，舌邊上有些發紅，證明他有些肝火旺。我就跟老人說，您身體內熱有些大吧。老人點頭稱是，因為他特別喜歡吃生的薑和蒜，幾乎每天中午、晚上吃飯時都會吃上一些，已堅持了幾十年，因為長年吃生薑，身體內的寒濕就無法立足，經絡也就一直暢通，自然就沒有明顯的衰老和多病的情況出現。
老人又告訴我他每天用3～4朵菊花、山楂、幾粒枸杞、少量的決明子和一點綠茶，用滾開的水沖泡後，就是他每天喝的茶，這種飲法堅持了很久。我想，就是這些舒肝、理氣的茶，緩解了老人長年吃薑、蒜造成的內熱大、肝火旺，使他的身體一直保持一種平衡、和諧。如果老人只是吃薑、蒜，長年下來他的肝臟會受不了，眼睛也會出現問題的；但如果只喝舒肝、理氣的茶，身體就會氣虚、冷氣、抵抗力下降，久之就会生病。而老人将二者綜合起來，既用薑、蒜驅了寒，活了血，又及時疏理了肝火，不致瘀堵。而且，老人的飲食十分注重營養，近年來除了飯量比以前少了一些，飲食習慣幾乎沒變，照樣吃魚、蝦和各種肉，還經常會喝上幾兩白酒，老將軍說：「我的目標是150歲，我相信我能做到。」!
薑
在家煮飯燒菜所用的生薑只要有一部分爛掉
便要整個丟棄
千萬不要捨不得只把爛的切掉
留下好的繼續燒菜
因為薑腐爛時
薑體會產生很強的“黃樟素”
人體吃進黃樟素會造成肝細胞病變
嚴重影響身體健康
所以婆婆媽媽們不要因小失大
薑爛了就整個丟掉~
Discovery Channel
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel
special about a West African bush tribe whose men all
had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches
a certain age, a string is tied around his penis, and
on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight
stretches the penis to 24 inches. Later that evening as
the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife
looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they
tied a string and a weight to his penis.A few days later,
the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal
experiment coming along?" "Well, it looks like we're about
half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."
special about a West African bush tribe whose men all
had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches
a certain age, a string is tied around his penis, and
on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight
stretches the penis to 24 inches. Later that evening as
the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife
looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
string-and-weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they
tied a string and a weight to his penis.A few days later,
the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal
experiment coming along?" "Well, it looks like we're about
half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black."
Monday, May 3, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
初老
初老，這個詞，真是有趣，但也有很多感觸。
年齡就是這麼一回事，20歲生日的時候，覺得自己老了;
30歲生日的時候，也覺得自己老了，40歲生日的時候，當然就更老了。
所以30歲的人，回頭看那些20歲的人喊什麼青春不再，不免嘀咕，靠夭啥啦;
而40歲的人，看到那些鬼叫啥30宣言的，也會在心裡幹譙，30歲是有啥好哀怨的啦！
要自己接受老的事實，其實是很殘酷的，但“老”的來勢洶洶，也應該有類似“轉大人”，轉骨”那樣的適應期。
不知不覺，初老的跡象一天一天滲透，外表，心態，生理，心理的，就好像古田敦也形容的，
15年前看“東京愛情故事”的織田裕二，為何過了15年了，還是一樣年輕？好懷念啊，真希望自己也一樣。
初老，其實是有跡可尋的，譬如... ..
01，身旁陸續出現有一堆人喊你“× ×哥”，“× ×姐”，但其實很想叫他們閉嘴
02，發現同事的年齡與自己的距離從** 5 **歲，擴大到** 10 **歲，** 15 **歲** ... ... *
03，開始懷疑比自己年齡大的人，是不是都跑到外星球去了
04，以前可以唱卡拉OK到天亮，現在只要熬夜一天，就會累一個禮拜
05，只要坐下來，小腹就有一癱肉
06，開始注意維骨力和維他命位置的行情
07，躺在沙發看八點檔連續劇會熟睡30分鐘以上
08，覺得五分埔與路邊攤的Ť卹都是給紙片人穿的
09，以前煩惱青春痘，現在煩惱小細紋
10，除非參加清早晨運的甩手功或廟會朝山活動，否則很難找到比自己年齡大的聚會
11，對於陌生網友的“我們可以交朋友嗎？”說法，覺得無比愚蠢而沒有耐心
12，認識新朋友的速度與機率逐漸鈍化
13，對於沒有結論的冗長會議充滿厭惡
14，越來越覺得專家說法都是唬爛
15，已經放棄“你可以吃”這種吃到飽的把戲了
16，如果一天沒有吃綠色蔬菜就會覺得身體怪怪的
17，*莫名其妙就會一大早醒過來
18，逐漸沒有耐心替爛朋友收爛攤了
19，越來越不喜歡改變“已經習慣的習慣”
20，很討厭在外面過夜，因為要帶好多東西
21，不知不覺，隨身攜帶溫水壺和牙線棒
22，懶得交新朋友的原因，是因為懶得從頭交代自己的人生
23，越久以前發生的事情越是記得，越近的事情反而容易忘記
24，總是把“重要的東西”放在“重要的地方”，然後把那個“重要的地方”，徹底忘記
25，覺得自己快要被一堆密碼和一堆遙控器淹沒了
26，每次看到某某歌手某某影星過世的消息，就要感嘆一次，我們的時代過去了
27, 60頻道以後的電影台播放的舊電影，會忍不住一口氣看完
28，說你看過“東京愛情故事”，知道完治與莉香，周遭一片嘩然
29，朋友們離婚的（數量/年度）開始超越結婚的（數量/年度）
30，對於星座，運勢，紫微斗數，塔羅牌，兩性專家與勵志書，已經沒有感覺
31，對於磁場不對的人，可以毫無牽掛的跟他說再見，再見，再見... ...
32，參加告別式的機率比婚禮多，包白包的機會比包紅包的機會多
33，再也不覺得年輕辣妹是一種天上掉下來的幸福
34，以前糟蹋身體，現在被身體糟蹋
35，開始注意醫藥新聞，譬如銀杏是不是可以預防老年癡呆
36，對於年輕朋友不讓座這件事情會非常介意
37，對於手機鈴聲開始感覺不耐煩
38，逛超市買東西，會注意成分與製造商和賞味期限
39，對超商的集點活動完全沒興趣
40，對路邊的如新問卷部隊非常有意見
41，對詐騙集團開始產生周旋的戰鬥力
42，逐漸喜歡到傳統市場買菜
43，最討厭聽到“如果你不怎樣，就不能怎樣”這種威脅
44，再也不相信政治人物“替鄉親服務”這種屁話
45，對於百貨公司週年慶已經沒什麼衝刺的慾望了
46，報紙影劇版報導的明星大部分都不認識
47，卡拉OK熱門點播排行榜的歌曲完全不會唱
48，當紅的偶像歌手大部分都不認識
49，對於RAP的一點好感都沒有
50，枕頭旁邊，電腦鍵盤旁邊，出現一堆萬金油，白花油，綠油精等提神藥方
〜〜對了！對了！
我也有貢獻ㄡ
我還特地把字放大咧
為了方便各位姐妹兄弟的老花...^++++^
年齡就是這麼一回事，20歲生日的時候，覺得自己老了;
30歲生日的時候，也覺得自己老了，40歲生日的時候，當然就更老了。
所以30歲的人，回頭看那些20歲的人喊什麼青春不再，不免嘀咕，靠夭啥啦;
而40歲的人，看到那些鬼叫啥30宣言的，也會在心裡幹譙，30歲是有啥好哀怨的啦！
要自己接受老的事實，其實是很殘酷的，但“老”的來勢洶洶，也應該有類似“轉大人”，轉骨”那樣的適應期。
不知不覺，初老的跡象一天一天滲透，外表，心態，生理，心理的，就好像古田敦也形容的，
15年前看“東京愛情故事”的織田裕二，為何過了15年了，還是一樣年輕？好懷念啊，真希望自己也一樣。
初老，其實是有跡可尋的，譬如... ..
01，身旁陸續出現有一堆人喊你“× ×哥”，“× ×姐”，但其實很想叫他們閉嘴
02，發現同事的年齡與自己的距離從** 5 **歲，擴大到** 10 **歲，** 15 **歲** ... ... *
03，開始懷疑比自己年齡大的人，是不是都跑到外星球去了
04，以前可以唱卡拉OK到天亮，現在只要熬夜一天，就會累一個禮拜
05，只要坐下來，小腹就有一癱肉
06，開始注意維骨力和維他命位置的行情
07，躺在沙發看八點檔連續劇會熟睡30分鐘以上
08，覺得五分埔與路邊攤的Ť卹都是給紙片人穿的
09，以前煩惱青春痘，現在煩惱小細紋
10，除非參加清早晨運的甩手功或廟會朝山活動，否則很難找到比自己年齡大的聚會
11，對於陌生網友的“我們可以交朋友嗎？”說法，覺得無比愚蠢而沒有耐心
12，認識新朋友的速度與機率逐漸鈍化
13，對於沒有結論的冗長會議充滿厭惡
14，越來越覺得專家說法都是唬爛
15，已經放棄“你可以吃”這種吃到飽的把戲了
16，如果一天沒有吃綠色蔬菜就會覺得身體怪怪的
17，*莫名其妙就會一大早醒過來
18，逐漸沒有耐心替爛朋友收爛攤了
19，越來越不喜歡改變“已經習慣的習慣”
20，很討厭在外面過夜，因為要帶好多東西
21，不知不覺，隨身攜帶溫水壺和牙線棒
22，懶得交新朋友的原因，是因為懶得從頭交代自己的人生
23，越久以前發生的事情越是記得，越近的事情反而容易忘記
24，總是把“重要的東西”放在“重要的地方”，然後把那個“重要的地方”，徹底忘記
25，覺得自己快要被一堆密碼和一堆遙控器淹沒了
26，每次看到某某歌手某某影星過世的消息，就要感嘆一次，我們的時代過去了
27, 60頻道以後的電影台播放的舊電影，會忍不住一口氣看完
28，說你看過“東京愛情故事”，知道完治與莉香，周遭一片嘩然
29，朋友們離婚的（數量/年度）開始超越結婚的（數量/年度）
30，對於星座，運勢，紫微斗數，塔羅牌，兩性專家與勵志書，已經沒有感覺
31，對於磁場不對的人，可以毫無牽掛的跟他說再見，再見，再見... ...
32，參加告別式的機率比婚禮多，包白包的機會比包紅包的機會多
33，再也不覺得年輕辣妹是一種天上掉下來的幸福
34，以前糟蹋身體，現在被身體糟蹋
35，開始注意醫藥新聞，譬如銀杏是不是可以預防老年癡呆
36，對於年輕朋友不讓座這件事情會非常介意
37，對於手機鈴聲開始感覺不耐煩
38，逛超市買東西，會注意成分與製造商和賞味期限
39，對超商的集點活動完全沒興趣
40，對路邊的如新問卷部隊非常有意見
41，對詐騙集團開始產生周旋的戰鬥力
42，逐漸喜歡到傳統市場買菜
43，最討厭聽到“如果你不怎樣，就不能怎樣”這種威脅
44，再也不相信政治人物“替鄉親服務”這種屁話
45，對於百貨公司週年慶已經沒什麼衝刺的慾望了
46，報紙影劇版報導的明星大部分都不認識
47，卡拉OK熱門點播排行榜的歌曲完全不會唱
48，當紅的偶像歌手大部分都不認識
49，對於RAP的一點好感都沒有
50，枕頭旁邊，電腦鍵盤旁邊，出現一堆萬金油，白花油，綠油精等提神藥方
〜〜對了！對了！
我也有貢獻ㄡ
我還特地把字放大咧
為了方便各位姐妹兄弟的老花...^++++^
Copy and paste
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He Said :
"; The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: " And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.
A week later,
a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home.
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "
The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who was not my wife!"
The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke,
the manager finally blurted out "....
and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness,
he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water
Moral of the story:
Don't copy, if you can't paste!
He Said :
"; The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: " And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.
A week later,
a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home.
He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "
The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman
who was not my wife!"
The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke,
the manager finally blurted out "....
and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness,
he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water
Moral of the story:
Don't copy, if you can't paste!
The story of 4 monkeys
一個猴子實驗如下：
把五隻猴子關在一個籠子裡，籠子上頭有一串香蕉。
實驗人員裝了一個自動裝置，若是偵測到有猴子要去拿香蕉，
馬上就會有水噴向籠子，這五隻猴子馬上會被淋濕。
首先有隻猴子想去拿香蕉，馬上水噴出來。
每隻猴子都淋濕了，每隻猴子都去嘗試了，
發現都是如此。於是猴子們達到一個共識：
不要去拿香蕉！ 因為有水會噴出來！
後來實驗人員把其中的一隻猴子換掉，
換一隻新猴子（稱為A猴子好了）關到籠子裡。
這隻A猴子看到香蕉，馬上想要去拿，
結果被其他四隻舊猴子海K了一頓。
因為其他四隻猴子認為新猴子會害他們被水淋到，
所以制止這新猴子去拿香蕉。
這新猴子嘗試了幾次，被打的滿頭包，
還是沒有拿到香蕉，當然這五隻猴子就沒有被水噴到。
後來實驗人員再把一隻舊猴子換掉，
換另外一隻新猴子（稱為B猴子好了）
關到籠子裡，這隻B猴子看到香蕉，當然也是馬上要去拿，
結果也是被其他四隻猴子K了一頓。
那隻A猴子打的特別用力 ,(這叫老兵欺負新兵 呵呵！）
B猴子試了幾次總是被打的很慘，只好作罷~
後來慢慢的一隻一隻的，所有的舊猴子都換成新猴子了。
大家都不敢去動那香蕉，但是他們都不知道為什麼，
只知道去動香蕉會被人扁。
這就是「傳統」的由來。
當你接受某種環境的制約而失去反省及思考能力時
將永遠不會有新的解決方法
個人的能力就成為負成長
長此以往將成為窠臼
也就會變成"不長進"
可怕喔~
傳統不去反省它，就沒有價值！
把五隻猴子關在一個籠子裡，籠子上頭有一串香蕉。
實驗人員裝了一個自動裝置，若是偵測到有猴子要去拿香蕉，
馬上就會有水噴向籠子，這五隻猴子馬上會被淋濕。
首先有隻猴子想去拿香蕉，馬上水噴出來。
每隻猴子都淋濕了，每隻猴子都去嘗試了，
發現都是如此。於是猴子們達到一個共識：
不要去拿香蕉！ 因為有水會噴出來！
後來實驗人員把其中的一隻猴子換掉，
換一隻新猴子（稱為A猴子好了）關到籠子裡。
這隻A猴子看到香蕉，馬上想要去拿，
結果被其他四隻舊猴子海K了一頓。
因為其他四隻猴子認為新猴子會害他們被水淋到，
所以制止這新猴子去拿香蕉。
這新猴子嘗試了幾次，被打的滿頭包，
還是沒有拿到香蕉，當然這五隻猴子就沒有被水噴到。
後來實驗人員再把一隻舊猴子換掉，
換另外一隻新猴子（稱為B猴子好了）
關到籠子裡，這隻B猴子看到香蕉，當然也是馬上要去拿，
結果也是被其他四隻猴子K了一頓。
那隻A猴子打的特別用力 ,(這叫老兵欺負新兵 呵呵！）
B猴子試了幾次總是被打的很慘，只好作罷~
後來慢慢的一隻一隻的，所有的舊猴子都換成新猴子了。
大家都不敢去動那香蕉，但是他們都不知道為什麼，
只知道去動香蕉會被人扁。
這就是「傳統」的由來。
當你接受某種環境的制約而失去反省及思考能力時
將永遠不會有新的解決方法
個人的能力就成為負成長
長此以往將成為窠臼
也就會變成"不長進"
可怕喔~
傳統不去反省它，就沒有價值！
4 hours to live
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the
doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally,
she agrees, so
they make
love.
About 6
hours later, the
husband
goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you
know I now have
only 18
hours to live.
Could we
please do it one
more
time?'
Of course,
the wife agrees,
and they do
it again.
Later, as
the man gets into
bed, he
looks at his watch
and
realizes that he now has
only 8 hours
left.
He touches
his wife's
shoulder and
asks,
'Honey,
please... just one
more time
before I die.'
She says,
'Of course, Dear,'
and they
make love for the third time.
After this
session, the wife
rolls over
and falls asleep.
Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns, until he's down
to 4 more hours.
He taps his
wife, who rouses.
'Honey, I
have only 4 more hours.
Do you
think we
could...'
At this
point the wife sits
up and
says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough
I have to
get up in the morning... you don't.'
-----------
Discussion forum monitored by Tony.
1. Morris is totally wrong.
He should spend some money to make love with the most beautiful lady.
2. He must be using enhancing drugs continuously - it is healthy to do so as he has nothing to lose.
3. Are there anything better to do than sex like all those tasty foods but not healthy to you?
doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally,
she agrees, so
they make
love.
About 6
hours later, the
husband
goes to his wife and says,
'Honey, you
know I now have
only 18
hours to live.
Could we
please do it one
more
time?'
Of course,
the wife agrees,
and they do
it again.
Later, as
the man gets into
bed, he
looks at his watch
and
realizes that he now has
only 8 hours
left.
He touches
his wife's
shoulder and
asks,
'Honey,
please... just one
more time
before I die.'
She says,
'Of course, Dear,'
and they
make love for the third time.
After this
session, the wife
rolls over
and falls asleep.
Morris,
however, worried about his impending death,tosses and turns, until he's down
to 4 more hours.
He taps his
wife, who rouses.
'Honey, I
have only 4 more hours.
Do you
think we
could...'
At this
point the wife sits
up and
says, 'Listen Morris, enough is enough
I have to
get up in the morning... you don't.'
-----------
Discussion forum monitored by Tony.
1. Morris is totally wrong.
He should spend some money to make love with the most beautiful lady.
2. He must be using enhancing drugs continuously - it is healthy to do so as he has nothing to lose.
3. Are there anything better to do than sex like all those tasty foods but not healthy to you?
How to win any argument?
有一天，我跳上一輛計程車，打算到機場。正當我們開上正確的車道時，突然間一輛黑色轎車從停車位開出，
正好擋在我們前面。我的計程車司機立即踩剎車，車子滑行了一小段路，剛好閃開來車，兩車之間的距離就
只差個幾英吋！另一輛車的駕駛兇狠地甩頭，並且朝著我們大喊大叫。
我的計程車司機只是微笑，對那傢伙揮揮手。我的意思是說，他表現得很友善。於是我問：「你剛才為什麼
那麼做？那傢伙差點毀了你的車，還可能害我們受傷送醫院！」
這是當時我的計程車司機告訴我的話，現在我就稱呼它為「垃圾車定律」。
他解釋說：許多人就像垃圾車。他們到處跑來跑去，身上充滿了垃圾、充滿了沮喪、充滿了憤怒、和充滿了失望。
隨著垃圾堆積，他們終需找個地方傾倒；有時候，我們剛好碰上了，垃圾就往我們身上丟，所以，不要介意，
只要微笑、揮揮手、祝福他們，然後繼續走我們自己的路就行；千萬別將他們的垃圾擴散給同事、家人、或其他路人。
這兒的底線是：成功的人絕對不讓垃圾車接管自己生活當中的任何一天；人生苦短，早上醒來絕對不要帶著遺憾。
所以....仁愛對待與你以禮相待的人；不用去理會那群無理取閙者。生命只有10%由自己決定，但90%看你如何利用它！
正好擋在我們前面。我的計程車司機立即踩剎車，車子滑行了一小段路，剛好閃開來車，兩車之間的距離就
只差個幾英吋！另一輛車的駕駛兇狠地甩頭，並且朝著我們大喊大叫。
我的計程車司機只是微笑，對那傢伙揮揮手。我的意思是說，他表現得很友善。於是我問：「你剛才為什麼
那麼做？那傢伙差點毀了你的車，還可能害我們受傷送醫院！」
這是當時我的計程車司機告訴我的話，現在我就稱呼它為「垃圾車定律」。
他解釋說：許多人就像垃圾車。他們到處跑來跑去，身上充滿了垃圾、充滿了沮喪、充滿了憤怒、和充滿了失望。
隨著垃圾堆積，他們終需找個地方傾倒；有時候，我們剛好碰上了，垃圾就往我們身上丟，所以，不要介意，
只要微笑、揮揮手、祝福他們，然後繼續走我們自己的路就行；千萬別將他們的垃圾擴散給同事、家人、或其他路人。
這兒的底線是：成功的人絕對不讓垃圾車接管自己生活當中的任何一天；人生苦短，早上醒來絕對不要帶著遺憾。
所以....仁愛對待與你以禮相待的人；不用去理會那群無理取閙者。生命只有10%由自己決定，但90%看你如何利用它！
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Story from a Canadian
THE
ANT AND
THE
GRASSHOPPER
This
one is a little different...... Two Different
Versions....
............... Two Different
Morals
OLD
VERSION
The ant
works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is
a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..
Come
winter, the ant is
warm
and well fed.
The grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so
he
dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE
STORY:
Be
responsible for
yourself!
MODERN
VERSION
The ant works
hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a
fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter,
the shivering grasshopper
calls a press
conference and
demands to know why the ant
should be
allowed to be warm and
well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS,
CNN, and ABC
show up to
provide pictures of the
shiveringgrasshopper
next to a
video of the
ant
in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp
contrast.
How can
this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed
to suffer so?
Kermit the
Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody
cries when they sing,
'It's Not Easy Being Green...'
ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's
house
where the news stations film the group singing,
"We
shall
overcome."
Then Rev.
Jeremiah
Wright has the group kneel down to pray to
God for the grasshopper's
sake.
President
Obama
condemns
the ant
and blames
President Bush,
President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope
for the grasshopper's
plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry
Reid exclaim in an interview with
Larry
King
that the ant
has gotten
rich off the back
of the
grasshopper, and both
call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant
to make
him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC
drafts the Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper
Act
retroactive to the beginning of
the
summer.
The ant
is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green
bugs
and, having nothing left to
pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green
Czar
and given
to
the
grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the
grasshopper
and his free-loading
friends
finishing up the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he
is
in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's
old house,
crumbles around them
because the grasshopperdoesn't
maintain it.
The
ant
has disappeared in the snow, never to
be seen again.
The grasshopper
is found
dead in a drug related
incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of
spiders
who terrorize the ramshackle, once
prosperous
and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire
Nation
collapses bringing the rest of the
free world with it.
MORAL OF
THE
STORY:
Be careful how you
vote in 2010.
I've
sent this
to you because I believe that you are an ant -
not
a
grasshopper! Make sure
that you pass
this on to other ants. Don't
bother sending
it on to any grasshoppers
because they
wouldn't
understand it, anyway
ANT AND
THE
GRASSHOPPER
This
one is a little different...... Two Different
Versions....
............... Two Different
Morals
OLD
VERSION
The ant
works hard in the withering heat
all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is
a
fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..
Come
winter, the ant is
warm
and well fed.
The grasshopper
has no food or shelter, so
he
dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE
STORY:
Be
responsible for
yourself!
MODERN
VERSION
The ant works
hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and
laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a
fool
and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter,
the shivering grasshopper
calls a press
conference and
demands to know why the ant
should be
allowed to be warm and
well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS,
CNN, and ABC
show up to
provide pictures of the
shiveringgrasshopper
next to a
video of the
ant
in his comfortable home with a table
filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp
contrast.
How can
this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed
to suffer so?
Kermit the
Frog appears on Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody
cries when they sing,
'It's Not Easy Being Green...'
ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's
house
where the news stations film the group singing,
"We
shall
overcome."
Then Rev.
Jeremiah
Wright has the group kneel down to pray to
God for the grasshopper's
sake.
President
Obama
condemns
the ant
and blames
President Bush,
President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope
for the grasshopper's
plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry
Reid exclaim in an interview with
Larry
King
that the ant
has gotten
rich off the back
of the
grasshopper, and both
call for an
immediate tax hike on the ant
to make
him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC
drafts the Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper
Act
retroactive to the beginning of
the
summer.
The ant
is fined for failing to hire a
proportionate number of green
bugs
and, having nothing left to
pay his
retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green
Czar
and given
to
the
grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the
grasshopper
and his free-loading
friends
finishing up the last bits of the ant's
food while the government house he
is
in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's
old house,
crumbles around them
because the grasshopperdoesn't
maintain it.
The
ant
has disappeared in the snow, never to
be seen again.
The grasshopper
is found
dead in a drug related
incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over
by a gang of
spiders
who terrorize the ramshackle, once
prosperous
and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire
Nation
collapses bringing the rest of the
free world with it.
MORAL OF
THE
STORY:
Be careful how you
vote in 2010.
I've
sent this
to you because I believe that you are an ant -
not
a
grasshopper! Make sure
that you pass
this on to other ants. Don't
bother sending
it on to any grasshoppers
because they
wouldn't
understand it, anyway
Blonde's password
During a recent password audit, it was found that a
blonde was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDewyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.
blonde was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDewyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said
she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters
long and include at least one capital.
羅漢果神奇功效
茂叔推介：多年前本人已患有“慢性氣管阻塞疾病”，但因悉心維護，未見嚴重﹗當第一次流感盛行時又自以為本身抵抗力強，有信心無需打流感針，因如領嘢引致嚴重哮喘病發，短短一條班馬線都要分開兩段才能行完。繼而來之則每隔個多月就需要到診所攞壹個星期藥“類固醇” 加“抗生素”服用。
但只能維持個零月又需要去“急症室”求診，照例被轉送「葛量洪療養院」通常留院十至十二日。這樣循環不息，到個零月就往診所攞壹星期“抗生素”“類固醇”服用。到了三個月左右，又係去急症室後轉往葛量洪療養院。幸好約一年後我因無聊喺電腦上打上“羅漢果茶”被我無意中搵到了“羅漢果”網頁。自己先做（白老鼠照方飲用），到現在雖未完全康復，可是已有兩年未再去診所攞“抗生素”及“類固醇”亦係有兩年唔駛再去「葛量洪」療養院留醫。可証 “羅漢果茶”功效之奇﹗
見症2：（茂嬸）兩年前因久咳後變為哮喘，又係經瑪麗醫院轉送「葛量洪療養院」留醫約十日，後每隔個半月就要往“葛量洪”覆診取“舒緩及擴張氣管”之吸入劑。兩年後之今日，因佢係初患者，她隨我飲了「羅漢果茶」四個月，現已不感氣喘可說得係完全康復。同時（茂嬸）在兩年前例行作[婦科檢查時]，發現子宮有一（ 二厘米 小肉粒），經過養和醫生覆診後，認為暫時只需密切觀察[小肉粒會否變大]，若維持原狀則無需施動手術。
因此小肉粒令（茂嬸）十分憂心，同時體重亦瘦咗十多磅。好彩（茂嬏）在醫治哮喘時飲咗四佪月（羅漢果茶）後，不但醫好哮喘，最奇怪係幾次往覆診婦科，發覺子宮內嗰粒 二厘米 小肉粒亦消失到無影無踪，因如體重亦逐漸恢復。是以《有此好藥方》，（茂叔） 特在此公開給好友們，希望可以幫啲患上同樣症狀之病人。謹望大家幫手將此（羅漢果藥方）傳給有需要之病人，廣種善根。多謝好友們合作﹗
限於篇幅；《羅漢果》尚有不少效用﹗請看附件羅漢果神奇功效。
但只能維持個零月又需要去“急症室”求診，照例被轉送「葛量洪療養院」通常留院十至十二日。這樣循環不息，到個零月就往診所攞壹星期“抗生素”“類固醇”服用。到了三個月左右，又係去急症室後轉往葛量洪療養院。幸好約一年後我因無聊喺電腦上打上“羅漢果茶”被我無意中搵到了“羅漢果”網頁。自己先做（白老鼠照方飲用），到現在雖未完全康復，可是已有兩年未再去診所攞“抗生素”及“類固醇”亦係有兩年唔駛再去「葛量洪」療養院留醫。可証 “羅漢果茶”功效之奇﹗
見症2：（茂嬸）兩年前因久咳後變為哮喘，又係經瑪麗醫院轉送「葛量洪療養院」留醫約十日，後每隔個半月就要往“葛量洪”覆診取“舒緩及擴張氣管”之吸入劑。兩年後之今日，因佢係初患者，她隨我飲了「羅漢果茶」四個月，現已不感氣喘可說得係完全康復。同時（茂嬸）在兩年前例行作[婦科檢查時]，發現子宮有一（ 二厘米 小肉粒），經過養和醫生覆診後，認為暫時只需密切觀察[小肉粒會否變大]，若維持原狀則無需施動手術。
因此小肉粒令（茂嬸）十分憂心，同時體重亦瘦咗十多磅。好彩（茂嬏）在醫治哮喘時飲咗四佪月（羅漢果茶）後，不但醫好哮喘，最奇怪係幾次往覆診婦科，發覺子宮內嗰粒 二厘米 小肉粒亦消失到無影無踪，因如體重亦逐漸恢復。是以《有此好藥方》，（茂叔） 特在此公開給好友們，希望可以幫啲患上同樣症狀之病人。謹望大家幫手將此（羅漢果藥方）傳給有需要之病人，廣種善根。多謝好友們合作﹗
限於篇幅；《羅漢果》尚有不少效用﹗請看附件羅漢果神奇功效。
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Drafting Guys over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate
on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical SOB....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
stretch.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.. He's still learning
to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still
hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes,
not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ......with PMS !!! You think Men
have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them
on border patrol......we will have it secured the first night!
Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they
can read it.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate
on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical SOB....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
stretch.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to
get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.. He's still learning
to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still
hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes,
not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ......with PMS !!! You think Men
have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them
on border patrol......we will have it secured the first night!
Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they
can read it.
Left over onion is poisonous!
REMEMBER:
Don't keep sliced onions for another day : LEFT OVER ONIONS IS POISONOUS
I have used an onion which has been left in the fridge, and sometimes I don't use a whole one at one time, so save the other half for later. Now with this info, I have changed my mind....will buy smaller onions in the future.
I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, Makers of mayonnaise. Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in the Mullins family. My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO (www.mullinsfood.com)
Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist.
The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed. He's one of the brothers Ed is a chemistry expert and is in volved in developing most of the sauce formula. He's even developed sauce formula for McDonald's.
Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed's answer will surprise you. Ed said that all commercially-made Mayo is completely safe.
"It doesn't even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but it's not really necessary." He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then talked about the quaint essential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick.
Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it's not the mayo nnaise (as long as it's not homemade Mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It's probably the onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES.
He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator.
It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!)
Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad, will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.
So, how's that for news? Take it for what you will. I (the author) am going to be very careful about my onions from now on. For some reason, I see a lot of credibility coming from a chemist and a company that produces millions of pounds of mayonnaise every year.'
Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions .Please remember it is dangerous to cut onions and try to use it to cook the next day ,it becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates Toxic bacteria which may cause Adverse Stomach infections because of excess Bile secretions and even Food poisoning.
Please pass it on to all you love and care.
Don't keep sliced onions for another day : LEFT OVER ONIONS IS POISONOUS
I have used an onion which has been left in the fridge, and sometimes I don't use a whole one at one time, so save the other half for later. Now with this info, I have changed my mind....will buy smaller onions in the future.
I had the wonderful privilege of touring Mullins Food Products, Makers of mayonnaise. Mullins is huge, and is owned by 11 brothers and sisters in the Mullins family. My friend, Jeanne, is the CEO (www.mullinsfood.com)
Questions about food poisoning came up, and I wanted to share what I learned from a chemist.
The guy who gave us our tour is named Ed. He's one of the brothers Ed is a chemistry expert and is in volved in developing most of the sauce formula. He's even developed sauce formula for McDonald's.
Keep in mind that Ed is a food chemistry whiz. During the tour, someone asked if we really needed to worry about mayonnaise. People are always worried that mayonnaise will spoil. Ed's answer will surprise you. Ed said that all commercially-made Mayo is completely safe.
"It doesn't even have to be refrigerated. No harm in refrigerating it, but it's not really necessary." He explained that the pH in mayonnaise is set at a point that bacteria could not survive in that environment. He then talked about the quaint essential picnic, with the bowl of potato salad sitting on the table and how everyone blames the mayonnaise when someone gets sick.
Ed says that when food poisoning is reported, the first thing the officials look for is when the 'victim' last ate ONIONS and where those onions came from (in the potato salad?). Ed says it's not the mayo nnaise (as long as it's not homemade Mayo) that spoils in the outdoors. It's probably the onions, and if not the onions, it's the POTATOES.
He explained, onions are a huge magnet for bacteria, especially uncooked onions. You should never plan to keep a portion of a sliced onion. He says it's not even safe if you put it in a zip-lock bag and put it in your refrigerator.
It's already contaminated enough just by being cut open and out for a bit, that it can be a danger to you (and doubly watch out for those onions you put in your hotdogs at the baseball park!)
Ed says if you take the leftover onion and cook it like crazy you'll probably be okay, but if you slice that leftover onion and put on your sandwich, you're asking for trouble. Both the onions and the moist potato in a potato salad, will attract and grow bacteria faster than any commercial mayonnaise will even begin to break down.
So, how's that for news? Take it for what you will. I (the author) am going to be very careful about my onions from now on. For some reason, I see a lot of credibility coming from a chemist and a company that produces millions of pounds of mayonnaise every year.'
Also, dogs should never eat onions. Their stomachs cannot metabolize onions .Please remember it is dangerous to cut onions and try to use it to cook the next day ,it becomes highly poisonous for even a single night and creates Toxic bacteria which may cause Adverse Stomach infections because of excess Bile secretions and even Food poisoning.
Please pass it on to all you love and care.
Cantonese slangs
田鸡过河 - 各有各YANG
黑白天鹅 - 日哦夜哦
茶楼搬家 - 另起炉灶
豉油辣椒酱 - 你想点就点
空棺材出殯 - 木中無人
鐵拐李踢波 - 一脚踢
豉油捞飯 - 整色整水
醉酒老数街燈 - 不知幾盏
黄鳝上沙滩 - 唔死一身潺
隔夜油炸鬼 - 冇晒火氣
抬棺材甩裤 - 失礼死人
神仙過铁橋 - 包稳陣
水浸缸瓦铺 - 盆满钵满
冇耳藤喼 - 靠托
閻罗王探病 - 問你死未
賣鱼佬洗身 - 冇腥气
肥佬着笠衫 - 幾大就幾大
扁鼻佬戴眼镜 - 冇得顶
神台猫屎 - 神憎鬼厌
投石落屎坑 - 激起公糞
火烧猪头 - 熟口熟面
天堂尿壶 - 全神贯注
湿水棉花 - 冇得弹
神仙放屁 - 不同凡响
肥婆坐屎塔 - TUP TUP 冚
生虫拐杖 - 靠唔住
厨房阶砖 - 咸湿
鐵木真打仔 - 大汗 DUB细汗
黑白天鹅 - 日哦夜哦
茶楼搬家 - 另起炉灶
豉油辣椒酱 - 你想点就点
空棺材出殯 - 木中無人
鐵拐李踢波 - 一脚踢
豉油捞飯 - 整色整水
醉酒老数街燈 - 不知幾盏
黄鳝上沙滩 - 唔死一身潺
隔夜油炸鬼 - 冇晒火氣
抬棺材甩裤 - 失礼死人
神仙過铁橋 - 包稳陣
水浸缸瓦铺 - 盆满钵满
冇耳藤喼 - 靠托
閻罗王探病 - 問你死未
賣鱼佬洗身 - 冇腥气
肥佬着笠衫 - 幾大就幾大
扁鼻佬戴眼镜 - 冇得顶
神台猫屎 - 神憎鬼厌
投石落屎坑 - 激起公糞
火烧猪头 - 熟口熟面
天堂尿壶 - 全神贯注
湿水棉花 - 冇得弹
神仙放屁 - 不同凡响
肥婆坐屎塔 - TUP TUP 冚
生虫拐杖 - 靠唔住
厨房阶砖 - 咸湿
鐵木真打仔 - 大汗 DUB细汗
Tongue indicator for stroke
They Now Have a Fourth Indicator
Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue
cid:1.2971483098@web51904.mail.re2.yahoo.com
I will continue to forward this every time it comes around!
STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters.... S. T. R.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening
Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital -
(at 6:00 pm Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough...
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
I have done my part. Will you?
Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue
cid:1.2971483098@web51904.mail.re2.yahoo.com
I will continue to forward this every time it comes around!
STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters.... S. T. R.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening
Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital -
(at 6:00 pm Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough...
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
I have done my part. Will you?
Heart attack for women
I am an ER nurse and this is the best description of this event that I have ever heard. Please read, pay attention, and send it on!
Diane K. in A FEMALE HEART ATTACKS
I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read.
Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack .. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.
"I had a heart attack at about 10 :30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.
A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.
After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).
This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!
I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.
I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.
I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance.
He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.
'I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints.
'Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.'
1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Mallox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they
wake up ... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before.
It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!
2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics.' And if you can take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!
Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road.
Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.
Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later.
3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.
Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Diane K. in A FEMALE HEART ATTACKS
I was aware that female heart attacks are different, but this is the best description I've ever read.
Women and heart attacks (Myocardial infarction). Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack .. you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.
"I had a heart attack at about 10 :30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might have brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.
A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.
After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasms), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).
This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!
I lowered the foot rest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.
I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialed the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to un-bolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.
I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness, as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney or getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way, but I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the radiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance.
He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.
'I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are only minutes away from my home, and my Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints.
'Why have I written all of this to you with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.'
1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistake it as indigestion, take some Mallox or other anti-heartburn preparation and go to bed, hoping they'll feel better in the morning when they
wake up ... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING is unpleasantly happening that you've not felt before.
It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!
2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics.' And if you can take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!
Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road.
Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road.
Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later.
3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.
Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Health hints
1. 睡前喝豆漿、(soya bean milk before sleep)
睡前喝豆漿：豆漿富含100%的優質胺基酸，可製造充分的生長激素，促進身體的新陳代謝，消耗體內多餘的醣份和脂肪，
所以睡前喝豆漿，有減肥的的效果，這就是「胺基酸減肥法」，又叫「懶人減肥法」。
此外，大豆富含異黃酮素（天然的雌激素），可降低血液中的膽固醇，保護心臟，預防心肌梗塞，所以女生得心血管疾病的機率只有男生的?
誘壑坐@，異黃酮素並可抑制人體鈣質的流失，還可預防與基因遺傳有關的乳癌與腸癌，因此睡前喝上一杯250cc的豆漿，冷熱甜淡隨意，
可讓您有一個好睡眠、好體質。
但是現在市面上的黃豆有80％是基因改造的，目前基因改造的食品對人體的影響如何還未可知，購買非基因改造豆漿，建議購買無防腐劑喔，
睡前喝比早上喝的效益更大。
2.. 吃水果比吃蔬菜好 (fruits are better than vegetables)
吃水果比吃蔬菜好：當個「好色之徒」吧，吃水果要選香的，顏色鮮豔的，含有大量松脂，多吃對身體有益。且吃水果比吃蔬菜好，
松脂成分可抗壓，如芒果要選土芒果，葡萄要吃紫葡萄，西瓜選無子大紅西瓜，蜜瓜選綠色的，哈蜜瓜要選肉色的，水果中以榴璉的松脂居第一。
然今後別再吃西柚因會抑制肝的解毒！
3. 綠茶效益勝過水 (green tea is better than plain water)
建議喝綠茶來代替水和紅茶，因水帶不走身上不好的物質，紅茶為已發酵的熟茶，因此綠茶優於紅茶，多喝綠茶可以降低巴金森，
且綠茶含兒茶素，能保護關節軟骨緩解疼痛。另外，泡過後無味的綠茶包，可用來擦過敏的皮膚跟濕疹唷！
4. 天天來杯咖啡吧 (a daily coffee is good for you)
喝咖啡選阿拉伯豆：每天一杯咖啡，喝咖啡的好處是咖啡可抑制多巴胺L-Dopa，預防老化、巴金森氏症、防癌，咖啡會活化大腦命令
四肢時所需要的傳導物，年老以後身手較為協調，壞處是喝咖啡會流失鈣與一些維他命。
懷孕前三個月禁喝，因易流產 。此外，喝咖啡要選阿拉伯豆，不是爪哇豆，豆子要新鮮，放久了會產生黃麴毒素。
5. 將癌細胞改邪歸正的蕃薯 (sweet potato can get away the cancel cells)
蕃薯導正病變細胞：蕃薯含神經節肝酯，能導正病變細胞；且蕃薯可以減肥，因為其澱粉是水溶性纖維，不會囤積體內。
蕃薯的甜味是多醣，對人體有益，比吃飯更有飽足感，建議一週可用一餐蕃薯代替飯來吃。蕃薯愈紅愈甜愈好，烤的比水煮和蒸的好，
且烤後連皮一起吃更好。
專作放射線之醫師，認為『微波爐』會利用電波少一個正價電子，運用水分子之震盪使食物變熱，所以食物易變成自由基，就會容易致癌。
所以偶而方便用一下，最好還是少用『微波爐』最好！
以下文章值得參考
人體內的有毒物質主要來源於兩個途徑：一是大氣與水源中的污染物、通過呼吸及進餐而侵入人體內，鉛、鋁、汞等重金屬就是其代表；
另一個是食物在體內代謝後的廢物，如自由基、硫化氫等。時下，清除體內垃圾已成健康時尚。
以下方法可幫您及時清除體內毒素。
1. 主動咳嗽法: (proactive cough)
自然界中的粉塵、金屬微粒及廢氣中的毒性物質，通過呼吸進入肺臟，既損害肺臟，又通過血液迴圈而!株連'全身。借助主動咳嗽可以'清掃'
肺臟。每天到室外空氣清新處做深呼吸運動，深吸氣時緩緩抬起雙臂，然後主動咳嗽，使氣流從口、鼻中噴出，咳出痰液。
2. 飲水沖洗法：(have a cup of plain water after getting up in the morning)
定時排便，縮短糞便在腸道內的停留時間，及時排出糞便中的毒素。每天清晨空腹喝一杯溫開水，有利於大便通暢以及毒素從尿液中排出。
3. 運動出汗法：(do exercises)
皮膚也是排泄毒素的途徑，主要通過出汗的方式，讓毒素隨汗液排出體外。
4. 巧用食物法：
●常飲鮮果、鮮菜汁(不經炒煮)，鮮果、鮮菜汁是體內'清潔劑'，牠們能排除體內堆積的毒素和廢物。(fruit and vegetable juices are good)
●常吃海帶，海帶對放射性物質有特別的親和力，海帶膠質能促使體內的放射性物質隨著大號排出體外，從而減少放射性物質在人體內的積聚，
也減少了放射性疾病的發生率。( sea weeds are good)
●常喝綠豆湯，綠豆湯能輔助排泄體內的毒素，促進機體的正常代謝。(green bean soup helps metabolism)
睡前喝豆漿：豆漿富含100%的優質胺基酸，可製造充分的生長激素，促進身體的新陳代謝，消耗體內多餘的醣份和脂肪，
所以睡前喝豆漿，有減肥的的效果，這就是「胺基酸減肥法」，又叫「懶人減肥法」。
此外，大豆富含異黃酮素（天然的雌激素），可降低血液中的膽固醇，保護心臟，預防心肌梗塞，所以女生得心血管疾病的機率只有男生的?
誘壑坐@，異黃酮素並可抑制人體鈣質的流失，還可預防與基因遺傳有關的乳癌與腸癌，因此睡前喝上一杯250cc的豆漿，冷熱甜淡隨意，
可讓您有一個好睡眠、好體質。
但是現在市面上的黃豆有80％是基因改造的，目前基因改造的食品對人體的影響如何還未可知，購買非基因改造豆漿，建議購買無防腐劑喔，
睡前喝比早上喝的效益更大。
2.. 吃水果比吃蔬菜好 (fruits are better than vegetables)
吃水果比吃蔬菜好：當個「好色之徒」吧，吃水果要選香的，顏色鮮豔的，含有大量松脂，多吃對身體有益。且吃水果比吃蔬菜好，
松脂成分可抗壓，如芒果要選土芒果，葡萄要吃紫葡萄，西瓜選無子大紅西瓜，蜜瓜選綠色的，哈蜜瓜要選肉色的，水果中以榴璉的松脂居第一。
然今後別再吃西柚因會抑制肝的解毒！
3. 綠茶效益勝過水 (green tea is better than plain water)
建議喝綠茶來代替水和紅茶，因水帶不走身上不好的物質，紅茶為已發酵的熟茶，因此綠茶優於紅茶，多喝綠茶可以降低巴金森，
且綠茶含兒茶素，能保護關節軟骨緩解疼痛。另外，泡過後無味的綠茶包，可用來擦過敏的皮膚跟濕疹唷！
4. 天天來杯咖啡吧 (a daily coffee is good for you)
喝咖啡選阿拉伯豆：每天一杯咖啡，喝咖啡的好處是咖啡可抑制多巴胺L-Dopa，預防老化、巴金森氏症、防癌，咖啡會活化大腦命令
四肢時所需要的傳導物，年老以後身手較為協調，壞處是喝咖啡會流失鈣與一些維他命。
懷孕前三個月禁喝，因易流產 。此外，喝咖啡要選阿拉伯豆，不是爪哇豆，豆子要新鮮，放久了會產生黃麴毒素。
5. 將癌細胞改邪歸正的蕃薯 (sweet potato can get away the cancel cells)
蕃薯導正病變細胞：蕃薯含神經節肝酯，能導正病變細胞；且蕃薯可以減肥，因為其澱粉是水溶性纖維，不會囤積體內。
蕃薯的甜味是多醣，對人體有益，比吃飯更有飽足感，建議一週可用一餐蕃薯代替飯來吃。蕃薯愈紅愈甜愈好，烤的比水煮和蒸的好，
且烤後連皮一起吃更好。
專作放射線之醫師，認為『微波爐』會利用電波少一個正價電子，運用水分子之震盪使食物變熱，所以食物易變成自由基，就會容易致癌。
所以偶而方便用一下，最好還是少用『微波爐』最好！
以下文章值得參考
人體內的有毒物質主要來源於兩個途徑：一是大氣與水源中的污染物、通過呼吸及進餐而侵入人體內，鉛、鋁、汞等重金屬就是其代表；
另一個是食物在體內代謝後的廢物，如自由基、硫化氫等。時下，清除體內垃圾已成健康時尚。
以下方法可幫您及時清除體內毒素。
1. 主動咳嗽法: (proactive cough)
自然界中的粉塵、金屬微粒及廢氣中的毒性物質，通過呼吸進入肺臟，既損害肺臟，又通過血液迴圈而!株連'全身。借助主動咳嗽可以'清掃'
肺臟。每天到室外空氣清新處做深呼吸運動，深吸氣時緩緩抬起雙臂，然後主動咳嗽，使氣流從口、鼻中噴出，咳出痰液。
2. 飲水沖洗法：(have a cup of plain water after getting up in the morning)
定時排便，縮短糞便在腸道內的停留時間，及時排出糞便中的毒素。每天清晨空腹喝一杯溫開水，有利於大便通暢以及毒素從尿液中排出。
3. 運動出汗法：(do exercises)
皮膚也是排泄毒素的途徑，主要通過出汗的方式，讓毒素隨汗液排出體外。
4. 巧用食物法：
●常飲鮮果、鮮菜汁(不經炒煮)，鮮果、鮮菜汁是體內'清潔劑'，牠們能排除體內堆積的毒素和廢物。(fruit and vegetable juices are good)
●常吃海帶，海帶對放射性物質有特別的親和力，海帶膠質能促使體內的放射性物質隨著大號排出體外，從而減少放射性物質在人體內的積聚，
也減少了放射性疾病的發生率。( sea weeds are good)
●常喝綠豆湯，綠豆湯能輔助排泄體內的毒素，促進機體的正常代謝。(green bean soup helps metabolism)
臉和屁股
臉和屁股年終考核，結果屁股比臉優秀。
>
> 理由:
> 1光滑,不易起皺
> 2節儉，不用花錢保養也白淨
> 3細膩，不易長斑,長痘
> 4美觀，造型簡潔,時尚
> 5嚴肅,不茍言笑
> 6真誠,不會皮笑肉不笑，兩面三刀
> 7莊重,大氣有福相
> 8和諧，既一分為二，又合二為一
> 9忍辱負重,從小到大常代臉受過被打
> 10講團結,連接上下
> 11低調,永遠在後，深藏不露
> 12生動傳情,稍加扭動,風情萬千,動人心魄
> 13敦實,牢靠,既能連坐連戰,也不怕壓成阿扁
>
>
> 理由:
> 1光滑,不易起皺
> 2節儉，不用花錢保養也白淨
> 3細膩，不易長斑,長痘
> 4美觀，造型簡潔,時尚
> 5嚴肅,不茍言笑
> 6真誠,不會皮笑肉不笑，兩面三刀
> 7莊重,大氣有福相
> 8和諧，既一分為二，又合二為一
> 9忍辱負重,從小到大常代臉受過被打
> 10講團結,連接上下
> 11低調,永遠在後，深藏不露
> 12生動傳情,稍加扭動,風情萬千,動人心魄
> 13敦實,牢靠,既能連坐連戰,也不怕壓成阿扁
>
珍珠奶茶 bad for you!
珍珠奶茶在給人們的味蕾帶來甜美刺激的同時也給人的健康帶來隱患。
"奶精"是珍珠奶茶之魂。十杯鮮奶的味道，也不如一勺奶精來得香濃。奶精的主要成分氫化植物油是一種反式脂肪酸。
專家指出:每天一杯500 升(?mL)珍珠奶茶中反式脂肪酸含量已超出正常人承受極限，飲用者易患心血管疾病。
奶精”使奶茶變得香濃源自於奶精中一種名為”植脂末”的化學物質.
這種物質中含有砷(砒霜)、鉛、銅等有害物質，長期攝入，可增加患冠心病、腫瘤、哮喘等疾病的幾率，幼兒更會變得智力低下。
吃”珍珠”等於吃塑膠
吃 ” 珍珠”等於吃塑膠？珍珠奶茶正因為這些黑色的小顆粒而得名，我們一般叫它為珍珠粉圓，公開的主材料是木薯澱粉。然而，單純的木薯澱粉並不能讓珍珠彈性足，如今比較通用做法是在其中加入小麥蛋白。即使如此，有的商家也覺得彈性還不夠，為了讓珍珠有“嚼頭“，於是再添加人工合成的高分子材料。
說白了，高分子材料就是塑膠，這也是行業內心照不宣的秘密。這樣的成分不可能被人體吸收，吃塑膠是什麼結果，大家可以想像。
Don't drink any more!
"奶精"是珍珠奶茶之魂。十杯鮮奶的味道，也不如一勺奶精來得香濃。奶精的主要成分氫化植物油是一種反式脂肪酸。
專家指出:每天一杯500 升(?mL)珍珠奶茶中反式脂肪酸含量已超出正常人承受極限，飲用者易患心血管疾病。
奶精”使奶茶變得香濃源自於奶精中一種名為”植脂末”的化學物質.
這種物質中含有砷(砒霜)、鉛、銅等有害物質，長期攝入，可增加患冠心病、腫瘤、哮喘等疾病的幾率，幼兒更會變得智力低下。
吃”珍珠”等於吃塑膠
吃 ” 珍珠”等於吃塑膠？珍珠奶茶正因為這些黑色的小顆粒而得名，我們一般叫它為珍珠粉圓，公開的主材料是木薯澱粉。然而，單純的木薯澱粉並不能讓珍珠彈性足，如今比較通用做法是在其中加入小麥蛋白。即使如此，有的商家也覺得彈性還不夠，為了讓珍珠有“嚼頭“，於是再添加人工合成的高分子材料。
說白了，高分子材料就是塑膠，這也是行業內心照不宣的秘密。這樣的成分不可能被人體吸收，吃塑膠是什麼結果，大家可以想像。
Don't drink any more!
入黨 ( 這個好笑 )
新婚之夜，新郎輕撫著新娘的重點部位、問新娘：
『這地方我應該怎麼稱呼？是叫私處？還是應該叫 ....？』
新娘正言道：
『都不對，這叫黨！這就是最偉大的黨！從今天起，你要懂得黨的原則是什麼？』
1、只要你夠硬，黨的大門隨時為你敞開
2、黨的宗旨是忠誠；入了黨，就不能入別的黨；
3、你除了對黨要忠誠，還要保證對黨的純潔；
4、不要入黨前幹勁十足，入黨後鬆懈無力；
5、你要尊重黨，愛戴黨！時刻聽從黨召喚；
6、遵守黨的紀律，還要堅定不移地完成黨要你完 成的任務；
7、更不要忘記按照黨的要求，定時足額繳納黨費。
『這地方我應該怎麼稱呼？是叫私處？還是應該叫 ....？』
新娘正言道：
『都不對，這叫黨！這就是最偉大的黨！從今天起，你要懂得黨的原則是什麼？』
1、只要你夠硬，黨的大門隨時為你敞開
2、黨的宗旨是忠誠；入了黨，就不能入別的黨；
3、你除了對黨要忠誠，還要保證對黨的純潔；
4、不要入黨前幹勁十足，入黨後鬆懈無力；
5、你要尊重黨，愛戴黨！時刻聽從黨召喚；
6、遵守黨的紀律，還要堅定不移地完成黨要你完 成的任務；
7、更不要忘記按照黨的要求，定時足額繳納黨費。
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Appreciating the Yuan
First, no country including US has the right to tell other countries to appreciate their currency. The era of ‘you’re either my puppet or my enemy’ is long past and Obama is still living in the past glory. He blames China for all our ills, as he cannot fix our problems.
Keeping the Yuan low actually helps US's consumers and US in buying wind turbines or HSRs from China at lower prices. Not to mention the huge loans from China. China does not want to withdraw the bad loans as they do not want to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.
The major products of China and US are not the same, so there are no direct competitions. If we do not buy the products from China, most likely we'll buy same products from Mexico or India.
Until China builds up its local market for its growing middle class, I do not see Yuan will appreciate by more than 5% a year.
A strong China is good for the world including US! China is just one part of the global economy. The other players are research companies from the west and the US, oil from Middle East and Africa, and commodities from Australia, Brazil… Everyone benefits including the consumers in every country.
Lord Obama and his 'advisers' including Uncle Ben and Tiny Tim can do a lot of good if they looked longer-term (more than 4 years for re-election). To give generous welfare to buy votes and creating jobs for the lazy government servants are definitely not good for the country. Have we learned from California?
Throwing money on HSR is stupid and reckless without calculating basic return of the investment. China is successful with HSR due to its dense population, but not here.
Keeping the Yuan low actually helps US's consumers and US in buying wind turbines or HSRs from China at lower prices. Not to mention the huge loans from China. China does not want to withdraw the bad loans as they do not want to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs.
The major products of China and US are not the same, so there are no direct competitions. If we do not buy the products from China, most likely we'll buy same products from Mexico or India.
Until China builds up its local market for its growing middle class, I do not see Yuan will appreciate by more than 5% a year.
A strong China is good for the world including US! China is just one part of the global economy. The other players are research companies from the west and the US, oil from Middle East and Africa, and commodities from Australia, Brazil… Everyone benefits including the consumers in every country.
Lord Obama and his 'advisers' including Uncle Ben and Tiny Tim can do a lot of good if they looked longer-term (more than 4 years for re-election). To give generous welfare to buy votes and creating jobs for the lazy government servants are definitely not good for the country. Have we learned from California?
Throwing money on HSR is stupid and reckless without calculating basic return of the investment. China is successful with HSR due to its dense population, but not here.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
廣州話健康與長壽順口溜g
廣州話健康與長壽順口溜:
不到九十九 堅決不要走
如果下決心 方法一定有
早起做運動 晚上要早抖
飲食要均衡 營養要足夠
心境常歡悅 不憂亦不愁
常存滿足感 一切不強求
腦筋常常動 癡呆應少有
適量魚水歡 延年兼益壽
少鹽又少糖 戒煙戒烈酒
少肉多蔬果 營養自然夠
狗友與豬朋 多少總要有
行埋吹吓水 飲番杯紅酒
古今天下事 笑談不深究
以上順口溜 看完請記守
不到九十九 堅決不要走
如果下決心 方法一定有
早起做運動 晚上要早抖
飲食要均衡 營養要足夠
心境常歡悅 不憂亦不愁
常存滿足感 一切不強求
腦筋常常動 癡呆應少有
適量魚水歡 延年兼益壽
少鹽又少糖 戒煙戒烈酒
少肉多蔬果 營養自然夠
狗友與豬朋 多少總要有
行埋吹吓水 飲番杯紅酒
古今天下事 笑談不深究
以上順口溜 看完請記守
廣州話健康與長壽順口溜g
廣州話健康與長壽順口溜:
不到九十九 堅決不要走
如果下決心 方法一定有
早起做運動 晚上要早抖
飲食要均衡 營養要足夠
心境常歡悅 不憂亦不愁
常存滿足感 一切不強求
腦筋常常動 癡呆應少有
適量魚水歡 延年兼益壽
少鹽又少糖 戒煙戒烈酒
少肉多蔬果 營養自然夠
狗友與豬朋 多少總要有
行埋吹吓水 飲番杯紅酒
古今天下事 笑談不深究
以上順口溜 看完請記守
不到九十九 堅決不要走
如果下決心 方法一定有
早起做運動 晚上要早抖
飲食要均衡 營養要足夠
心境常歡悅 不憂亦不愁
常存滿足感 一切不強求
腦筋常常動 癡呆應少有
適量魚水歡 延年兼益壽
少鹽又少糖 戒煙戒烈酒
少肉多蔬果 營養自然夠
狗友與豬朋 多少總要有
行埋吹吓水 飲番杯紅酒
古今天下事 笑談不深究
以上順口溜 看完請記守
Merlot
> >
> > A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of
> > Merlot to an unusually
> > attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little
> > restaurant...
> >
> >
> >
> > So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
> > 'This is from the
> > gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the
> > sender with a nod of his
> > head.
> >
> >
> >
> > She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not
> > looking at the man,
> > then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter,
> > who was lingering
> > nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed
> > it to the gentleman
> >
> >
> >
> > The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you
> > need to have a Mercedes
> > in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and
> > '7' inches in your pants'.
> >
> >
> >
> > After reading the note, the man decided to compose
> > one of his own in
> > return.
> >
> >
> >
> > He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
> > instructed him to deliver
> > it to the lady.
> >
> >
> >
> > It read: Just to let you know things aren't
> > always what they appear to
> > be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and
> > a Porsche Turbo in
> > my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and
> > Miami , and a
> > 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over
> > twenty million dollars in
> > my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as
> > beautiful as you,
> > would I cut off three inches....
> >
> > Just send the
> > wine back.....
> >
> >
> >
> > Tiger
> >
> >
> >
>
> > A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of
> > Merlot to an unusually
> > attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little
> > restaurant...
> >
> >
> >
> > So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,
> > 'This is from the
> > gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the
> > sender with a nod of his
> > head.
> >
> >
> >
> > She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not
> > looking at the man,
> > then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter,
> > who was lingering
> > nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed
> > it to the gentleman
> >
> >
> >
> > The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you
> > need to have a Mercedes
> > in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and
> > '7' inches in your pants'.
> >
> >
> >
> > After reading the note, the man decided to compose
> > one of his own in
> > return.
> >
> >
> >
> > He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and
> > instructed him to deliver
> > it to the lady.
> >
> >
> >
> > It read: Just to let you know things aren't
> > always what they appear to
> > be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and
> > a Porsche Turbo in
> > my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and
> > Miami , and a
> > 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over
> > twenty million dollars in
> > my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as
> > beautiful as you,
> > would I cut off three inches....
> >
> > Just send the
> > wine back.....
> >
> >
> >
> > Tiger
> >
> >
> >
>
逗您開心一下！
(1)
匆匆的把你抱到床上,
慢慢的解開你的褲子,
悄悄的脫掉你的內褲,
柔柔我吻著你的面額,
對你說:..
"寶貝,換個姿勢,來.........
---媽媽給你換條尿片！乖！"
(2)
自從認識了你,
我就已經深深愛上了你!
你那陣陣的幽香,
時刻蕩漾在腦海,
你那火辣的激情時刻在我唇邊回味!
多謝你.....
---大力水手(Papeyes)香辣雞翼 !"
(3)
還記得那個夜晚嗎?
我們面對而坐,
悄悄的一句話沒說,
你瘋狂的摸,
我瘋狂的摸,
就這樣摸了很久,
突然你大叫一聲:
"啊......
--- 清一色,食胡啦!"
(4)
爸爸是一個大傻瓜，一天，他帶著兒子參加親戚的壽宴，
酒席後上了一碟壽桃；怎料小孩不識大體，叫道：
「這個好像是屁股呢！」在座的親戚全都望著小孩，
等著他爸爸怎樣教訓他，怎料，那傻瓜爸爸撕開壽桃，
對小孩說： ......
---「你看！裡面還有大便哩！」
(5)
張經理叫秘書呈公文給老闆， !
「捘鞳下月歐洲有一批訂單，我覺得公司需找人去和他們開會。」
老闆在公文後寫：「Goahead!」
張經理看後叫下屬買機票，而自己則收拾好行李。
出發前被秘書擋著，秘書：「你去哪裡？」
張經理：「去歐洲開會。」
秘書：「老闆同意嗎？」
經理：「他不是在公文寫goahead嗎？」
秘書：「難道你不知老闆英文程度嗎？
他的意見是......
---" 去你個頭呀"！」
(6)That's the funniest!!
正處於熱戀中的亞俊與 Amy本來約好一起去弔祭一位長輩，
但後來兩人因發生爭執，出殯當天，只有亞俊到場。
事後，亞俊感到後悔，便 send SMS 給 Amy 道歉，
怎知Amy看了後，更加憤怒。
原來亞俊的SMS內容是這樣的:
---「親愛的，昨日去殯儀館是想看你的，沒想到看不到你，心中真的
很難過。」
匆匆的把你抱到床上,
慢慢的解開你的褲子,
悄悄的脫掉你的內褲,
柔柔我吻著你的面額,
對你說:..
"寶貝,換個姿勢,來.........
---媽媽給你換條尿片！乖！"
(2)
自從認識了你,
我就已經深深愛上了你!
你那陣陣的幽香,
時刻蕩漾在腦海,
你那火辣的激情時刻在我唇邊回味!
多謝你.....
---大力水手(Papeyes)香辣雞翼 !"
(3)
還記得那個夜晚嗎?
我們面對而坐,
悄悄的一句話沒說,
你瘋狂的摸,
我瘋狂的摸,
就這樣摸了很久,
突然你大叫一聲:
"啊......
--- 清一色,食胡啦!"
(4)
爸爸是一個大傻瓜，一天，他帶著兒子參加親戚的壽宴，
酒席後上了一碟壽桃；怎料小孩不識大體，叫道：
「這個好像是屁股呢！」在座的親戚全都望著小孩，
等著他爸爸怎樣教訓他，怎料，那傻瓜爸爸撕開壽桃，
對小孩說： ......
---「你看！裡面還有大便哩！」
(5)
張經理叫秘書呈公文給老闆， !
「捘鞳下月歐洲有一批訂單，我覺得公司需找人去和他們開會。」
老闆在公文後寫：「Goahead!」
張經理看後叫下屬買機票，而自己則收拾好行李。
出發前被秘書擋著，秘書：「你去哪裡？」
張經理：「去歐洲開會。」
秘書：「老闆同意嗎？」
經理：「他不是在公文寫goahead嗎？」
秘書：「難道你不知老闆英文程度嗎？
他的意見是......
---" 去你個頭呀"！」
(6)That's the funniest!!
正處於熱戀中的亞俊與 Amy本來約好一起去弔祭一位長輩，
但後來兩人因發生爭執，出殯當天，只有亞俊到場。
事後，亞俊感到後悔，便 send SMS 給 Amy 道歉，
怎知Amy看了後，更加憤怒。
原來亞俊的SMS內容是這樣的:
---「親愛的，昨日去殯儀館是想看你的，沒想到看不到你，心中真的
很難過。」
Joke for this rainy morning
A Newfoundland farmer named Seamus had a car accident.
In court, the trucking company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honor,
I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge eighteen-wheeler came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown
into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was
in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the Fuck would you say?'
In court, the trucking company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.
'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the... '
'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '
The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honor,
I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge eighteen-wheeler came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown
into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was
in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Now what the Fuck would you say?'
Another bailout for the rich
Subject:Michele Obama
"In my own life in my own small way, I have tried to give back to this country that has given me so much," she said. See, that's why I left a job at a big law firm for a career in public service, ".
.Michelle Obama
No, Michele Obama does not get paid to serve as the First Lady and she doesn't perform any official duties. But this hasn't deterred her from hiring an unprecedented number of staffers to cater to her every whim and to satisfy her every request in the midst of the Great Recession.
Just think, Mary Lincoln was taken to task for purchasing china for the White House during the Civil War. And Mamie Eisenhower had to shell out the salary for her personal secretary from her husband's salary.
Total Personal Staff members for other first ladies paid by US taxpayers:
Mamie Eisenhower: One-- paid for personally out of President's salary.
Jackie Kennedy: One
Roseline Carter: One
Barbara Bush: One
Hilary Clinton: Three
Laura Bush: One
Michele Obama: Twenty-two
How things have changed! If you're one of the tens of millions of Americans facing certain destitution, earning less than subsistence wages stocking the shelves at Wal-Mart or serving up McDonald cheeseburgers, prepare to scream and then come to realize that the benefit package for these servants of Ms. Michelle are the same as members of the national security and defence departments and the bill for these assorted lackeys is paid by YOU, John Q .Public.
Michele Obama's personal staff:
One.. $172,200 - Sher, Susan (Chief Of Staff)
Two.. $140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C.(Director of Policy And Projects For The First Lady)
Three.. $113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (White House Social Secretary for Mrs. Obama)
Four.. $102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. ( Director of Communications for the First Lady)
Five.. $100,000 - Winter, Melissa (Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Six.. $90,000 - Medina , David S. (Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Seven.. $84,000 - Lilyveld, Catherine M. (Director and Press Secretary to the First Lady)
Eight.. $75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (Director of Scheduling and Advance for the First Lady)
Nine.. $70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (Deputy Director of Policy and Project for the First Lady)
Ten.. $65,000 - Burnough, Erinn (Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)
Eleven.. $64,000 - Reinstein, Joseph B.(Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)
Twelve.. $62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (Deputy Director of Scheduling and Events Coordinator For The First Lady)
Thirteen.. $60,000 Fitz, Alan O.(Deputy Director of Advance and Trip Director for the First Lady)
Fourteen.. $57,500 - Lewis, Dana M. (Special Assistant and Personal Aide to the First Lady)
Fifteen... $52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (Associate Director and Deputy Press Secretary To The First Lady)
Sixteen.. $50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (Special Assistant for Scheduling and Traveling Aide To The First Lady)
Seventeen.. $45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (Associate Director of Correspondence For The First Lady)
Eighteen.. $43,000 - Tubman, Samanth a (Deputy Associate Director, Social Office)
Nineteen.. $40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (Executive Assistant to the Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Twenty.. $36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (Staff Assistant to the Social Secretary)
Twenty-One.. $35,000 - Bookey, Natalie (Staff Assistant)
Twenty-Two.. $35,000 - Jackson, Deilia A. (Deputy Associate Director of Correspondence for the First Lady)
Total.. $1,591,200 in annual salaries
There has NEVER been anyone in the White House at any time who has created such an army of staffers whose sole duties are the facilitation of the First Lady's social life.
One wonders why she needs so much help, at taxpayer expense.
Note: This does not include makeup artist Ingrid Grimes-Miles, 49, and"First Hairstylist" Johnny Wright, 31, both of whom travelled aboard Air Force One to Europe .
.
Yes, I know, The Canadian Free Press had to publish this, perhaps because America no longer has a free press and the USA media is too scared that they might be considered racist or suffer at the hands of Obama.
Sorry America, sorry this had to come via an English gentleman.
"In my own life in my own small way, I have tried to give back to this country that has given me so much," she said. See, that's why I left a job at a big law firm for a career in public service, ".
.Michelle Obama
No, Michele Obama does not get paid to serve as the First Lady and she doesn't perform any official duties. But this hasn't deterred her from hiring an unprecedented number of staffers to cater to her every whim and to satisfy her every request in the midst of the Great Recession.
Just think, Mary Lincoln was taken to task for purchasing china for the White House during the Civil War. And Mamie Eisenhower had to shell out the salary for her personal secretary from her husband's salary.
Total Personal Staff members for other first ladies paid by US taxpayers:
Mamie Eisenhower: One-- paid for personally out of President's salary.
Jackie Kennedy: One
Roseline Carter: One
Barbara Bush: One
Hilary Clinton: Three
Laura Bush: One
Michele Obama: Twenty-two
How things have changed! If you're one of the tens of millions of Americans facing certain destitution, earning less than subsistence wages stocking the shelves at Wal-Mart or serving up McDonald cheeseburgers, prepare to scream and then come to realize that the benefit package for these servants of Ms. Michelle are the same as members of the national security and defence departments and the bill for these assorted lackeys is paid by YOU, John Q .Public.
Michele Obama's personal staff:
One.. $172,200 - Sher, Susan (Chief Of Staff)
Two.. $140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C.(Director of Policy And Projects For The First Lady)
Three.. $113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (White House Social Secretary for Mrs. Obama)
Four.. $102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. ( Director of Communications for the First Lady)
Five.. $100,000 - Winter, Melissa (Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Six.. $90,000 - Medina , David S. (Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Seven.. $84,000 - Lilyveld, Catherine M. (Director and Press Secretary to the First Lady)
Eight.. $75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (Director of Scheduling and Advance for the First Lady)
Nine.. $70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (Deputy Director of Policy and Project for the First Lady)
Ten.. $65,000 - Burnough, Erinn (Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)
Eleven.. $64,000 - Reinstein, Joseph B.(Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)
Twelve.. $62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (Deputy Director of Scheduling and Events Coordinator For The First Lady)
Thirteen.. $60,000 Fitz, Alan O.(Deputy Director of Advance and Trip Director for the First Lady)
Fourteen.. $57,500 - Lewis, Dana M. (Special Assistant and Personal Aide to the First Lady)
Fifteen... $52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (Associate Director and Deputy Press Secretary To The First Lady)
Sixteen.. $50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (Special Assistant for Scheduling and Traveling Aide To The First Lady)
Seventeen.. $45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (Associate Director of Correspondence For The First Lady)
Eighteen.. $43,000 - Tubman, Samanth a (Deputy Associate Director, Social Office)
Nineteen.. $40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (Executive Assistant to the Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
Twenty.. $36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (Staff Assistant to the Social Secretary)
Twenty-One.. $35,000 - Bookey, Natalie (Staff Assistant)
Twenty-Two.. $35,000 - Jackson, Deilia A. (Deputy Associate Director of Correspondence for the First Lady)
Total.. $1,591,200 in annual salaries
There has NEVER been anyone in the White House at any time who has created such an army of staffers whose sole duties are the facilitation of the First Lady's social life.
One wonders why she needs so much help, at taxpayer expense.
Note: This does not include makeup artist Ingrid Grimes-Miles, 49, and"First Hairstylist" Johnny Wright, 31, both of whom travelled aboard Air Force One to Europe .
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Yes, I know, The Canadian Free Press had to publish this, perhaps because America no longer has a free press and the USA media is too scared that they might be considered racist or suffer at the hands of Obama.
Sorry America, sorry this had to come via an English gentleman.
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