Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Lost in translation

主要用法列表
为了方便查询,我将目前能够找到的中式英语按照拼音的顺序排了出来,如下表。
1. 爱他妈的谁谁谁:love he mother’s who who who
2. 白痴:White eat!
3. 板门弄斧:play an ax before Luban
4. 班长:class long
5. 彼此彼此:you me you me
6. 表妹:watch sister
7. 别唬我:don’t tiger me
8. 不管三七二十一:no care three seven two ten one
9. 不入虎穴,焉得虎子:Blue who say,and whose
10. 不三不四: no three no four
11. 不要开黄腔:do not open yellow gun
12. 车祸现场描述 :one car come, one car go ,two car peng-peng, people die
13. 呈现强烈的企图心:Demonstrate the strong attempt heart
14. 吃白食:eat white food
15. 春江水暖鸭先知:spring river water warm duck first know
16. 大人不计小人过:Big people do not think of small people’s mistake
17. 第一眼看到你,我就爱上你了:first eye see you, i shit love you
18. 电源线:power line
19. 放马过来,给你点颜色看看:release your horse and come, I’ll give you some color to see see
20. 蜂拥而至:go out like bee
21. 给你点颜色看看:I’ll show you some color
22. 给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸:I give you face you don’t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn my face
23. 恭喜发财:go high fuck try
24. 狗娘养的:dog mother born
25. 关公面前耍大刀:play a big knife before Guangong
26. 好多人死了,你怎么不去死!:How many pople go to die, why do not you go to die
27. 好好学习、天天向上:good good study, day day up
28. 好久不见:long time no see (这个用法已经被当地的美国口语,尤其是被文化程度不高的群体所接受)
29. 红颜知己:red face know me
30. 加油:add oil
31. 救人一命,胜造七级浮屠: save man one life, betther than building up 7-floor tower
32. 开水:open water
33. 看不看:see no see?
34. 抗日游行:resist sun swim go
35. 课间操:lesson between fuck
36. 老表:old watch
37. 龙生龙,凤生凤,老鼠的儿子会打洞 :dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse’s son can make hole
38. 马马虎虎:horse horse tiger tiger
39. 没脸见人:have no face see person
40. 美中不足:American Chinese not enough
41. 面试:face try
42. 明天谁起得早谁叫谁:tomorrow morning who get up early, who call who!
43. 哪凉快哪呆着去where cool where you stay!
44. 你爱我吗:you love I?
45. 你不鸟我,我也不鸟你:you don’t bird me, so I don’t bird you
46. 你给我等着:you give me wait
47. 你给我滚出去:you gave me get out
48. 你给我记住:you give me remember
49. 你给我站住:you give me stop
50. 你没看,我现在非常忙,一边玩去:You no see, I now very busy. One side play go
51. 你妻子真漂亮/哪里哪里:your wife is beautiful/where where
52. 你去不去?你不去我去!:You go no go? You no go I go!
53. 你认为你是谁?:What do you think ,who are you ?
54. 你他妈的:you he mother’s
55. 你问我,我去问谁:you ask me, me ask who
56. 你丫要敢唬我,我他妈扇你!:IF you tiger me,I will mountain you!
57. 你有两下子:you have two down son
58. 你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上:you have seed, I will give you some color to see see, brothers ! together up !
59. 你真有两下子:you really have tow down son
60. 骑驴看唱本,走着瞧:riding a donkey reading play , go and see
61. 七上八下:seven up eight down
62. 亲爱的王小姐:dear wang little girl
63. 請別碰行李:Please no touch the move the lee
64. 青翠欲滴:It`s so green as will dropped
65. 去你妈:go you mother
66. 让世界充满爱:let's make love all over the world
67. 人山人海:people mountain people sea
68. 人之初,性本善:people first born, sex is kind
69. 三人行,必有我师:three people go, one is my teacher
70. 三心二意:three heart two meaning
71. 色狼:colour wolf
72. 生日快乐:birthday happy
73. 上网:up net
74. 上学:up school
75. 胜败乃家常便饭:win lost milk house long poopoo rice
76. 是不是:yes no yes
77. 十全十美:ten all ten nice
78. 十三点:ten three point
79. 试试看:try try see
80. 耍帅:play handsome
81. 死猪不怕开水烫!:die pig not pa hot water tang!
82. 谈朋友:talk friend
83. 体壮如牛:body strong as a cow
84. 万紫千红:ten thousand purple one thousand red (我在中国的某一个挂历中看到)
85. 王八:king eight
86. 王八蛋:wang eight eggs
87. 望穿秋水:look through autumn water
88. 王老五:wang old five
89. 唯小人与女人难养也:only small people and women hard to feed
90. 我的天呀!:my sky !
91. 我服了你!:I follow you!
92. 我感到很难过:I feel difficult to pass
93. 我叫李老大,今年25:I call Li old big. toyear 25
94. 我容易么我?:am I easy I?
95. 我是大儿子:I am a big son
96. 我是独一无二:I am olny one no two
97. 我是流氓我怕谁:I’m a scamp, I’m afraid of whom
98. 我是中国人:I am in China
99. 我要给你点颜色看看:I will give you some color to see see (好像也被黑人群体最近所采用)
100. 五讲、四美、三热爱:five talk, four beauty, three lover
101. 无钱无得:No money, no talk
102. 笑里藏刀:A knife in the smile
103. 心花怒放 :heart flower angry open
104. 眼看手勿动:look, see OK, no touch
105. 要钱不给,要命有一条:want money no, want life one
106. 要钱还是要命:money or life?
107. 一分耕耘一分收穫:EVEN GAME WIN , EVEN SO WHOLE
108. 一见钟情:One look clock love
109. 意思意思:meaning meaning
110. 一言既出,驷马难追:one word is out, four horses cannot chase
111. 一元复苏,万象更新:one dollar restart, ten thousand elephant update
112. 远水解不了近渴:Far water car not save near thirsty
113. 咱们兄弟谁跟谁啊:we brothers, who and who ah
114. 怎么老是你:how old are you?
115. 怎么是你:how are you?
116. 朝三暮四:morning three night four (感谢台湾卡通,好像这个用法在孩子们中开始流行)
117. 这样也行?:this too good?
118. 知之为知之,不知为不知:know is know, no know is no know
119. 中国人民万岁:China people ten thousand year
120. 猪狗不如:PIG DOG BLUE
121. 猪肉面条:pig noodle
122. 猪头三,去死吧:pig 3 head,go dead!
123. 走过路过,不要错过:go past no mistake past
124. 走着瞧:go and look!
125. 钻石王老五:diamond wang old five
126. 作早操:do early fuck

应用例之一
话说一个国内知名企业,一天来了一个重要的外宾,下面是前台的对话。
  前台小姐:“hello.” 你好。
  美国人:“hi.” 你好。
  前台小姐:“you have what thing?” 你有什么事情?
  美国人:“can you speak English?” 你能和我说英语吗?
  前台小姐:“if i not speak English,i am speaking what?”如果我不是在说英语,那我在说什么呢? 
  美国人:“can anybody else speak English?” 这里有别的人能说英语吗?

  前台小姐:“you yourself look,all people are playing, no people have time, you can wait,you wait, you not wait,you go!” .你自己看看,所有的人都在忙着,没有人有时间,你能等你就等,你不能等你说走! 
  美国人:“good heavens. anybody here can speak English?” 我的天啦,这里没有人能讲英语吗?
  前台小姐:“shout what shout,quiet a little,you one have what thing?” 嚷什么嚷,安静一点,你还有什么事情? 
  美国人:“i want to speak to your head.” 我要找你们的头儿。 
  前台小姐:“head not zai. you tomorrow come!” 头不在,你明天来!

应用例之二
这里我们再举几个会话的例子。
小明:I am sorry!
老外:I am sorry too!
小明:I am sorry three!
老外:What are you sorry for?
小明:I am sorry five!
雇主: how much do you want a month? 你一个月要多少钱?
保姆:800 yuan, eat you, sleep you. 800块, 吃你的,住你的。

小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet?
老师说:Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?
小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!

某女领导会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到女士,立刻按照西方的习惯拍马屁道:"Miss x, you are very beautiful."
翻译照翻,领导心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。
翻译不敢怠慢,把她的话翻成英文:"Where? Where?"
外宾一愣,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere, everywhere。"
翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”
领导更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。
翻译赶紧翻成英文:"You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see."

一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答: right. 于是他立刻向右转……

应用例之三
当然了,歪歪的道理也是有点,不过这里是理解的问题。
某次英文考试有两道题目,老师让同学们译成英文:
1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。
2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。
正确答案似乎应该是:
1)I put on my coat and find that its top button is gone.
2)He picks up the phone as soon as he hears the phone ring.
但是某生的答案是:
1)Shit!
2)Hello?
不是英文的问题,是有点文不对题。

老师让同学们翻译Time is money,某位学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”

某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我他妈还是方片七呢!
话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」
轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出! 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」

某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男久思,毅然下笔:“Once a week”。
签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female”。
官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?”
男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”

小强去看电影,到了电影售票处,发现一个老外和售票小姐连说带比得好半天,就自告奋勇的上前做翻译,售票小姐说:麻烦你告诉她,现在坐票售完了只剩下站票,如果要看要站着看。
小强转头就对老外说:no sit see, stand see. if see stand see.
老外回答说:sorry I don’t understand your English.
小强就对售票小姐说:哦,他说他不懂英文.......

下面是一位朋友在各个银行之间为了一点存款的事,折腾了好半天,结果是一事无成。
去了中国建设银行,CBC (Construction Bank of China),营业员问,“存不存?”
后面是中国银行的同志,BC (Bank of China),回答道“不存。”
中国农业银行的同志说,ABC (Agriculture Bank of China),“啊,不存”。
中国工商银行的同志来火了,ICBC (Industry and Commercial Bank of China),“爱存不存”。
民生银行听了,CMSB (China Minsheng Bank),接上话,“存吗?傻比!”
招商银行,CMBC,也应答道,“存吗??白痴!”
这位顾客火了,我的事关你啥事?我去兴业银行,CIB,“存一百”。
国家开发银行的同志听了,CDB (China Development Bank),在我们这里也,“存点吧!”
北京市商业银行的同志说了,BCCB (Beijing City Commercial Bank),“白存存不?”
想了半天,还是汇丰银行,(HSBC),答话了,“还是不存!”结果无功而返。
有趣的注音英语

一位同学的注音英语:
yes--爷死
nice--奶死
bus--爸死
mouth--妈死
jeeps--姐死
girls--哥死
was--我死
妹死――Miss
死光――school。
气死—kiss
打死—dose

1 comment:

  1. To be fair, there should be jokes on Westerners learning Chinese.

    ReplyDelete